Sunday, January 18, 2015

2 months


It's cruel how fast time goes. You need to slow this growing up thing down. You hear me?

Coop you are two months old. You are weighing in at 12 pounds 6 ounces (I know right?!) and 23 inches long. You are solidly in - and 3 month clothes. Even your newborn pants are too short now. You have gotten long!

You are a smiley little guy. It may have taken you a while to start giving us those smiles but at 7 weeks it just kind of clicked with you and you've been smiling ever since. We can't get enough. It's the cutest little thing ever.

You've also laughed out loud once on January 12th. Just once though and it was at something your sister was doing. You haven't done it since though.

You've also rolled over once from tummy to back. You were bound and determined you weren't going to do tummy time! You do tolerate tummy time sometimes, but you definitely don't love it.

You are a pro at straightening and standing on those little legs of yours when we hold you up. You still prefer to be facing out when being held and sitting facing out. You just like to see the world.

You have such good head control. You just seem so big already!

You are doing much better with your sleeping. You still aren't a great schedule per se but you've started sleeping around 5-6 hours straight, sometimes seven, most nights so I'll take it. You still have a few nights where you wake at about 2:30 but you just nurse for about 15-20 minutes and then you are right back to sleep. I prefer the mornings you sleep til about 4. Just saying...

You still aren't a great napper. I'm not super strict with you. Maybe I should be, but you aren't unhappy and you aren't screaming so... we shall see. Maybe next month I'll crack down more. Right now? well you can do no wrong.

You are definitely a Mama's boy. You much prefer me to anyone else. I secretly love this. Though it would be nice to have more than 10 minutes to get things done. I need my arms buddy!

You still have the most calm, laid back demeanor. You cry when hungry and when tired. As soon as you start whining that you're tired, we stick a paci in your mouth, swaddle you up, and you are out in minutes. You are really good at putting yourself to sleep as well. I kind of miss having to rock you to sleep but I am glad you can self soothe.

Cooper you've rocked our worlds in the best possible way. It's only been two months but it feels like you were always a part of us. We love you little buddy.

Monday, January 12, 2015

the last few weeks...

So somehow my maternity leave is already over. I literally blinked and 6 weeks were gone. I had all these big plans on what I would get done while I was on "break". Ask me how many I got dome. That's right; zero. But I really don't care. Because I spent my break cuddling a baby. A baby that is already 8 weeks old. I don't even know how that happened.

I keep swearing I'm going to blog more. Blog his everyday like I did with Ella. But I have to be honest, life is busy right now. There's work, church, play, dogs, cat, kids; someone always needs something. And this blog comes last. It kind of has too. But I do really want to have a record for him like I do for Ella. So I'm going to try.

My maternity leave flew by. Coop and I spent a lot of time watching Netflix and cuddling. It was all kinds of awesome. We celebrated Thanksgiving and then Christmas and before I knew it, his first month was up.

There wasn't a lot of time for crazy postpartum hormones. With so many people here, it was hard to just sit around and cry. I did sneak away a few times for a good cry, but overall, the whole postpartum thing was much better this time around. I felt good. Even the crazy nights with him were good. I was tired, but I felt good.

With a four year old sister, there wasn't a lot of time to sit around and do nothing. When she was home, we were busy. So C got dragged to all kinds of Christmas activities. We did Christmasville and Santa visits and ice-skating. We traveled down to Florence and met C's other grandparents and introduced C to one of my best friends. We left C with a sitter for a night while Ella was at a lock in at school and Mr. P and I got a little date night to enjoy dinner and Christmas shopping.

It flew by. I hope to blog more about Christmas soon. It was so fun. E is at such a fun age and C is just a doll.

Cooper is the sweetest baby ever. He was sucking at sleeping, but even that's gotten better the last few nights. I'll talk more about him in his two month post, which somehow is right around the corner. This time around has been so different from E. I don't know why but this baby has me wrapped. I was a schedule nazi with Ella, but with C, I'm letting him do things on his own time. The thought his crying it out breaks my heart and I haven't been able to do it at all. Fortunately he hasn't had too as he's figuring things out pretty well on his own.

