It's been just three weeks since our sweet little guy entered this world and completed our little family.
I'll admit it, by the end of my pregnancy, I was flat over it. I had in my head from the very beginning that I would be induced at 39 weeks. This was thanks to my doctor at the very beginning of my pregnancy telling me "we won't let you go past 39 weeks". So yea. But then as I got to the end, things changed, and my doctor quit talking like that.
I quit my heparin shots at just shy of 37 weeks. With Ella, she showed a decrease in growth a week and a half after I stopped. With C, he was handling the lack of heparin like a champ. But it wasn't helping my nerves to go to every appointment and just be told to "come back in a week unless you notice a decrease in movement".
At 37 weeks we had a growth scan that said the little guy was around 7 1/2 pounds. We were told that we would do another growth scan at 39 weeks if he hadn't come yet. I'm pretty sure my head spun as I heard that the doctor was going to let me go past 39 weeks. Not okay.
Now I know that it's best for the baby to stay in as long as possible. I get that. I do. And while I was very, very, VERY uncomfortable, I would have dealt with that until he was ready too. I know it's about him. But not being on meds was freaking me out and all I could see was how E dealt with the change and my biggest fear was that we would leave him in there too long and we would have a problem. A problem where we would have to do a c-section or something else quickly to get him out.
Monday the 17th I had my 39 week appointment. I told both Mr. P and my Mom before I left that I wasn't coming out of there without a plan. I think they thought I was kidding. I was not.
After being checked by the nurse, the doctor came in. He checked my cervix (still closed up like Fort Knox) and then I asked him what the plan was. He asked me if I wanted to be induced, and in typical fashion, I made a joke as an answer while he stared at me blindly. The next thing I knew he was stepping out of the room saying he had to make a call. So I sat there waiting. After a couple of minutes he poked his head back in to tell me that he was trying to get me in that night and did I have time to wait on him to make a couple of phone calls.
A couple of minutes later I was leaving, but not with an appointment for the next, but instead with a registration paper stating that we were to be checked into the hospital that night. It was 10 am and I was officially starting to panic.
I sent Mr. P a text letting him know what was going on and then I ran to Target so I could pack my hospital bag. I like the pressure of a deadline. After Target, I picked E up from school to spend the afternoon with her.
No lie, I was a bit overwhelmed. I wondered what I would have done if I had known last night was Ella's last night as an only child. I feel like I missed a major moment there but it is what it is.
After a couple of hours, it was time to go. We grabbed our bags, dropped E off at my best friend's house to go hang out for a bit, headed to Wal-mart for some last minute things and then headed to the hospital.
They came and brought me an Ambien which had the opposite effect it was supposed to on me and quickly had me wired. I could not sleep. I was awake at 10 pm when they gave me my next dose of the meds and then at 2 am they came in to tell me that my contractions were too close together to have that dose. Things were happening.
In the morning, they came in about 5 to let me know I could go ahead and take a shower if I wanted too. They kept telling me that the things I had been feeling for weeks were contractions but so far they weren't strong enough to really do much. I couldn't believe I had been walking around for weeks with legit contractions. I thought they were Braxton Hicks. Who knew?
At 6 am they came in to get an IV started. It took two nurses and three sticks but eventually they got it going and they got the Pitocin going. It wasn't long at all before my doctor came in. I somehow managed to get the one doctor at the practice that I didn't really know because I had only seen once my whole pregnancy. I wasn't sure about things but she won me over quickly when she went ahead and broke my water at only 1 cm and a +2 station.
After my water was broken, things progressed pretty quickly. I asked for my epidural pretty early because I don't do pain and the guy was in there in no time. Unfortunately, he stuck my first one in a vein so he had to pull that out and start a second one. It wasn't painful but it was pretty hard to sit that straight and that still while having so many contractions. Not fun.
Things went so quickly after my epidural. My contractions were pretty consistent but everything was pretty manageable and I was so happy things were so different from E's delivery. Unfortunately they didn't stay that way.
I started to feel this insane pain in my tailbone. It came out of nowhere and it came fast and fierce. Every single time I had a contraction, it felt like my spine was fixing to shatter. It was by far the most intense pain I ever felt. I quickly felt the intense need to push so the nurse came to check me only to find that I was at a ten but he was still at a +2 station.
The pain was so bad that the anesthesiologist came back twice to up my epidural. It didn't touch it. I ended up with legs so numb that even after my delivery, the anesthesiologist was still in my room even going so far as to hold a leg up for me because he was so worried I would do something to cause nerve damage. It was the weirdest feeling ever. I could barely feel my contractions but it wasn't touching the pain in my tailbone and spine.
The doctor came in to see what was going on and quickly determined his head was stuck on my tailbone and was hitting it every time I had a contraction. Her plan was to try and turn him during a contraction. By this point, the desire to push was so strong that I couldn't help but to push but every push brought that intense pain and made me back off.
It was awful. I was terrified that I wouldn't be able to push because the pain was psyching me out. I ended up with one nurse and B holding my legs, the doctor trying to turn him, and one nurse with a towel playing tug of war with me which was the only way I could think to push.
Eventually his head was off my tailbone and he moved down but then his poor shoulder got stuck. He had somehow switched to face up from his appointment where he was in the perfect position and he was just in a bad position. I was struggling so hard. Everyone was doing their best to cheer me on and encourage me but I have never felt so defeated. I really, really didn't think he was every going to come out.
The doctor ended up getting out the suction to help me. I could feel that he was right there but I could also tell by the faces looking back at me that it needed to happen quickly or we would be going another route. That I didn't want. So I gave it my all. I seriously thought my spine snapped as he finally came out and then things got super hazy.
He didn't make a sound. I could see B checking on him and the doctor quickly assessing him, but I was out. I couldn't even focus. I just stared into space. Finally, he gasped and they handed him to me. He still hadn't cried but he quickly made himself at home on my chest and locked eyes with me. I was so spent I could barely get my hands on him.
Fortunately it didn't take me long to come back. And it didn't take him long to perk up. He only got a 7 on his apgar and he had some serious bruising on his head, but he is absolute perfection. I ended up with a pretty fierce episiotomy but I didn't feel that at all thanks to the super, super numb legs. It wasn't long though, til my epidural wore off and I immediately felt better. Well, except for my tail bone. Pretty sure that thing is still bruised.
But he's here. He's perfection. And he has been the best baby ever. We are so in love.