a year ago...

It's been one year.

A year ago I was at work and just knew I was pregnant. I was making my coworker crazy worrying about it, so at lunch we drove to the drugstore and picked up a test.

I think we all know what it said.

I had the mother of all panic attacks. I called Mr. Perfect absolutely hysterical. It wasn't time for us to be pregnant. We weren't supposed to try til September. We were being "safe".

Well God had different plans.

Our lives are completely changed. She is the best thing that has ever happened to our family. She makes everything that we went through to get her absolutely worth it. She makes every loss, every shot, every scare, every doctors appointment, okay in my book. I would go through everything, all the learning, all the heartbreak, everything; for her.

I never really "got" it. When mother's talked about the love for a child, I thought "well, I love my dog that much". I couldn't fathom this love they spoke of.

I totally get it now.

I will never stop thanking God for her. I don't know why we were chosen to be her parents, but I praise Him everyday for choosing us.

One year ago we got a notice that it was time to grow up. That it was no longer about us. That someone else would forever come first.

It's been the best year of my life.

I'm more tired than I ever thought I could be. I drink more coffee than any one person should. I'm wearing the exact same clothes over and over because I spend my money on her now. I'm a different person than I was a year ago and I am so glad.

Because this new person is the Mommy to the sweetest little girl. I still can't believe I got so lucky.