hardest thing ever.

Mr. Perfect and I didn't live together before we got married. We actually didn't even live in the same town until we got married. In college, I lived in different apartments with different girls. There was always someone around, someone to watch TV with, someone's clothes to borrow.

There were the not so good roommates. I had one who always had people over. Every single night. They slept in our living room. Usually on the floor. They would leave food out everywhere. Needless to say, I didn't live with her long.

Then there was my roommate that would "disappear". No lie. For days on end she would be gone. We didn't have any classes together so I don't even know if she went to class. She'd show up every now and then and then usually sleep for 3 days straight. Three days in which I had to tiptoe around as to not wake her up. Who sleeps on a Friday night at 6?!?

After college, the little brother and I actually got an apartment together. Living with a boy was pretty low key. Except that he thought he needed to carpet our bathroom floor with his boxers. I did not get that. But he did that when we lived with the parents too, so I was used to it. The Marine (little brother) and I hung out with the same people, worked together, and lived together. Good thing we got along amazingly well. And that our work schedules were opposite, so sometimes we got a break from each other. I loved living with him. There was always something going on, he could cook (yay!), and I could clean. It worked.

Then I got married. I actually cried the day I moved out of my apartment. I remember sobbing to my Mom about how I had to move and "live with a boy!!". I know that I was living with my brother, but it's different.

That first night, I could not sleep. We were in our own house, in our own bed, and he wouldn't quit snoring. I could not figure out how I was going to ever get used to sleeping with that noise. I must have slept on the couch most nights those first couple of months. Then I got used to it. Now I can't sleep without him there, or if I do, it's not a good sleep.

Next thing I noticed about living with my boy was his stuff. It was everywhere. Stuff I couldn't even figure out what it was. I put most of it "away" which usually ended up badly. Apparently he had meant to leave it in the middle of the floor. Gah. I noticed one day that I a bra of mine came out of the dryer with a bunch of white t-shirts and socks. I almost had a meltdown. Didn't he know?!?!?

Boxers still end up on my bathroom floor. Sometimes bras still end up in the dryer. My kitchen counter at times is littered with "stuff". Our coffee table occasionally ends up becoming a gun workshop of sorts. It's a constant work in progress trying to mesh two ways of thinking into one house. He still doesn't load the dishwasher "right". He would probably say I don't. He would be wrong.

Becoming a household of our own was a process, but now we work perfectly. He cooks, I clean. I do the laundry, he wears the clothes. It works. There are still days that I look at something and am baffled as to how it makes sense to him. I will never understand clothes in front of the hamper or leaving the sleep machine on all day. But I wouldn't change him for the world. It might have been the hardest thing ever meshing our two worlds, but it's been ridiculously well worth it.

Weekend Wrap-Up

Can I start this with the fact that Mr. Perfect and I were able to drive around this afternoon with the windows down? Or the fact that I walked outside this morning and could very faintly smell Fall?!? Can we talk about the fact that in two weeks my Dawgs will be back out on the field?! Can I just get a huge shout out that Fall is right around the corner?!?

Ok. Probably not. Because I live in the Deep South where we like to keep it in the upper 90's til about October. But for a minute today, it felt like fall and I did a small little happy dance in the front yard.

I would like to pretend that Summer is my favorite holiday, but honestly, my heart belongs to fall. The cute clothes, the boots, deep jewel tones (my fave), football games (equal opportunity college and high school lover), oyster roasts, bonfires.. oh the list goes on for days.

Plus this fall, some of my very best friends will be having their first babies. How exciting! This past weekend I went to a shower for my friend KW whose due in September with a little girl. It's crazy to think of us crazy girls just a few short summers ago living it up with drinks in hand, and now we're all married and they're popping out babies. So exciting...

Cute little KW in Gabby's nursery


KW, our friend KP, and I in Gabby's nursery. KP is due in January with her first. She finds out Tuesday what she's having. I can't wait! I'm thinking girl. Mr. Perfect thinks boy.

It kind of looks like Babies-R-Us threw up behind us...


My little pregos! Aren't they precious?!


After the shower, I came home and crashed. I woke up for a bit to watch "New In Town" with the hubs. I thought it was cute. He thought it was predictable. Renee Zellweger has no eyes... Am I right?

Lots going on this week. We're headed back to the doc on Tuesday so keep us in your prayers. I'll be sharing what's going on with us soon, just know that I'm on a lot of medication which makes me feel really, really loopy and tired. I've fallen asleep on my laptop twice today just trying to clean out my Reader! Plus we have a birthday in the house this week. Stay tuned!

