Friday, October 15, 2010

October 15th.

I had a fun post for today, but then I remembered what today was.

It's National Pregnancy/Infant Loss Remembrance Day.

I took my very first pregnancy test in my apartment in Savannah. I paced back and forth wringing my hands as I waited the longest three minutes of my life. At the end of the elapsed time, I went in to the bathroom and saw the sign that forever changed my life.

Seven weeks later, I had my first miscarriage.

Whether you deliver the baby or not, the minute you conceive, you carry a life within you. And if that life ends, it will be devastating. It will be a ridiculously hard thing to go through. It will probably break your heart.

I have to be brutally honest. As much happiness as Baby Girl brings me (and it is A LOT), she will never, ever replace the four babies that we lost. She does make it easier to deal with, but she's not them. I don't know if it's ever something you get over.

It's so isolating. Honestly, it's something Mr. Perfect and I don't even talk about. I don't know a father's take on this, because honestly? We don't talk about it. It's hard y'all. I know it all broke his heart too. It's kind of something we back burner. Does that make sense?

Today I remember the four I lost.

I also pray and remember those families that lost their babies here on Earth. I am in awe of their strength. I honestly do not think I could handle saying good-bye to a baby on this Earth. My heart breaks for families that have had to.

So hug your babies a little tighter today. Say an extra prayer of thanks.

And then remember those who can't. Pray for my dear friend Megan and her husband, Brent, who lost their precious baby Cohen this year. Then pray for the other families that have lost their precious babies. And I know there are so many more..

It's good to take one day and know that our babies will never be forgotten. Whether they ever breathed air on this Earth or not, they were, and will always be loved.

Here's the website if you want to know more:


Katie said...

gosh i have the biggest chills. thanks for helping us remember.

Lauren said...

Thinking of each and every one of y’all today!!!!

Emma-leigh said...

Currently going through my first (and hopefully last) miscarriage. It gives me hope to see what you have gone through and to know that people actually do make it through this. Thanks for sharing.

Emma-leigh said...

Thanks for the sweet comment on my blog. It helps to know that there are so many people out there that keep up with your lives and have stories to help support you through the trying times in your lives. We greatly appreciate the support!

Heather said...

Thank you for such an honest post. Someone close to us has gone through so much through the loss of their babies, and my heart aches for them, for you, and anyone else that faces this.


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