project 365: week 33

WEEK 33
Sunday, August 12th: We headed to the park for a while and my little girl wanted nothing to do with the toddler side. She headed straight for the big kids part and spent the rest of the time jumping off of every surface she could find.
Monday, August 13th: Wearing her "straight jacket" and Daddy's hat. Slap styling she is.
Tuesday, August 14th: A very, very simple OOTD managed to make it on my Instagram. I am so not stylish. There won't be many of those posts.
Wednesday, August 15th: My very messy vanity while trying to get ready in the morning.
Thursday, August 16th: I told you I've been doing a lot of laundry. BG's bed is stripped far more often than it is made these days.
Friday, August 17th: My husband spoils me. I get breakfast before work every day. So lucky.
Saturday, August 18th: BG likes taking naps with her Mama. I like having this adorable little bed buddy. Double win.

words.

We are still in a state of limbo revolving the job situation. I'm way more calm than I figured I would be. Although maybe I'm more like a duck in the water; calm on the surface, but under the water those little feet are going fifty miles a minute.

Baby Girl has decided that taking her diaper off each night and peeing all over the place is the funnest thing since Chuck 'E Cheese. I disagree. It was kind of cute the very first night we walked in and found her naked waist down, but it's gotten less cute with every load of laundry we've had to do.

So I took matters into my own hands. I remembered how one of my blog friends cut the feet out of a pair of footed jammies and put them on backwards. So that's what we did.

She's actually pretty impressed with her "straight jacket". Mom of the year teaching her that huh? But so far so good. The laundry has taken a nose dive. Thank you Tom Cruise.

I turn 30 next month. I'd like to be all "I'm totally fine with aging" but then I'd be lying. I am freaking out. Of course with all this other fun stuff added in, it makes the freaking out about my age pretty minimal. Maybe we can skip my birthday this year and try it again next year?

I've been such a sucky friend lately. I've dodged phone calls and texts just because I can't even handle thinking about everything that's going on right now. But being a sucky friend won't help anything. I'm working on being more intentional in my friendships. You must be a good friend to have good friends. The older I get, the more I cherish my friendships and the more I realize they deserve the work they need to keep them going.

My sister-in-law is planning a wedding in May and it's giving me an itch to plan another wedding. I would totally do mine again. Although I wouldn't because I hated the whole process of planning but I would love to plan a wedding with the help of Pinterest and Etsy and all. We didn't have all that awesome stuff 7 1/2 years ago, or if we did, I didn't realize it. I can't wait to see what she pulls off. I'm loving her idea boards already.

Thank God I got back into running. Our strict budget isn't alcohol friendly and I need a stress reliever right now. Running is free. And is also doing amazing things to my legs. I'll take it.

so fast.

Last night when I was laying in bed, I felt it.

All of a sudden as I thought about my sweet girl laying in her room across the hall my arms got heavy and I had the sudden urge to get up and hold her. My arms literally ached to hold her.

I didn't get up and get her though because I'm no fool and know that would have resulted in a way too late at night party, but it did make me a bit sad. I racked my brain for a second and could not remember the last time I just sat and held her.

And then there was a knot the size of Texas in my throat as I was taken back to when she was a newborn and would nuzzle into my neck to sleep. I could literally smell that precious newborn smell. It felt like just yesterday that my child was that small, that fragile.

Did I hold her enough? Did I take enough time just to sit with her and just be?

August is a hard month for me. My first four pregnancies were all due in August which always brings up lots of "what if" feelings. August is also the month I found out I was pregnant with BG which brings things all sorts of full circle and does take the sting out a bit.
When I found out I was pregnant with BG, I vowed that I would appreciate every single second because of how long I had waited on her. I would appreciate every single midnight feeding, every load of laundry, every dirty diaper.

Then she came, and I'd be lying if I said that was the case. More than once I wondered what I had done to my life as she screamed for the third hour in a row at two am. More than once I wished she would just let me put her down to get some rest, or do a load of laundry, or just freaking pee.

The most overused piece of advice I hear regarding parenting is to just enjoy it because it goes so fast. I can't tell you how many times I rolled my eyes after hearing that, because, duh, but oh my gosh y'all; it really does go so, so fast.
Have I soaked it in enough? Have I documented enough? Am I going to remember it all?

Probably not. To all three. But I had no idea.. No idea it would go so fast.

There are so many little things that I just want to bottle up and keep to pull out to remember about her. About how she says "it's okay" all the time and at completely inopportune moments. She kicks you in the face? you get a pat and and "it's okay Mommy". Whatever kiddo.

How when she fake laughs she throws her head back and closes her eyes so tight they disappear. How she almost always puts her shoes on the wrong feet. How she rubs your hair and say "you awright Mommy?". How she wants to jump off of every surface. How she throws her hands up and says "tada!" multiple times a day.
Maybe I should have taken more time to just sit with her when she was little. Who knows? I do know that the times I did are engrained in my memory forever. And that on nights like last night when it's just overwhelming me how big she is, I can go back in my head and feel her snuggled into my neck and can smell that sweet smell. I do realize that someday, in my head, I'll be traveling back to when she was two and feeling nostalgic for these days.

And because it really is going so, so fast, that time will probably be tomorrow. At least to this Mom it will feel that way.

wordless wednesday

AKA time to overload you with more pictures of my kid eating an ice-cream cone. Real thought provoking stuff happening over here folks.

Savannah (recap) (day 2)

I'm finding my way to the other side of a bombshell so I'm finally ready to sit down and do some updating. So here goes. Nothing I like more than being a month behind on the blog.

::Sigh::

You can catch up on DAY 1 of this trip here.

I took an insane amount of pictures while we were there (shocker) so I think I'll keep the words short and let the pictures do most of the talking.

Besides, we really didn't do much. A lot of waiting around on the people with the new baby (grr), a lot of boiled peanut eating, a lot of watching Baby Girl play, a lot of laying around, and a lot of just good, 'ol lazy family fun.

Waiting on AK to wake up. We did a lot of that...

Days spent lazing around on the back porch are just about my idea of heaven. Not even a little bit kidding.

My Papa's neighbors are two of my favorite people on this planet. It's been a hard year for them too. It is so good to see these laughs.


There's a water park that opened downtown a while ago that we had never been too. One of the main things I wanted to do while we were there was take BG down there. Well, we eventually made it. Not when I had planned but she got to go and she loved it. A little bit hesitant at first but then she was full speed ahead.

I do love that little grin...

She even managed to get her uncle out there with her.

I think it's safe to say, the splash park was a major hit. For Baby Girl and Uncle Marine.

UM and Kiki wanted ice-cream while we were down there, so Mr. Perfect walked with them to get the little one a cone of her own. Proof she loved the splash pad? we had to drag her away for ice cream. That doesn't happen.


After she was completely soaked and all sugared up, we changed clothes and headed out for dinner with some of our best friends. It's quite a different scene now; all of us married and three little girls along for the ride, but it's still so much fun to be with these people. I adore my friends.


We ended the night with some play time and drinks at KK's house. I never want these nights to end. I so miss these people.


Such a good day and night. Super full, but so fun.

Total picture overload I know, but I can't help it.