Christmas Card 2013

As with most things this year, I'm a little late linking up with Faith for her Christmas Card Carousel. But better late than never right??

So from our family to yours.... Merry Christmas! I love how our card turned out again this year. I can't say enough good things about Shutterfly. Or the adorable family of mine in these pictures.


Merry Christmas y'all!

the things that matter.

I love Christmas.

I love absolutely every little thing about this season.

I love the bell ringers outside the store. I love the lights. I love the sales on toys. I love the Elf on the Shelf. I love Christmas clothes (understatement of the YEAR). I love celebrating Jesus.

I love it all.

I was at a wedding this past weekend and I spent the two hour drive home thinking about just how stinking blessed I am. It's sort of ridiculous.

My husband is a rock. Who puts up with every little insane thing I do (which is a lot. Daily). He works hard and still manages to be a rockstar Dad.

My kid is my heart and soul. She makes me laugh harder than I knew possible. And she's stretched how I love in a way that no one has ever been able to do.

I am surrounded by amazing people. New friendships are being made. My old ones just get better with time. I cannot say enough good things about the friends I've chosen to do life with.

My daughter is loved. My friends love her. Her teachers love her. In turn, that makes me oh so happy. There is nothing better on this planet than to feel love and she will never have a shortage of it.

I've been a bit down lately. Work isn't going how I ever saw it going and I spend a lot of time with a big 'ol bad attitude. I see negative far too much lately. I dread going in every single day.

But as I drove home last night, I realized, none of that matters.

Neither do the friendships that take more work than they deserve. Neither do the people who never have a nice thing to say. And really, neither does so many things about my job.

I've been focusing on so much bad. So much negativity. And it's showing.

It's showing in my attitude and my demeanor. And I'm over it.

This season is a great time to refocus. To get my energy and my attention on the things that matter.

My God. My husband. My sweet, sweet girl. My family. My true friends. The builders and encouragers in my life.

They are what matters.

catching fire: flash giveaway!

** GIVEAWAY CLOSED!!!!! ***

So one of the biggest movies out right now is Catching Fire, the sequel to the Hunger Games box office hit. I personally loved the book and cannot wait to see the movie.

To get ready for the movie, I have a Catching Fire prize pack up for grabs which includes:
- One (1) movie poster
- One (1) official movie T-shirt with Mockingjay logo
- Two (2) wristbands
- One (1) iPhone cleaner
- One (1) iPhone dot

Everything you need to get ready for the big movie! The movie poster is awesome and if nothing else, the t-shirt is great for lounging around the house watching the Hunger Games to get ready for Catching Fire. And BG is in love with the bracelets. Perfect accessories ;)

To enter, just comment below. I will be picking a winner by random.org in a few hours.

As usual, all opinions are mine. I was compensated with a prize pack to review.

things that make us "us"

I think there are unique things that make each person who they are. Which is awesome because truth be told, it would be pretty boring out there if we were all alike.

Same goes for each family. I think there are little quirks, little day to day activities that make each family unique. Which is awesome. I also kind of love hearing the different things/traditions/rituals that each family have. Maybe I'm nosey (I totally am) but I love it. I love hearing bits of what makes up people.

These days my little family of three has settled into this nice little routine. There are things that happen daily that are different, probably downright odd to other people but they make us who we are. It's just part of us. It's part of what makes us a family.

Every morning Mr. P goes to work early. Like really early. So it's always me and the little in the morning. Sometimes she wakes up when he does and if that happens, he moves her into bed with me nine times out of ten. On the mornings he doesn't, I always wake up before her and move to her bed with her for a bit. We snuggle for a while before it's time to get up. I can't think of a better way to start my day.

If it's E and I in the car; the music is on and LOUD. If I turn it down, she wants it back up. She gets it from her Mama. If it's E and Mr. P; it's conversation. And lots of it. They are talkers. I am not. I love that she adapts to whichever parent she's with.

We eat out a lot. Like a lot, a lot. We're working on it. But we've eaten out so much with our kid that she now asks "where are we going for dinner?" instead of "what's for dinner?". She's also a restaurant champ. She gets to watch Netflix on her phone til the food comes while Mr. P and I chat about our days, then when the food comes, the show goes off and we eat and talk as a family. It's routine. It's fun.

Sometimes I let E sleep really late in the morning. It's good for me to have peace and quiet and sometimes I know she's tired so I let her sleep. On those mornings, she eats breakfast in the car on the way to school. I should feel guilty about that. I don't.

