me: 10 months post-partum

I do multiple updates a day week on Baby Girl, but I don't really update too much on where I am since becoming a mother almost eleven months ago. Since once upon a time, this used to be a blog about an adult girl and not a baby girl, I thought I'd give you an update on me.

First of all, the physical.

I am back to pre-pregnancy weight. Finally. Don't think I look the same, because I most definitely don't, but I weigh the same. My hips are wider, parts ride lower (ahem..), and I'm softer, but I'm working on all of that.

I've been getting out and doing some running, but I had to relax on myself with the working out thing. I'm not going to be able to work out every day. Not with the schedule Mr. P works and having BG all the time, but I make it work. Most days, I run with the little. Occasionally I get to go run by myself and I freaking love it. Running is still my release. It's important that I make that time.

Now for the emotional. Let's get all Dr. Phil for a bit.

This is going to sound so obvious, but it blew my mind and sometimes still does how much I love my daughter. She is the light of my life. I look at her everyday and my heart nearly bursts with love for her. She's more than I could ever deserve.

I'm tougher than I even realized. I survived a month of no sleep. I survived a baby that wanted to eat 27/7. I survived a baby that cried the entire first month of her life almost. I survived 45 hours of labor and the residual effects of that. It dang near killed me, but I survived.

I miss some of the little things from pre-baby. I miss going out with friends on a whim, or going to grab a late dinner with the hubs (we eat at five thirty now people. With the seniors). I really miss sleeping in or spending a whole entire day laying on the couch.

I miss being "carefree". My thoughts are constantly on her. Every action I take, I worry about how it will affect her. Every night out, I have in the back of my mind a running worry of how she's doing and how I miss her. I can't turn that off. I'm someone's Mom now. I will never be number one again.

I still love watching tv, surfing the internet, playing with my dogs, sports, running, a cold beer, and shopping. Although all are done in great moderation now.

I have very little patience now. I tend to get ran over by people because I can be too nice and put up with too much. Not anymore. My time away from Baby Girl is too precious to spend it with people who don't make me the priority that I make them.

In the same respect, I've realized that those true friends that I do have, I want to keep around. That actually takes quite a bit of effort seeing as how most of us have jobs, kids, husbands, etc. But it's worth it. I love a phone chat or a night out with my girls. I still loves a night spent talking about clothes, work, and things we liked before we were Moms.

I've had a hard time staying "me" and not becoming absorbed in "Mom". Not going to lie. It's hard to make sure that I still get "me time", the hubs still gets his time, and Baby Girl gets her. I still don't quite have that figured out, but I'm getting there. I'm also remembering that before her, I was a pretty awesome person. I refuse to let that girl disappear. That's harder than I thought it would be..

Most importantly, I am happier than I have ever been in my life. I'm more content than ever. I am one hundred percent positive that what I'm doing right now, being Baby Girl's mom, is exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. She's amazing. Life with her, is beyond words. I am so, so happy right where I am.

I am more in love with Mr. Perfect than ever. Parenthood is freaking hard. Becoming parents was hard enough, but becoming a Mom and Dad has been ridiculous. We have fought, bickered, cried, and made up more times than I count in the last 10 1/2 months. But at the same time, I would not want to be sharing this moment in time with anyone else. He is the best Dad. It melts my heart to see Baby Girl light up when he walks in the room. Seeing how much he loves her, makes me love him that much more.

In a nutshell, I am doing excellent. I think I'm managing pretty well. I've got an amazing kid. She sleeps well, plays hard, eats like a champ, and laughs 98% of the time. She's happy and well cared for. So is Mama. ;) Life ten months post partum, is pretty awesome.