greener grass.

I kind of despise the phrase "the grass is always greener on the other side". I feel like it's one of those cliched quotes that gets thrown out at random times, usually after you just poured your heart out to someone who responds with that quote.

Green grass?!? After a heartfelt admission. Shank.

I've had very, very few serious relationships in my life. Three in fact, maybe four if I'm being generous. Don't get me wrong, I dated (a lot), but very few were actually worth hanging out with for more than a minute week or so.

I genuinely loved being single in college. I spent all of high school in a relationship and when that ended decided that it was time to just have fun and figure out me. Then a friend would get into a relationship and our time would be cut in half and I would kinda sorta want what she had.

Then there were the times when I was in a relationship and all my friends were going out and having a blast while I was stuck at home watching a lame-o movie with a guy and I totally wanted what they had...

Grass, greener, much?

Last night I was stalking looking at pictures on Facebook of a friend's wedding back home, and I felt it; that pang. The pang of wanting what someone else had.

All of a sudden, I missed that early stage. I missed the showers, the total attention of being the bride, the newness of a brand new marriage. I missed the giggles of figuring out how to live with someone new, the excitement of finally being called a "Mrs.", the joy of writing your new last name for the first time. I missed the first home, the new puppy your hubs brought home, the not being able to keep your hands off each other newlywed stage.

Sigh...

I sat there last night and ached with missing that stage of life. The new home is long since gone, the puppy is a six year old dog, and the newlywed stage has been replaced by the toddler stage.

I looked around and saw the Heartguard on the counter, the monitor buzzing at my elbow, the dogs asleep on the floor, and then... I smiled.

The newlywed stage is awesome, don't get me wrong. But this? Sitting in a house with six years of acquired "stuff", two dogs and a cat who've joined the journey, a new baby, and a man who I now know like the back of my hand; this is better.

True, the nights we can't keep our hands off each other are few and far between, replaced by nights where we both fall exhausted on the couch at bedtime. And sometimes I miss the newness of it all, but we had that. It was great, but right now, there is no greener grass than what I'm currently walking through life on.