E has show and tell on Thursdays. Every Thursday. Most Thursdays I forget. Most Thursdays she throws me under the bus right in front of her teacher when I pick her up. "Mom! You forgot my show and tell item again!". She knows her days of the week. I really think she does this on purpose..... I didn't forget today.

Every night before bed, I tickle E. Hard. Like til she can't breathe. Mr. P tells me every night that this is the opposite of settling her down. I don't care. He really doesn't either. We can't get enough of that laugh.

E has started telling us "you always do that" when we do something dumb. It's like having a tiny teacher around all. the. time.

On Fridays we eat pizza. We also have tried to instill family movie night. Most of the time though, we put the little to bed at 7 on the dot like the rest of the week. Because let's be honest; by Friday? Mom and Dad are tired. Kids got to go to bed.

Saturdays we have ballet. E dances while I work out and Mr. P gets a few girl free hours.


We like to laugh. A lot. Most of the time at one of our expenses. It's true. Someone is always being ganged up on. I need a boy. He'll be on my side. ;)

The older E gets, the sweeter she gets. She likes to be carried and sit on our laps more now than ever. I should be ripped from carrying her 40 pounds around. I'm not.

Every morning E eats while I get ready. Every morning she plays around and when I holler down for her to come brush her teeth, she hollers back "but I'm trying to eat!" and every morning I tell her to come brush anyway and go back and finish. It's like clockwork. I laugh every morning because I know it's coming. She always comes.

E gets mad at Lacy no less than five times a day for breathing on her. They are the same height. It's not going to stop.

Dragon Tales is basically the soundtrack to our lives. I get mad daily for how much it's on.

Mr. P can't handle whining. I can tune it out like a champ. I can't handle incessant chatter. He can tune that out like a champ. We tag out a lot.

E and I daily fight over her hair. She never wants it how I want it. I usually win. It's my hands doing the work.

I have a problem with shopping. Mr. P gets home first in the afternoon and always finds my packages. Usually I tell him I "won it from the blog" somehow. But then I quit blogging as much and the packages kept coming. Pretty sure he's on to me... ;)

Our house is a three ring circus most days. Someone gets mad daily. Usually at least one set of tears is had (usually E's). But there is so much laughter. So much good. I love us. As crazy as we are, I can't get enough.

halloween.

Months ago, BG decided that she wanted to be a Mexican jumping bean for Christmas.

I was kind of excited. I mean, how cool. Plus totally original. I loved it.

I set to work finding brown material to make her "bean" and found a sombrero for her to wear. It was going to be EPIC.

Then we went shopping with my aunt and my girl walked by Pottery Barn Kids and suddenly, she HAD to be the purple fairy princess she saw hanging in the window.

Blast.

I thought for sure she would forget about it but as Halloween got closer and closer, it was clear that wasn't going to happen.

Mr. P and I really didn't want to pay the (ridiculously overpriced) price of the PBK costume so she and I ended up at Target one night to try and sway her decision. While there, I got a text from Mr. P saying "just go get the purple one. She'll be the cutest fairy princess ever". Wrapped he is.

But she found a Tinkerbell costume at Target that she liked so we got it. But she wasn't that excited about it.

Long story short; we are pushovers. And BG ended up with two costumes for Halloween. But her smile when we picked out the purple fairy costume (in two sizes too big mind you, last minute sucks), was totally worth it. Mr. P was right; she was the cutest fairy princess I ever did see.

Once she was all dolled up, we headed downtown to our local business trick-or-treat. It was packed out. There were tons of "characters" walking around, which BG is terrified of, and tons of businesses doling out all kinds of fun stuff. We did manage to get her to take a picture with a Ghostbuster. That was all she was having.

We did about half of the walk through and then headed back to our neighborhood. We walked around for a bit, checked out a local haunted house (which only I went through with a bunch of high school girls; holy hilarious), and then headed on home about eight when it was clear a certain toddler was Halloween'd out.

It was a really, really good time. We may be about ninety bucks poorer, but the fairy princess was worth it.

words. and such.

I am bound and determined to get over here more often. To write about life a bit more. I try to do a yearly book for each year for E. I know I should do one for our family as well, but being as how I have one done for E and she's 4, I'm going to have to backburner that one. I really should get hers caught up.

