Thursday, June 30, 2011

tidbits.

I'll admit, when it comes to blogging, I've got nothing lately. There is so much going on and so much I want to say but when I sit down, nothing. Birds chirping. And I don't mean the ones currently taking up residence in my fireplace.

Let's not even talk about that.

I'm back at work part time. This decision did not come easily, and quite honestly, I'm still trying to process how I feel about this. I went back Monday and Mr. P stayed home with the little all day. I was actually fine. I enjoyed getting up and putting on real clothes and having adult conversation all day. It was great. Plus, I knew she was just hanging out with her Dad. That night, as I packed her for daycare the following day, I was a disaster. I could not stop crying. I bawled for hours and hours (seriously, til 2 am- freak). It was awful. But I survived.

My anxiety is better about the situation. Meh. Like I said, I'm still processing my feelings on this new development.

My first photo shoot was awesome. It was for two kids and was difficult and so easy all at the same time. I struggled some with getting shots of the two of them together (they were NOT having it), but got some fantastic shots of each of them separate. They were really sweet kids, so that helped.

BG has somehow lost the ability to say "block" and now says "c%ck" over and over. Which just makes me laugh hysterically leading her to laugh hysterically and do it more. Good times. Can't wait for that one to come up in the church nursery.

My Grandma has cancer. Just typing that out hurt my heart and I'm not really ready to deal with this. She has a long, hard road ahead of her. Please keep her in your prayers as well as the rest of this as we try to figure out what steps we take next.

So that's sort of what's going on here. Not going to lie, I've been pretty down in the dumps lately. When I'm down, I just can't deal with blogging, or the internet, or pretty much anything so I just kind of stay away. I'm still reading off and on so please don't think I'm not "there", I just need some time to deal with some things.

17 comments:

Suze said...

Oh sweet blog friendvmy heart aches for you will be keeping you and the family in my prayers! Please let me know if I can do anything at all!

Jillian said...

Praying for you!!

Heather said...

Sorry to hear what's going on. I'm praying for you and your family too. Day care will be good for BG though. The boys are at a day camp all this week at their grandparents. I miss them terribly, but I know they are developing and learning all kinds of new stuff.

K said...

It seems like there is a lot of hard stuff going around lately. Don't know what it is about it all coming in gigantic waves. Sending thoughts and prayers to your family through this difficult time. And if at any time you feel yourself getting down, just hold up a block and ask BG what it is. I'm pretty much peeing my pants thinking about it!

Lucy Marie said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandma - will be keeping her and your family in my prayers. As well as you as you make the back to work adjustment. At least you've got BG to say funny things to keep you amused :) Bless her heart.

The Shabby Princess said...

Thinking and praying for you and your family, sweet girl.

Erin said...

So so sorry to hear about your Grandma! I'll be praying for you and your entire family! I hope things get better for you soon, love!

Ashley said...

Praying for you. I think about you and you grandma all the time! And I will be praying for you going back to work! I am back part time too. Today is my first day home since I started and I could have cried thinking of how bad I want to stay home full time. It is hard, but she will probably learn so much from that time away! And glad your first shoot went well!! : )

A.B. said...

Thinking of you.

Kara said...

I'm really sorry :(

Melanee said...

i'm sorry you're having a rough time right now. i know all about grandmas with cancer. you are in my prayers.

not sure what the circumstances are around you going back to work, but if it's not what you really want to do i hope your photography thing really takes off soon.
your pics were great by the way.

praying for you girl!

LG said...

Bless your sweet heart! That is quite a load and I am so sorry to hear it! I am sure BG is enjoying day care though! I recently went to visit my childhood sitter's house and was over whelmed with emotion at how much I loved her and that time ! BG gets to have the best of both worlds! I will be praying for you during this transition and hope you can get some good sleep and things get better! xoxoo

brown eyed girl said...

Thinking of you and praying for your family as well.

XOXO

Jodi said...

Stopping by from Jenna's. Going back to work must be tough but hopefully you will adjust and enjoy the balance of working and parenting! Good luck!

Amanda said...

Stopping by from Jenna's...I think every mom can relate to most of your emotions b/c we all have them. Those who say they don't ever feel this way are prob lying:)

I, too, am considering going back to work, and even entertaining the thought is hard. Hopefully being part-time will allow you a good balance of "me" time and time with your fam. Blessings to you,
Amanda

Rachel said...

Big hugs, friend. It's one of those times where I think it's appropriate to use the phrase "When it rains it pours!" Hang in there and know that your in my prayers!!

Mandy said...

Thinking of you...I hope things start looking up soon. We're all here for you!

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