Monday, August 10, 2009

worry-wart

I am a worrier by nature.

No joke, my parents used to say that I came out of the womb with a furrowed brown and a fist under my chin a la The Thinker.

I will worry about anything. You got something you need to worry about? Don't you bother your pretty little head with that; I'll do it for you.

The main problem?

I almost never worry about things I can change.

I worry about the big things; war, being bombed (seriously), the end of the world, not having time to do stuff before the end comes.

I told you. I am an irrational worrier.

So put me in a situation like the one we are currently in with our miscarriages and I worry about 95% of the time. The other 5% I'm eating, cleaning, or running. I don't worry at those times. =) I hate this about me. I'm like a duck. On the surface all is calm, but under the surface, everything's going a mile a minute. Love that analogy.

However, not right now. For the first time in my life, I'm okay with where we're at. I'm doing everything I possibly can. I take my medication (when the pharmacy gets it to me!), I eat (almost) like I should, and I go to all my appointments and let the vampires doctors take all the blood they need. I can't do anything else.

Then it got me thinking about how incredibly blessed I am. I have an amazing husband. He makes me laugh until I cry, he supports me in everything, and he loves me. I have the best family, that call to check in on you and randomly send me cards just to say they love me. I have a home. I have the best dogs. I have a job. My husband has a job. We want for nothing.

If someday, God decides that on top of all that, we should be parents, then I'll praise Him for that new blessing. But if He chooses, it's not time for us yet, then I'll praise Him for everything else He's already given me.

Worrying about all this is pointless. So I'm giving it all to Him. He's more than willing to take it all from me.

Plus it might give me wrinkles. I am not okay with that just yet. Or ever.

Thank you for all that are praying and thinking of us. It truly is helping to keep me calm...

19 comments:

Christin said...

Great post!!! Sometimes I have to take a step back and realize how blessed I am, too.

short southern momma said...

I agree, Great post and oh, so true! Hope all your dreams come true! = )

In this wonderful life... said...

this is a good attitude to have! you are doing good! saying prayers! love!

In this wonderful life... said...

ps - im a worry wort too...on this inside! thanks for all of your sweet comments :)

d.a.r. said...

Praying for you, but it already sounds like you have an amazing attitude. I am such a worrier too, it's hard to overcome!

Naturally Caffeinated Family said...

I'm the same way and have been able to overcome it and completely trust God in some situations, but def a hard thing to do all the time! I love your attitude and I will definitely be praying girl!!

Saskia said...

I'm thinking of you lovely lady. Your attitude and acceptance is really wonderful - I wish I could be more accepting and worry less too.

Positivity can make the world of difference... when we smile the world smiles with us too. Hopefully your positive attitude will result in happiness and health :)

Saskia x

The Pink Chick said...

I am an irrational worrier too!!! My motto is "Let Go and Let God". I try to live by it, and keep my worries under control.

I love this post! You have such a sweet spirit and positive attitude! You are in my thoughts and prayers!

Practically Perfect... said...

I'm such a worrier, too. You can bet that if there's something that I can't control, I'll be worrying about it!

Jennifer said...

I am so glad you feel this way! It is so hard to let things go sometimes and truly just be content and happy with where you are at the moment, but when you do it is such a release. Waiting was our topic of small group last night! I thought about you at many times through the lesson. I am so ecstatic to hear that you are worry-free! I am going to keep on praying for that baby though :)

jen + ryan said...

this is a great post...

Lindsey said...

I am a worrier too, great post!!

SassyEngineer said...

Oh - I can completely identify! I'm a huge worrier, and irrational. I think I blogged about it before, but I will feel a bump on my leg and just be sure it is cancer. In fact, I think I have worried about having a brain tumor for probably 12 years now, and one would think I would have died from it by now! I have really had to struggle and work on only worrying about things I can change and changing them, but then I have to give the rest to God. I still struggle, but somedays I win those little victories. It sounds like you are winning too- and I know God will bless you abundantly in many ways :)

It Is Everlasting said...

Oh honey I can't imagine what it is like to go through this time but I am so proud of you for leaning on the Lord. I am a worrier as well and I know it is SO much easier to say the scripture (do not worry about anything, but in prayer and petition...etc...) than to truly hold it in your heart and act it out. You are a strong, wonderful woman.

Jennifer said...

Worrying is a way of life, but it is definitely better to just had it over some times, even if its hard to let go of the feeling of being in control.

Megan said...

It sounds like you are in a really good place right now, and I am happy for you, I know this is so hard and is So easy to just sit and worry about but you have such a good way of looking at it.

Annie said...

what a great post!
i love your positive attitude :)
you sound so happy and it seems like you have a wonderful life!

...Mrs. Southern Bride... said...

Wonderful post. I love your attitude, I need that in my life right about now.

MissJody said...

I'm with ya girlfriend!
I worry alot...alot.
I feel so blessed in our lives also.

You'll be fine. Sounds like you take such wonderful care of yourself and you family and your husband is right there. Just take a deep breath and enjoy this time.

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