The point, I use this blog to remember what happened back then. So when working on her book, I can look back. Hopefully I'll be catching up around here soon. Don't worry, I'll archive it all. You won't get blasted with tons of old pictures. Lucky y'all ;)

Work is busy. But it will always be. And if it's not, then I'm not doing something right. So I'm glad it's busy. The whole working with the husband the best friends and all that has gotten better. MUCH better. I think we've all figured out a bit of a balance on how to have work and a home life. It's been much better.

BG is doing AMAZING in school. She stays on "green" most of the time. It's this new behavior chart that her school has started and it seems to work. She's pretty stoked with herself when she stays on green and knows it's not good if she gets on yellow or red. So she works pretty hard to stay on green. I'm proud of her for thinking about her actions. She needs to do a lot more of it, (truth) but she's learning.

Three is a really hard age. The tempers and the attitude are fierce. But oh my stars this age is hi-freaking-larious. The things she says and does daily absolutely kill me. She's emphatic about what she wears, how her hair is done, what she eats. She's completely a little person with a complete mind of her own. Maybe because I wasn't around a lot of younger kids growing up, but I never expected a three year old to be just such a cool person. I never expected she'd already be digging out her own clothes each morning, cleaning her own room, putting up her own dishes, getting her own water and snacks from the fridge; I'm rambling. I just love my kid.

The hubs and I are finding ways to make date night at home again. Hands down, I miss having a baby sitter next door back in Florence more than anything. We've found an amazing sitter here in Charlotte so we've gotten lucky there, it's just harder to plan last minute dinners when you can't drop your kid off at her grandparents next door. So we're getting good at at home date nights. It's been fun.

This is probably the most boring post ever but it's what we're up too. We're settling in nicely here. Things are good.

october 15th

As you all probably know, October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. And today, I remember the four that came before my sweet girl.

And just like every other day, I thank God that He allowed her to make it. That He is allowing us time with her on this Earth. She was beyond worth the wait.

I never would have wanted to go through everything we had to go through for her. I wouldn't wish the heartbreak, the surgeries, the meds, the feelings from those meds, the pain; any of it, on anyone. But.. I would do it all again. For her. I would take every medication, every shot, exploratory surgery again; whatever I had to do, to get her here. Because, oh my gosh y'all, she's worth it.

There are some mothers who still don't have babies here on Earth to hold and my heart aches for them. You are in my prayers because I know your pain. And those mothers who lost an infant? I can't even imagine and my heart goes out to you all today as well.

It's good to remember the ones who aren't here. It's good to have a day about them. It's good for our hearts as Mothers.

They deserve to be remembered.

We deserve to miss them and long for them. My heart longs for the day I get to hold my babies again; whole and perfect. I absolutely cannot wait.

But until then, I am going to love on their little sister and give her every ounce of love I have. I'll tell her about them and how she has four perfect guardian angels always watching over her. I'll tell her she'll meet them one day.

It's good to remember. Sending prayers to everyone this day has affected.

my favorite mermaid: a giveaway

So apparently I can't sit down long enough to blog, but one should always have time for a giveaway no?

Yes.

Hands down my favorite Disney Princess is Ariel. One, she has amazing hair. Two, she's kind of a bit OCD and totally a hoarder and I like people that are a little bit off. My people.

I still remember when the movie originally aired. We were freaks over it and to this day I still love watching it. I was thrilled to see that it was coming out of the vault and couldn't wait to add it to BG's growing Disney collection.

And now you can get your hands on the Diamond Edition DVD/BlueRay combo to add to your collection. A perfect addition to any childs' Christmas morning. Giveaway ends at midnight so make sure you get those entries in. Good luck!
a Rafflecopter giveaway


**I received a copy of the DVD/BlueRay combination to review for the giveaway. All opinions are courtesy of me.**

another first for the books.

Weekend Wrap-up huh? Does anyone still do these anymore? Probably not. Oh well. Today I am.

This weekend was awesome. Absolutely positively so much fun.

A few months ago, my very football crazy aunt bought tickets for the Charlotte Panthers/New York Giants game. She was stoked at the chance to come see her beloved Eli Manning play so she snatched up tickets basically the minute we moved to the Charlotte area. My brother and sister in law made plans to come up for the weekend and we've all been so excited for this weekend.

But plans change. And when kiddos are involved, they change quickly.