Hope you all had a great weekend and have a good week! I'm trying to get better about checking in!!

bone tired.

I'm seriously beginning to think that someone is sneaking into my house every night and pumping me full of sedatives. Sneaky little sucker. How are you getting past the dogs?

So sorry for the lack of blogging lately, but I am spent. I come home from work and collapse. I'm beginning to think the amount of medications I'm taking is definitely catching up with me. My poor husband is doing EVERYTHING around the house. What a good little housewife I have. =) I wonder how much longer this will keep up. I should probably stop going to bed at eight. I have no idea what's going on in my house.

In other news, I actually got up and went to church on Sunday, and what a good thing I did. The whole sermon was on worrying, something I know a lot about. Mr. Perfect actually leaned over at the beginning of the sermon and said "you should be paying attention to this!". Thanks bud. I got it. But it did reitterate my thoughts on how I should not be worrying about this stuff in my life, that it needs to all be given to Him. Still working on that...

Hope everything is going well with you ladies! I'm still reading y'alls blogs even if I don't have much to say right now!!

My Top 5

Last night Mr. Perfect and I drove out to my best friend's new house in the country. It was quite the drive, so it gave us plenty of time to talk about the really important stuff in life.

You know, arguments over whose better Pink Floyd or Metallica, why the Beatles' are still the most amazing musical group ever, and why my Top 5 list of Best Songs Ever is way better than his.

The boy doesn't like the Beatles. Or Pink Floyd. I can't even fathom that.

So with that, I bring you my Top 5, ok.. top 7, because I just couldn't get it down to 5. These are songs that I can not get enough of. Ever. If they come on the radio, I will instantly be in a better mood. They're good for the soul. They're therapeutic.

In no particular order (because I am way too indecisive for that), my list.

1. "Imagine" by John Lennon. I'm actually going to go out on a limb and say definitively this is my number 1. Hands down, I don't think there's a better song out there. Especially with such a great message.

2. "California Dreaming" by the Mamas and the Papas. I love this song. I think it goes back to my deep seated love for Cali. I was born there, but left when I was still really young, however, a huge part of my heart is in the state where my parents met and had me. Plus, I do love the drama surrounding this group.

3. "Hotel California" by the Eagles. Great, great music. Not such a great story, but hey, we all have our demons. The Eagles are awesome, but this is by far their best song. My opinion..

4. "Daydream Believer" by the Monkees. This song ALWAYS puts a smile on my face. Growing up, I had the Monkee's tape, and I played it nonstop. I actually still have it. I only play "Daydream Believer" now though. It's really hard to find a song on a tape... Remember the Dawson's Creek episode where Joey and Dawson sang this on karaoke? I do. I loved it.

5. "Maggie May" by Rod Stewart. I secretly love Rod Stewart. I don't know if it's his fierce mullet, or lack of stature, but I love him. I cried when he sang "Maggie May" on Idol. Cried. I was so glad they didn't let any of the contestants sing with him. I mean, really, who can sing with Rod Stewart?!

6. "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zepelin. Okay, so I realize it's about suicide, but I LOVE this song. The music is amazing. Plus it gives me chills, it's that good.

7. "American Girl" by Tom Petty. Feel good song alert. I like to pretend he wrote this about me. I cannot believe I just admitted that, but, what are you going to do?! Listen to this song, you can't help but feel good when you do!

So that's my list. I told you I couldn't keep my Top 5 under 5. My bad. What are some of your favorites? Just so you know, my husband hates my list. It's always a good time at my house when I blare my music. =)

worry-wart

I am a worrier by nature.

No joke, my parents used to say that I came out of the womb with a furrowed brown and a fist under my chin a la The Thinker.

I will worry about anything. You got something you need to worry about? Don't you bother your pretty little head with that; I'll do it for you.

The main problem?

I almost never worry about things I can change.

I worry about the big things; war, being bombed (seriously), the end of the world, not having time to do stuff before the end comes.

I told you. I am an irrational worrier.

So put me in a situation like the one we are currently in with our miscarriages and I worry about 95% of the time. The other 5% I'm eating, cleaning, or running. I don't worry at those times. =) I hate this about me. I'm like a duck. On the surface all is calm, but under the surface, everything's going a mile a minute. Love that analogy.

However, not right now. For the first time in my life, I'm okay with where we're at. I'm doing everything I possibly can. I take my medication (when the pharmacy gets it to me!), I eat (almost) like I should, and I go to all my appointments and let the vampires doctors take all the blood they need. I can't do anything else.