I'm so in love with this baby. So in love. I pretty much think the sun and moon rises because of him. I knew I would love him but I couldn't even fathom a love like this. I guess it's true; there really is something special about a Mom and her son. He stole my heart.

Ella has been a rockstar but she honestly deserves her own post full of all the brags. Let's just say that Coop definitely lucked up in the big sister department. He got the best one ever.

So that's where we are. We're trying to figure things out and navigate our new normal. Life is good. It's really good.

Friday, January 2, 2015

it's only a season....

You'll sleep again one day..

This is the mantra I'm repeating to myself over and over these days. I am tired.

There is so much I want to catch up on. So much I want to blog. Cooper's First Christmas, Ella and Cooper meeting for the first time, what we're up to these days... But that requires time. And two hands. Neither of which I have very often these days.

The first couple of weeks with C were amazing. I was tired, of course, but the every three hours was working for us and even when he was awake, he was so darn pleasant that I thoroughly enjoyed it. I remarked on more than one occasion how different this was than with Ella. With her, the nights were full of screaming and tears from both of us and the exhaustion couple with that was more than I could take. I can't tell you how many times I ran to B and handed him her with the words "I can't take it anymore!".

Cooper has been so different. I haven't felt that. I haven't woken B up any as I've been handling the nights pretty well. He was napping pretty decent during the day as well so I was able to occasionally get some rest.

The last week or so has completely changed. I don't believe you can "spoil" a newborn, but this one certainly acts like it. He is only happy when held and his sleeping has gone to pot. I've tried to start following some sort of schedule lately and I'm pretty sure I can actually hear him laughing at me when I try to make him do something on my timetable. He's been staying up til midnight these days even pushing it to 1 am last night only to wake up again at 4 and stay awake for two hours.

He's still not crying in the night; as long as you hold him. When you put him down? all bets are off and I'm just not to the crying it out stage yet. I may be my own worst enemy but....

My girl is being awesome. She is far and away the best big sister EVER. She's so helpful and lights up when given the opportunity to hold or feed her brother. She's had a few more tantrums than usual but even that is calming down as she gets a bit more used to him. I do feel like she gets the shaft a lot because C does take a lot of my time, but she's rolling with it. Currently she's singing along to "Part of Your World" from the Little Mermaid and giving me five seconds of peace and quiet while Cooper takes what is sure to be a ten minute nap.

Life is different with two. I feel like sometimes I can barely keep my head up as I juggle work (yes, I worked through my maternity leave which is up on Monday), Ella, Cooper, B, and the house. I'll let you guess which of those are getting the short end of the stick. I did spend a good deal of my maternity just cuddling my boy which I am so glad of, but I'm still beyond devastated that that time is over.

I don't even know what I'm saying. And now Cooper is awake again. Called it. His naps suck.

I'll leave you with this; my boys first smile caught on camera at 6 1/2 weeks. He better be glad he's so darn cute. And that I know this is just a season and we will get through this..

I'll sleep eventually.

Friday, December 19, 2014

1 month.


Sweet boy, you are one month old! I cannot even wrap my head around that fact. Fastest month ever.

You are such a good baby. You're one of those babies that trick people into having many, many more because you are so enjoyable. You just have the best disposition.

You prefer to be held to anything else. You want to sleep being held, eat being held, you just want to snuggle. Truthfully, usually I let you do just that. Because I also really, really like to snuggle you. It's pretty much my current favorite past time.

You don't really like your swing which was your sister's favorite so that's different. You'll go in it for about ten minutes or so and then you're ready to be picked up again. Sometimes you're pretty cool to just hang out on your back and look around and you'll even tolerate tummy time. Like I said, best disposition.

You currently sleep in the rock-n-play in our room and I don't see that changing any time soon. I love you being that close. You nap on your belly in our room. We were struggling with nap time but I let you lay on your belly and it was a game changer. You only get to do this at naptime while we are awake though.

You are a champion nurser. You have never had a problem latching or anything. In fact my supply issues have really bummed me out because I've felt like I'm letting you down. That's getting better though. You are still currently nursing and taking a bottle afterwards. I've tried to get my supply up but it's not going anywhere. This works for us right now though.