The day before my S & Kiki were supposed to come down, their little one came down with the chicken pox. Which quickly put a kibosh on the weekend plans.

My aunt and granddad still came down though so Saturday we took them with us to the littles' ballet practice and then headed over to Southpark to do a bit of shopping. My Papa and Mr. P did most of the entertaining of the little one (who is finally at the age where these excursions are mostly fun) while my aunt and I hit basically every store in the entire mall. True story.

BG hit a few stores with us and as she exclaimed "look! isn't this so cute!" over and over as she showed us stuff, I was hit with a memory so hard it took my breath away. I remember spending Saturdays growing up shopping with my Grandma and aunt and now here I am, with the same aunt and my little girl shopping away on a Saturday. Some traditions are too awesome to not keep.

Since we now had two extra tickets, we decided to just take E to the game with us instead of leaving her behind. I figured if she got super bored, we would just walk the concourse for a bit. I honestly wasn't too worried about it.

And I truly shouldn't have been.

We dropped the three of them off at the stadium while Mr. P and I went and parked. We then walked the mile back to the stadium and met back up with them. We went on through security and checked in at the guest counter where BG was gifted a certificate to commemorate her first Panthers game.

We found our seats, then found some overpriced hotdogs and drink to consume. BG ate and kept her eyes on the beginning of the game. She was being so good!

She lost interest for a bit but just sat down in front of her chair and played on the stadium floor (no judgement!) for a bit. After a quick rest on her Mama's lap, BG was ready to finish out the game. And finish the game she did.

In no time she was high fiving those around us, dancing with the cheerleaders, and having a blast watching the Panther dance around the end zone. I'm not sure she watched a bit of football, but it didn't matter. She clearly had a blast. And so did the rest of us.

The weather was perfection. The city is perfection. And though the Giants basically didn't show up to play at all, it was still worth it to go. It was an absolutely perfect day.
We ended the day with wings and ice-cream before collapsing in the bed pretty early. It's safe to say my girl enjoyed her first NFL game. And so did her parents. Such a good day.

(almost) wordless wednesday

When Mom sleeps in on a Sunday morning and it's up to the Dad to handle breakfast, the Dad and the kid will sneak off only to return with a dozen doughnuts. And it is so good...

31.

Today I turn 31. Which is kind of crazy because I can distinctly remember turning 30 and it JUST happened so I have no idea how I got here. But here I am.

I've heard that women are getting to the point where they are just now "finding" themselves on into their thirties and I so get that. At thirty, I thought I would have it all figured out. But somehow I woke up that morning just as clueless about so much as I'd been at twenty nine. Guess I got that one wrong.

A lot has changed in 365 days. We moved. Again. I changed jobs. Again. My personal life has both flourished and suffered greatly this past year in ways that I won't ever write about but they have shaped me greatly. It's been a year, that's for sure.

I've done a lot of growing and changing over the last couple of months. I'm no where near where I want to be, but I'm getting there and that's okay. It's okay to be a constant work in progress. I fully intend on still being in the process of figuring things out when I slide into the grave. It's just who I am.

While I am a work in progress, there are a few things that I've found to be undeniably true about who I am. Things that are me to the core. Things that maybe at one time I tried to hide, or deny, but now? now that I'm on the other side of 30? I've realized it's too exhausting to not just be me. To not let my "freak flag" fly. It may have cost me a few friendships and a few hard life lessons, but it's also deepened relationships that mean the world to me.

So for my thirty first birthday, thirty one things that make me, me. Tied in with the lessons that finally got me to be okay with who I am. Actually, that's not true. I am MORE than okay with who I am. And here's who you are today girl. Happy 31st Birthday.

31. Music will ALWAYS be the way to your soul. Do not be ashamed when a song brings you to tears or makes you close your eyes and just sit and listen. It's okay to sing a little too loud and to spend a bit too much money on concert tickets. This is your release. Enjoy it.

30. You kind of hate running. Yet you keep doing it. I'm actually not so sure why I keep putting myself through it except that I've just always done it. But old injuries are starting to hurt more and more and the runs are becoming more excruciating. It's okay to throw in the towel girl.

29. You also know you won't do that. You aren't a quitter.

28. You HATE confrontation. When forced to deal with it, you will. And you will handle it with sarcasm and wit, but you will be a sweaty, nervous mess while doing it. Don't pretend to be a bad ass. Fights and drama are not your thing.

