Monday, May 9, 2011

5 Points

You know how every once in a while you hear a sermon that you know you were just meant to hear at that very minute?

Yea. That happened yesterday?

I wasn't having the greatest day yesterday. My feelings were hurt and I was tired and I was bummed that my husband had to work all day. Regardless, I put my big girl pants on and got BG and I ready for church. As I was sitting there listening to an incredible sermon on mothering, I felt like it was just the preacher and I in that room. That he was talking to just me because every single thing he said was hitting home for me. Everything.

Then I realized with one quick look around the room, that what he was saying was true for every mother in that room. The nods, the tears, the laughs, were coming from every woman who had stood up five minutes ago to acknowledge that she was a mother. It wasn't just me that felt the things he was describing, it was every mother there.

I don't know what I thought mothering was going to be. Honestly, I'm not too sure that I gave it any thought past birthing this precious babe and bringing her home to gaze at lovingly. And while the loving gazes did happen, so did the endless nights of crying, the feelings of loneliness, and the feelings of being completely overwhelmed.

I've been struggling lately with my faith and raising my child. I wonder every day how I'm going to raise a godly young woman in a society that tells her that is not cool and not the way to go. I wonder how to be a godly wife and mother so that she can see that through me. It's hard. It's hard to praise God constantly when mothering her everyday kicks my tail. When at the end of the day, the last thing I want to do is sing His praises because I'm too tired to talk.

Our preacher pointed out yesterday five things that every mother needs to know. They stuck with me so much that I wrote them down and took tons of notes to share with y'all. Every one of them touched on my deepest fears of being a mother which I'll also share. If you've never read anything else I've written, I hope you'll read this.

1: The Lord Is With You.
Basically what he said was that as alone as a Mother can feel at times, you're never ever completely alone because the Lord is with you. I'm not going to lie, I struggle with this one big time. I'm not sure that our husbands completely get it. Maybe not yet, not when the kids are this small. When my husband gets home in the evening, he wants to sit down and chill out. Or cook (he loves it, it's his release) dinner by himself in the kitchen. However, by five o' clock, I am for real jonesing for some adult conversation or better yet? someone to take the twenty six pound child off my hip for five minutes while I go lock myself somewhere quiet. The first few months of BG's life were so isolating for me. Every night, it was just me and her. Mr. P had gone back to work and was sleeping at night to get ready for work. Then during the day, we'd come home from work where I spent as much time as possible with her while he got dinner ready or what not. He just didn't get that I just needed him, to sit with me, not clean or cook or whatever. And for some reason, I never told him that. Even with him in the house, I was so lonely it hurt. Tell your husbands ladies. Tell them what you need. Next time? I won't feel like I have to do it all. I'll share the load, because he can handle it. And I can't handle not letting him.

2. Do Not Be Afraid.
Let's be honest, this mothering thing? Freaking hard work. And terrifying. Every single decision that we make regarding our child can be scary. Because we let it be that way. We're terrified that they aren't sleeping enough (or in my case that she sleeps too much), that they aren't eating enough, that we aren't feeding them the right food, that we're not using the right equipment. And honestly? Most of that comes to comparing ourselves to other Mom's. They breastfeed, I don't. They have the top of the line stroller and we don't. Stop doing that! As Mom's we should be building each other up. Not tearing each other down.

We're terrified our kids are going to get hurt. Uh duh. It's going to happen. The other day, BG decided to dive over the top of her PBK chair into a bucket of books. I just knew she lost an eye when she came up screaming bloody murder. Amazingly, just a small scratch (too close to her eye for my comfort though). I immediately felt like it was my fault. Why did I buy that chair? Why did I look away for two seconds??

That is so dumb. She's a kid. She's like a magnet for disaster. I better get used to it now.

I can't keep her safe forever. I can just provide her the very best I can and pray that God does the rest.

3. He/She Will Be Great.
The great thing is, her life is already mapped out for her. The first few years of her life (preacher said around the first ten to fifteen), I am in control. It's my job to lay out the ground rules of what I expect. I expect her to go to church, to read her Bible (duh, not now), to know God, to clean her room (again, later on), and to be a contributing member of our household. So while she's still young, I train her to do that. I lay out rules. But eventually, I will have to let go. It will be time for, as the preacher says, me to move from "control to influence". I lay the groundwork, she becomes a great woman. What is so, so awesome is that He already has an AMAZING plan for her. He's had it from the minute He wove her together in my womb. She's going to be great. Because He has designed her that way. So cut yourselves some slack ladies. These kids are going to be great.