You had a hard time in the first couple of weeks. We battled supply issues and you lost a good bit of weight, getting down to 6 pounds 15 ounces, so we have been supplementing with formula after every feeding. I've been trying to get my supply up, but no big change there unfortunately. Oh well, supplementing works for us right now. We'll see what happens next. I learned from your sister that there is no sense beating myself up over this. You're getting both. You're good.

At your one month appointment you were back up to 9 pounds 6 ounces and 21 1/2 inches long. You're in the 50th percentile for everything. You still have an umbilical hernia but we just have to watch that. Your sister had one too and it's closed up now. You also still have the heart murmur you were born with. We have an appointment on January 7th for an EKG. Your doctor is 99% sure it will be just a small murmur but since it hasn't closed up yet, she does want to double check things.

You like to grip our fingers and have excellent head control for a one month old. You have found the fan and love to stare at it. You like to be facing out so you can check out the world. You aren't smiling at us yet, but you have found your voice and do coo at us sometimes. It's pretty much the cutest thing ever.

You cry when you're hungry or gassy and that's about it. You HATE being naked so diaper changes, clothes changes, and baths are a nightmare right now. Hopefully you'll grow out of that soon. We went and bought you a wipe warmer which has helped diaper changes a bit, but not completely.

You are still in newborn diapers and clothes but you wear some size 1 diapers. You won't be in newborn onesies for long though. You're built like your sister with that long torso and they are starting to look a bit muscle tee-ish. You may be in newborn pants forever though with your tiny little waist and short little legs. Blame your Dad for that ;)

You are just the best little guy. I simply can't get enough. We love you Coop-a-loop. You were just what our family needed.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

the birth story.

It's been just three weeks since our sweet little guy entered this world and completed our little family.

I'll admit it, by the end of my pregnancy, I was flat over it. I had in my head from the very beginning that I would be induced at 39 weeks. This was thanks to my doctor at the very beginning of my pregnancy telling me "we won't let you go past 39 weeks". So yea. But then as I got to the end, things changed, and my doctor quit talking like that.

Boo hiss.

I quit my heparin shots at just shy of 37 weeks. With Ella, she showed a decrease in growth a week and a half after I stopped. With C, he was handling the lack of heparin like a champ. But it wasn't helping my nerves to go to every appointment and just be told to "come back in a week unless you notice a decrease in movement".

At 37 weeks we had a growth scan that said the little guy was around 7 1/2 pounds. We were told that we would do another growth scan at 39 weeks if he hadn't come yet. I'm pretty sure my head spun as I heard that the doctor was going to let me go past 39 weeks. Not okay.

Now I know that it's best for the baby to stay in as long as possible. I get that. I do. And while I was very, very, VERY uncomfortable, I would have dealt with that until he was ready too. I know it's about him. But not being on meds was freaking me out and all I could see was how E dealt with the change and my biggest fear was that we would leave him in there too long and we would have a problem. A problem where we would have to do a c-section or something else quickly to get him out.

Monday the 17th I had my 39 week appointment. I told both Mr. P and my Mom before I left that I wasn't coming out of there without a plan. I think they thought I was kidding. I was not.

After being checked by the nurse, the doctor came in. He checked my cervix (still closed up like Fort Knox) and then I asked him what the plan was. He asked me if I wanted to be induced, and in typical fashion, I made a joke as an answer while he stared at me blindly. The next thing I knew he was stepping out of the room saying he had to make a call. So I sat there waiting. After a couple of minutes he poked his head back in to tell me that he was trying to get me in that night and did I have time to wait on him to make a couple of phone calls.

Umm what?!

A couple of minutes later I was leaving, but not with an appointment for the next, but instead with a registration paper stating that we were to be checked into the hospital that night. It was 10 am and I was officially starting to panic.

I sent Mr. P a text letting him know what was going on and then I ran to Target so I could pack my hospital bag. I like the pressure of a deadline. After Target, I picked E up from school to spend the afternoon with her.

No lie, I was a bit overwhelmed. I wondered what I would have done if I had known last night was Ella's last night as an only child. I feel like I missed a major moment there but it is what it is.