27. You are flaky. Like REAL flaky. At least five mornings a week you lose your keys or your purse or something. You keep buying things to help you get "organized" and you usually lose those. Thank God you married an organized man.

26. You're a procrastinator. BIG TIME. You usually have great intentions and big plans but then lack the follow through. We're working on this but see above.

25. You've spent a good deal of time barking up the wrong tree when it comes to friendships. You won't be everyone's best friend. You can't buy friendship. Some friendships just aren't worth the effort. You are still learning which ones are but you're getting better. It's not worth the energy to be the only one trying.

24. If your kid isn't important to someone; they shouldn't be important to you. Forgetting your kids birthday when it's not allowed to forget their kids? Unacceptable. You don't need these people.

23. You will always get to invested in certain tv shows. Glee, One Tree Hill? Yep. You love them. Pretty sure you always will. And it's okay to disappear into them for a few hours. Life is hard. Sometimes it's nice to escape.

22. Laughter is always the best medicine. You married a funny man and your friends are hilarious. Clearly you already know this. ;)

21. Life usually doesn't turn out the way we envision in high school. I NEVER thought things would be the way they are now. But they're better. WAY better. Enjoy the twists and turns of life. They aren't always fun but they have a point. It just may take a long time to get to that point.

20. Girls' Night Out is your sanity. Never stop making time for your friends. They are the place you can just be "Megan" instead of "Mom". It's a good thing. You need that time.

19. You will never be on time. Ever. Keep trying though. It's not fun being late.

18. Work is stressful and sometimes you hate it, but you are good at what you do. Though you never would have imagined you would be doing what you do, it's worked out perfect. You are good at it because you work hard. It's one of your better qualities.

17. You're funny. Which is kind of cool. Don't be ashamed of it. Humor gets you through the day. Rock it.

16. You cannot rock pastels, collared shirts, or clothes with animal prints. And truth? you don't want too.

15. You might be a bit of a hippie. But that's okay. Hippie's are cool. You do shower so that's a win.

14. Life isn't always easy. Some very important relationships in your life are not at all what you've dreamed of. But you know what? You have the chance to make better ones with the next generation. Let go of the past. Ella is your second chance.

13. You are fiercely competitive. Get prepared to be banished to the car should your daughter play sports. This will happen.

12. You have an extremely laid back take on parenting. And while sometimes you beat yourself up for it because it's not the "norm" it works for you and your daughter. Go your own way. She's happy and taken care of. And that's what matters.

11. You eat like crap. And the metabolism you used to have? It's long gone son. Shae that department up stat.

10. As much as you envy stay at home moms, you weren't meant to be one. And your kid? she thrives at school. The situation y'all are in now is the best one for the two of you. It didn't work out for y'all to be together all the time and that's okay. It doesn't mean you love each other less or anything like that. It's just who y'all are.

9. Your husband will always make you a bit crazy but that's because y'all are so different. And those differences? are fantastic. He levels you out in a way that you need daily. He's truly your best sidekick. You got a good one.

8. You're getting older but it's still okay to drive a little too fast sometimes. To play your music a bit too loud. To drink a bit too much. Life is good. Live it.

7. Love hard. You will always think that people are inherently good and that's a good thing. The world needs more people like that. Love people. It's the greatest commandment. It is that for a reason.

6. Show your daughter how important school is but also show her how important it is to get out of those doors and learn in the world. It has SO much to show her. Make sure you show her the world before someone else does. You'll show her the good parts. No telling what someone else might show her.

5. Get outside every day. You start to get sulky when you don't. This is a command.

4. Love your kid. Hard. You know how bad it hurts when you don't feel that. Smother her with love. And when she starts to fight back, do it harder. You have every intention of being the embarrassing mom. ;) Rock it.

3. Love your husband. Hard. He saved you in every way possible. He deserves to know how much you will always appreciate him.

2. Love your God. Hard. He's the only reason you've made it this far.

1. You're 31 girl, but you still have so much more to learn and do. So rock your aviators, play your music, wear flip flops daily, cry at sappy tv shows, laugh with your friends, love your family, hold your daughter, and thank God daily for your life. It sort of rocks.

k-3

So my baby started another year of school.

Why oh why does she insist on growing so incredibly fast?!?

My girl loves school. LOVES it. And prefers to go to school over much else. So drop off was easy. I didn't expect anything different.

She loves her friends, loves her teacher, loves learning. It's so good for her.

