thirty

I need to start with a huge thank you to all those involved in 9/11 eleven years ago today. And that includes those whose involvement just began that day as they fought for America against the evil that attacked us. That includes the families of everyone involved. That includes the firefighters, the policemen, the military, and the everyday people who searched for months for survivors and worked to clean up the pieces. And mostly? I remember those who lost their lives today and their families. God Bless America..

So I turn thirty today. Thirty. Wow.

To be honest, I don't really feel thirty so I'm not sure how much I'm affected by it, but thirty is a bit intimidating no matter how one feels.

As thirty approached, we got hit with change, after change, after change which pretty much kept me from wallowing in the woe is me that is turning thirty. But now? Now that the dust has settled (a bit) and the house is quiet and Mr. P is back out at work, now it's hitting me.

Thirty. Wow.

Truth be told this being one of those "milestone" birthdays, it's easy to get a bit down as you think of where your life is compared to where you always thought it would be. Career wise, family wise, even home wise, I'm so not where I thought I would be.

The other day it started bothering me that I don't have a job that I love. That we don't currently own a home in a town we want to grow old in, that we haven't completed our family in the ways we thought we would back when we got married. It's easy to get a bit down when you think of it that way.

So since I'm not a fan at all of being down in the dumps, I quickly turned it around. I decided that thirty wouldn't be an "end" of sorts, but instead a beginning. A beginning of my "grown up life" if you will. Man, I remember when thirty was so old...

My ideas of what life would look like at thirty didn't really pan out, but there's so much I never could have imagined that has happened instead, all of which is pretty great.

I have an amazing husband. I thank God that our marriage is one that actually gets better year after year than one that fizzled out early. I have a husband who leads our family and works hard to take care of our family. A husband who loves his wife and daughter in ways that most families can only dream of having a father figure act.

I have the best daughter in the world. Seriously. She makes me unbelievably crazy most days, but she is the biggest blessing. She can make you smile at any moment of the day and her laugh is infectious. She has the biggest heart and already can tell when someone just "needs a hug". She's amazing. She is more than worth the wait and if I had to do it all again, I wouldn't change a thing as long as I get her.

I have an amazing family. Though they can make me crazier than a bat, they are supportive, they are loving, and they'll do whatever they can to help at any time.

I have awesome friends. Seriously, my friends rock (as evidenced by the blowing up my phone is doing today). They are always there to laugh with me, cry with me, or beat someone up for me (kidding). They are my soul sisters. We do life together.

I have an amazing community here in this blog world. You guys have become my rock. I tell my deepest thoughts and fears here and you guys always listen. Some of you have become my closest friends in real life too. I adore this community.

I have a roof over my head. I have food in my belly. I'm in good shape from running again. I have family that loves me. Friends that rock. In every thing that really matters, the first thirty years have been so good to me.

So yea.. it didn't all pan out like I thought it would by thirty. But the things that matter? they turned out better than I could have ever imagined. And that's what counts.

Plus, I've heard that thirty is actually pretty awesome (eighteen year old me doesn't believe that, but she's usually wrong). So bring it on thirty. It's time to tackle the things in life that need working on. I've already got it pretty great, here's to continue the improvements in the next decade.