Today I turn 31. Which is kind of crazy because I can distinctly remember turning 30 and it JUST happened so I have no idea how I got here. But here I am.
I've heard that women are getting to the point where they are just now "finding" themselves on into their thirties and I so get that. At thirty, I thought I would have it all figured out. But somehow I woke up that morning just as clueless about so much as I'd been at twenty nine. Guess I got that one wrong.
A lot has changed in 365 days. We moved. Again. I changed jobs. Again. My personal life has both flourished and suffered greatly this past year in ways that I won't ever write about but they have shaped me greatly. It's been a year, that's for sure.
I've done a lot of growing and changing over the last couple of months. I'm no where near where I want to be, but I'm getting there and that's okay. It's okay to be a constant work in progress. I fully intend on still being in the process of figuring things out when I slide into the grave. It's just who I am.
While I am a work in progress, there are a few things that I've found to be undeniably true about who I am. Things that are me to the core. Things that maybe at one time I tried to hide, or deny, but now? now that I'm on the other side of 30? I've realized it's too exhausting to not just be me. To not let my "freak flag" fly. It may have cost me a few friendships and a few hard life lessons, but it's also deepened relationships that mean the world to me.
So for my thirty first birthday, thirty one things that make me, me. Tied in with the lessons that finally got me to be okay with who I am. Actually, that's not true. I am MORE than okay with who I am. And here's who you are today girl. Happy 31st Birthday.
31. Music will ALWAYS be the way to your soul. Do not be ashamed when a song brings you to tears or makes you close your eyes and just sit and listen. It's okay to sing a little too loud and to spend a bit too much money on concert tickets. This is your release. Enjoy it.
30. You kind of hate running. Yet you keep doing it. I'm actually not so sure why I keep putting myself through it except that I've just always done it. But old injuries are starting to hurt more and more and the runs are becoming more excruciating. It's okay to throw in the towel girl.
29. You also know you won't do that. You aren't a quitter.
28. You HATE confrontation. When forced to deal with it, you will. And you will handle it with sarcasm and wit, but you will be a sweaty, nervous mess while doing it. Don't pretend to be a bad ass. Fights and drama are not your thing.
27. You are flaky. Like REAL flaky. At least five mornings a week you lose your keys or your purse or something. You keep buying things to help you get "organized" and you usually lose those. Thank God you married an organized man.
26. You're a procrastinator. BIG TIME. You usually have great intentions and big plans but then lack the follow through. We're working on this but see above.
25. You've spent a good deal of time barking up the wrong tree when it comes to friendships. You won't be everyone's best friend. You can't buy friendship. Some friendships just aren't worth the effort. You are still learning which ones are but you're getting better. It's not worth the energy to be the only one trying.
24. If your kid isn't important to someone; they shouldn't be important to you. Forgetting your kids birthday when it's not allowed to forget their kids? Unacceptable. You don't need these people.
23. You will always get to invested in certain tv shows. Glee, One Tree Hill? Yep. You love them. Pretty sure you always will. And it's okay to disappear into them for a few hours. Life is hard. Sometimes it's nice to escape.
22. Laughter is always the best medicine. You married a funny man and your friends are hilarious. Clearly you already know this. ;)
21. Life usually doesn't turn out the way we envision in high school. I NEVER thought things would be the way they are now. But they're better. WAY better. Enjoy the twists and turns of life. They aren't always fun but they have a point. It just may take a long time to get to that point.
20. Girls' Night Out is your sanity. Never stop making time for your friends. They are the place you can just be "Megan" instead of "Mom". It's a good thing. You need that time.
19. You will never be on time. Ever. Keep trying though. It's not fun being late.
18. Work is stressful and sometimes you hate it, but you are good at what you do. Though you never would have imagined you would be doing what you do, it's worked out perfect. You are good at it because you work hard. It's one of your better qualities.
17. You're funny. Which is kind of cool. Don't be ashamed of it. Humor gets you through the day. Rock it.
16. You cannot rock pastels, collared shirts, or clothes with animal prints. And truth? you don't want too.
15. You might be a bit of a hippie. But that's okay. Hippie's are cool. You do shower so that's a win.
14. Life isn't always easy. Some very important relationships in your life are not at all what you've dreamed of. But you know what? You have the chance to make better ones with the next generation. Let go of the past. Ella is your second chance.
13. You are fiercely competitive. Get prepared to be banished to the car should your daughter play sports. This will happen.
12. You have an extremely laid back take on parenting. And while sometimes you beat yourself up for it because it's not the "norm" it works for you and your daughter. Go your own way. She's happy and taken care of. And that's what matters.
11. You eat like crap. And the metabolism you used to have? It's long gone son. Shae that department up stat.
10. As much as you envy stay at home moms, you weren't meant to be one. And your kid? she thrives at school. The situation y'all are in now is the best one for the two of you. It didn't work out for y'all to be together all the time and that's okay. It doesn't mean you love each other less or anything like that. It's just who y'all are.
9. Your husband will always make you a bit crazy but that's because y'all are so different. And those differences? are fantastic. He levels you out in a way that you need daily. He's truly your best sidekick. You got a good one.
8. You're getting older but it's still okay to drive a little too fast sometimes. To play your music a bit too loud. To drink a bit too much. Life is good. Live it.
7. Love hard. You will always think that people are inherently good and that's a good thing. The world needs more people like that. Love people. It's the greatest commandment. It is that for a reason.
6. Show your daughter how important school is but also show her how important it is to get out of those doors and learn in the world. It has SO much to show her. Make sure you show her the world before someone else does. You'll show her the good parts. No telling what someone else might show her.
5. Get outside every day. You start to get sulky when you don't. This is a command.
4. Love your kid. Hard. You know how bad it hurts when you don't feel that. Smother her with love. And when she starts to fight back, do it harder. You have every intention of being the embarrassing mom. ;) Rock it.
3. Love your husband. Hard. He saved you in every way possible. He deserves to know how much you will always appreciate him.
2. Love your God. Hard. He's the only reason you've made it this far.
1. You're 31 girl, but you still have so much more to learn and do. So rock your aviators, play your music, wear flip flops daily, cry at sappy tv shows, laugh with your friends, love your family, hold your daughter, and thank God daily for your life. It sort of rocks.