After a couple of hours, it was time to go. We grabbed our bags, dropped E off at my best friend's house to go hang out for a bit, headed to Wal-mart for some last minute things and then headed to the hospital.
We quickly got registered and moved upstairs. After just a bit, they came up and gave me the first dose of Cryotec to get things going. I was so nervous by this point. My prayer was just that things would move faster than they did with Ella. I made sure to mention to multiple people how fast my labor went after they broke my water with her and they said they would probably do that first thing in the morning. Things were looking up.

They came and brought me an Ambien which had the opposite effect it was supposed to on me and quickly had me wired. I could not sleep. I was awake at 10 pm when they gave me my next dose of the meds and then at 2 am they came in to tell me that my contractions were too close together to have that dose. Things were happening.

In the morning, they came in about 5 to let me know I could go ahead and take a shower if I wanted too. They kept telling me that the things I had been feeling for weeks were contractions but so far they weren't strong enough to really do much. I couldn't believe I had been walking around for weeks with legit contractions. I thought they were Braxton Hicks. Who knew?

At 6 am they came in to get an IV started. It took two nurses and three sticks but eventually they got it going and they got the Pitocin going. It wasn't long at all before my doctor came in. I somehow managed to get the one doctor at the practice that I didn't really know because I had only seen once my whole pregnancy. I wasn't sure about things but she won me over quickly when she went ahead and broke my water at only 1 cm and a +2 station.

After my water was broken, things progressed pretty quickly. I asked for my epidural pretty early because I don't do pain and the guy was in there in no time. Unfortunately, he stuck my first one in a vein so he had to pull that out and start a second one. It wasn't painful but it was pretty hard to sit that straight and that still while having so many contractions. Not fun.

Things went so quickly after my epidural. My contractions were pretty consistent but everything was pretty manageable and I was so happy things were so different from E's delivery. Unfortunately they didn't stay that way.

I started to feel this insane pain in my tailbone. It came out of nowhere and it came fast and fierce. Every single time I had a contraction, it felt like my spine was fixing to shatter. It was by far the most intense pain I ever felt. I quickly felt the intense need to push so the nurse came to check me only to find that I was at a ten but he was still at a +2 station.

The pain was so bad that the anesthesiologist came back twice to up my epidural. It didn't touch it. I ended up with legs so numb that even after my delivery, the anesthesiologist was still in my room even going so far as to hold a leg up for me because he was so worried I would do something to cause nerve damage. It was the weirdest feeling ever. I could barely feel my contractions but it wasn't touching the pain in my tailbone and spine.

The doctor came in to see what was going on and quickly determined his head was stuck on my tailbone and was hitting it every time I had a contraction. Her plan was to try and turn him during a contraction. By this point, the desire to push was so strong that I couldn't help but to push but every push brought that intense pain and made me back off.

It was awful. I was terrified that I wouldn't be able to push because the pain was psyching me out. I ended up with one nurse and B holding my legs, the doctor trying to turn him, and one nurse with a towel playing tug of war with me which was the only way I could think to push.

Eventually his head was off my tailbone and he moved down but then his poor shoulder got stuck. He had somehow switched to face up from his appointment where he was in the perfect position and he was just in a bad position. I was struggling so hard. Everyone was doing their best to cheer me on and encourage me but I have never felt so defeated. I really, really didn't think he was every going to come out.

The doctor ended up getting out the suction to help me. I could feel that he was right there but I could also tell by the faces looking back at me that it needed to happen quickly or we would be going another route. That I didn't want. So I gave it my all. I seriously thought my spine snapped as he finally came out and then things got super hazy.

He didn't make a sound. I could see B checking on him and the doctor quickly assessing him, but I was out. I couldn't even focus. I just stared into space. Finally, he gasped and they handed him to me. He still hadn't cried but he quickly made himself at home on my chest and locked eyes with me. I was so spent I could barely get my hands on him.

Fortunately it didn't take me long to come back. And it didn't take him long to perk up. He only got a 7 on his apgar and he had some serious bruising on his head, but he is absolute perfection. I ended up with a pretty fierce episiotomy but I didn't feel that at all thanks to the super, super numb legs. It wasn't long though, til my epidural wore off and I immediately felt better. Well, except for my tail bone. Pretty sure that thing is still bruised.

But he's here. He's perfection. And he has been the best baby ever. We are so in love.

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