4. Nothing Is Impossible.
There are some days I get so overwhelmed that when she lays down or even quiets down for a second, I dissolve into tears. There are some days when I wake up and think of taking care of her all day, cleaning the house, doing the laundry, taking care of the animals, checking the bills and I would rather go back to sleep than get out of bed and deal with it. Sometimes it's just too much. What's so great is that I'm not alone and that nothing is impossible with Him. Nothing. Mom's get overwhelmed. Show me a Mom that says she doesn't and I'll show you a liar. Working moms, stay at home moms, it doesn't matter. It's hard. Sometimes we need a good ugly cry. Take that cry, but then remember, it's not impossible. We'll get through this.

5. I Am The Lord's Servant.
It all boils down to this doesn't it? My job right now is simple. I stay at home to raise my child. Who actually, isn't my child. Who is on loan to me to make her into an incredible woman. I have no other job that this. It is the most important thing I will ever do in my life. Baby Girl? she is my legacy. I am doing His work in raising her. Isn't that awesome? Isn't that such a huge privilege??

I needed to hear all of that yesterday. I also needed to put it on here to look at over and over because just because I know all this, doesn't mean I still won't struggle. When she wakes up from her nap, she may wake up with smiles or she may wake up in a mood and I may forget everything I just wrote as I struggle to just hang on til Mr. P gets home. There will be days where I will still feel all alone or where I'll still feel like I just don't measure up.

There will also be days where she's an angel and the sun shines every single time she smiles. Days where I get a shower before lunch and we play quietly and happily until Mr. P gets home and we all head to the park together before a delicious dinner.

The good thing is, no matter what type of day we have, I've got someone pretty awesome on my side. And so do you.

**I'm not linking to my church on here for privacy reasons. However, this sermon is online and if you would like to hear it (which I recommend), please email me and I'll be happy to send you a link to the page. Thanks!**


Mrs. Stethoscope said...

This is WONDERFUL thanks for posting!

Heather @ Mrs. Southern Bride said...

I need to have a copy of this for when my turn comes. I can only imagine how blessed your daughter is to have a come that cares so much!!

Suze said...

This is great girl! I will keep this for myself when my time comes but I would love to share the link with my sister if you can email it to me if at all possible. This is her first mothers day with her first child and i think she would enjoy this! thanks!!!!

Becca said...

Oh this is just a wonderful post and just what I needed to hear today. Thank you so much for sharing!

Ashley Paige said...

Thank you... more than I think you could ever know! ;) We all need to hear this sometimes. I've already saved this post as a "favorite place." Deep breaths... xo!

Ashley said...

I LOOOVED that!! Thank you so much for posting! That was so encouraging to me. : )

meghan said...

Thank you for sharing! Happy Mother's Day!

LG said...

I enjoyed that so much! Thanks for posting!

Day Old News said...

I'm not a mother, but I really appreciate the message! Happy belated Mother's Day.

amy (metz) walker said...

First of all, love this post.

Second, the fact that you are even aware enough to say this: "I wonder every day how I'm going to raise a godly young woman in a society that tells her that is not cool and not the way to go." makes me believe you are farther along than most in the game! You're a fantastic mom!

KM said...

Girl this is a GREAT post. I needed this SO bad tonight. I missed church on Sunday and I would love the link!!! Thanks for your post.


The Shabby Princess said...

This is just lovely! I'm not a mother, so, I don't know how all that feels--yet. Of course, I'm a worrier by nature, and, I'm already freaked out about making sure that I raise Godly children! But, then, then I look at my big sister, who has raised two amazing young women who are strong, beautiful, smart, and follow the Lord in all they do. They live in a day and age that I didn't--they have facebook and all kinds of other things, and they are doing so well.

And I know you are an amazing mother as well. With strength through Him, all things are possible :)

Legallyblondemel said...

Wonderfully put. Like that sermon you sat through, I found myself relating to all of this, like it was written for me :-).

Muffy said...

Wonderful post! I love it. Such a good message!


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