Then it got me thinking about how incredibly blessed I am. I have an amazing husband. He makes me laugh until I cry, he supports me in everything, and he loves me. I have the best family, that call to check in on you and randomly send me cards just to say they love me. I have a home. I have the best dogs. I have a job. My husband has a job. We want for nothing.

If someday, God decides that on top of all that, we should be parents, then I'll praise Him for that new blessing. But if He chooses, it's not time for us yet, then I'll praise Him for everything else He's already given me.

Worrying about all this is pointless. So I'm giving it all to Him. He's more than willing to take it all from me.

Plus it might give me wrinkles. I am not okay with that just yet. Or ever.

Thank you for all that are praying and thinking of us. It truly is helping to keep me calm...

rainy saturday random thoughts...

It is raining. Again. It has rained basically every afternoon this week. What is the deal? Is this Florida?!

Lately I've been having to get my medication filled at the pharmacy in the hospital. I prefer the Walgreens by my house. They are friendly, efficient, and always have my prescriptions ready when they say they will. The hospital pharmacy? Not so much. Last week Mr. Perfect and I drove all the way to the other side of town to pick up a medication. They didn't have it. So we tracked the 20 or so minutes back home, through traffic, with no medication. I called the doctor's office the next morning to get them to call it in again. They did. Turns out it was on the pharmacy voicemail and they hadn't checked it all day. Not my problem. Check your voicemail. Last night? Same exact thing. I got there at just after five. Nothing ready for me. These are meds that I HAVE to have. That I needed that night. They can't find it anywhere. Funny how five people came in after me, all who had left voicemails, and they couldn't find any one's prescription. The staff there is the most incompetent group of people ever. I never did get my meds last night. Not a happy camper.`

Last Sunday when I got home from my soccer game, the Mr. had completely redone the living room. It's taken a week but it's growing on me. I'll have to get some pictures and put them on here. He really did manage to rearrange the furniture to where the whole room seems a whole lot more open. It really does a lot for the room.

How am I just now discovering the Tori Spelling tv show?!? I absolutely love it! Her children are complete dolls and I really like her and her husband. I'm surprised by that. I used to think she was super annoying.

I'm reading 'The Time Traveler's Wife' again to get ready for the movie. I really cannot wait for it to come out. Of course I also said that about 'Harry Potter' and 'My Sister's Keeper' and have yet to see either one. Guess I'll be waiting for NetFlix!

Things in our little household are still very much up in air. We're doing great, but are still in need of serious prayer. Thanks for checking in with us. I will definitely blog more when I can. Have a great weekend all!

Weekend Wrap-Up

Ok. So maybe I'm older than I would like to think I am. Because this weekend almost put me in the grave.

Saturday morning I got up early and headed with a friend of mine up to Hilton Head for a soccer tournament. Thought it would be a nice day for a tourney. Weather (dot) com was predicting highs in the 80s.

Weather (dot) com is a nasty, dirty liar. It was around a 100 degrees on Saturday. With a 100% humidity.

Three soccer games later, played with some super *cranky (not the word I want to use.. ahem..) girls, in the heat, in the rain, I was not a happy camper. I signed up for the tournament to have FUN. Not because I thought Mia Hamm was going to show up and wisk me away to play for the National Team. Apparently some of the other players didn't get that memo. You can ask the super bruises on my stomach in the shapes of elbows.

But I digress..

Saturday night, I dragged my bruised, battered, exhausted body back home.

I know I'm a drama queen, but I was TIRED!!!

Sunday morning I swore I had been hit by a car. My back hurt, my abs hurt, my arms hurt. My freakin' pinky toes hurt for crying out loud. I don't know how I dragged myself back to South Carolina, but I did.

I'm so glad I did. We played much better, everyone was in better moods, and I got to have a great lunch. I could barely move Monday and I'm rocking some serious tan lines, but price you got to pay right?!

My friend, L and I between games.


Our team.


Sunday afternoon, Mr. Perfect and I got to keep my goddaughter for a while. She definitely kept us on our toes, but we had so much fun with her!! She's the sweetest thing! Our cat doesn't think so, but what does he know?

She was trying to give Lacy a toy. Lacy was too fascinated with her to care about anything else.


Melt my heart!



Told you Lacy was obsessed with her.




She was obsessed with Ace. He was not a fan of hers.


Other than the fact that I could barely move all weekend, it was a pretty nice one. Thank goodness, because this week is turning into a doozy. We got one heck of a curveball thrown at us on Monday. Nothing we can't handle, but just pray for us and our little journey through the entire medical journal to try and have a child. I'll give more details when I can, but thanks in advance. Hope you guys had a great weekend! My blogging might be sketchy for a few days, but I'll be checking in!!