change is in the air...

Ok. I'll admit it. I am not a fan of change. Not big changes. They scare me. They tend to be okay after the fact, but the whole process leading up to the "change"; terrifies me.

And there's a pretty big change on the horizon for our little household.

Let me wax poetic for a second, because if this pregnancy has done one thing, it has made me emotional.

While I cannot, repeat, CANNOT wait to meet my little, perfect angel, I cannot help but be a bit sad by the change in the dynamic of mine and Mr. Perfect's relationship. Sigh...


It's been over 5 years, just the two of us. Over that time we've fallen into quite the little routine and I happen to LOVE it. I love lazy nights curled up on the couch watching tv, I love that we never eat anywhere besides our laps on the couch, that we prefer to eat Mexican every night instead of saving up to go someplace "nice", and the fact that we might love our animals a bit too much.



I adore this man. He makes me laugh until I can't breathe, makes me see red when he gets me angry, but most of all, makes me feel more loved than I ever have in my life. I'll admit it. I'm pretty good at playing the "child" in our relationship, but it's because I know he will always take care of me. I love feeling taken care of. Love it.



Mr. Perfect is my best friend. He's my soulmate and I thank God every day for blessing me with him. I love our relationship. I love how we laugh til we cry, we bicker, we argue and we get over it in 5 seconds. (Well sometimes.. I can hold a pretty fierce grudge...) I guess I'm just nervous about the change our relationship is fixing to take. You know, when we have to be grown ups and responsible for another human being.

Gulp.



I will say one thing about how long it's taken us to become parents; it has given us the chance to grow and learn to love one another in ways I didn't think possible. Over the past 5 years we've been through A LOT. A lot of heartbreak, a lot of good times, a lot of tears, and whole lot of laughs. We've gotten Saved since we got married, we've buried family members, lost our babies, and in the process figured out how to be best friends and each others biggest supporters. Honestly? Sometimes I feel like it's me and him against the world. And I'm completely cool with that.



So yea.. I'm a little nervous about how our relationship is fixing to change to see what dynamic it's fixing to take, but at the same time, I can't wait to see this man become a father. Somehow I know that the love he gives me is not going to diminish, but instead grow and change in ways I can't wait to see. And the love he's fixing to give his daughter? Wow. I can't believe God chose me to be a part of this huge blessing...