She doesn't love naps but it is what it is. While the other kids nap, she gets one on one time with her teacher working on other lessons. It works. She comes home absolutely flat exhausted, but, what are you gonna do?

I can't believe how much she's grown in a year. She's gotten so tall and has thinned out so much. And her hair is finally growing. It took forever, but was worth the wait.


I've been trying to get E to let me do an "interview" of sorts to post on here about what she likes at 3, but she's having none of that mess. So I wrote her answers down here. It's more for us to just look back at one day.

Interview With A Toddler:

Favorite color: pink and purple
Favorite sport: soccer
Best friend: Lacy
Favorite food: Pizza and applesauce (though I think that's just because that's what she was eating at the time. It's probably more like cheeseburger)
Favorite clothes: a dress
Favorite TV show: Dora (though this should probably be Dragon Tales
Favorite movie: The Dora & Diego movie
Favorite song: Call Me Maybe

Here's to another year. Let's do this kiddo.

tales from the road.

If you would have told me that one day I would be on the road every single day as a sales person, I would have laughed in your face. And if you would have added that I would be doing those sales for the construction industry? Ha. But here we are.

I actually love my job though. While it can get old being in the car 9 hours a day, it can actually be kind of fun.

I've managed to broaden my already extensive knowledge of music. I hear A LOT. I still love classic rock and I still hate Justin Beiber. That hasn't changed.

I've learned that you should ALWAYS pick a department store bathroom over a gas station bathroom. ALWAYS. Kohl's has great ones but they're all the way in the back nine times out of ten. Lowe's is my favorite and they're right up front.

Also, I now have an extensive knowledge of bathrooms.

You will learn to become a public p**per. That's all I'll say about that.

QT is the Holy Land of gas stations. If you pass one, stop. ALWAYS. Their coffee? I hear angels sing. And $1.72 is my jam. Much better priced than Starbucks. Plus? nicest cashiers you'll find at a gas station.

When in a new town, eat lunch at a local place. It's fun. And fast food is gross and gets old. And try new food. It's good.

You will gain weight. You better find a hobby that involves lots of calorie burning to counteract the flattening of the buttocks from being in the car all day. Truth.

While in new towns, check out local shops. I have found awesome new soaps, amazing clothes, and so many other cool things that I never would have found if I never ventured into the cool little boutiques small towns have to offer.

Never answer your phone if the boss should call while you're in those shops. ;)

I kid. I would NEVER. That's lunch hour.

Truth.

You will spend a ridiculous amount of time on the phone. Find some entertaining friends to tell you funny stories on those long, boring drives.

Gas is overpriced. It will piss you off every single time you fill up.

You will probably still hate salespeople. I still cannot stand when someone tries to sell me something. My best friend (and coworker) is always quick to defend saying ("they're ONE OF US MEGAN") but I'm not buying it. I'm not pushy. They are.

You have a lot of free time. Free time in which lists like this are born. It is what it is.

the here and now.

Hi blog.

I know it's been a while. Truth be told, I hate how long it's been. And I'm going to do my best to update this little space with what's been going on and what we've been up too. It's time to come back.

Truth is, I run from this place a little bit when I'm feeling.. lost. Which is odd, because at one time this was the first place I ran too. But here, I get a good glimpse of "me" and lately, I haven't wanted to look.

I feel like I've lost "me".

Which sounds totally emo and "whoa is me" but let's see if I can explain.

Ever since moving to Charlotte I've felt off. Which is sort of crazy because I really like this place, but I haven't found my niche.

Or maybe I have. In a niche I don't want.

My life is consumed by work. It is literally, everywhere.

I work with my husband. I work with my best friend. There is never a "quitting time" as we're always together and work quickly pours over into dinner, which pours over into bed time, which pours over into the next morning. It never ends.

Not to mention that I work in an extremely consuming job. It is always something. And 95% of the people I deal with in the business I am in, are extremely poor and make extremely bad decisions which I deal with every single day.

It is mentally exhausting.

I've been working for months to find a way to balance it all and I can't find it.

Some of the most important relationships in my life have fallen apart since I've moved here (which have nothing to do with the move but on top of things...). Which leaves me with this deep sadness that nothing can quite help (and I've tried) and leaves me with a jealousy that is out of control when I see people that have amazing relationships in that department.

So much stress.

Which quickly leads me to feel tired. A tired that is in my bones. That no matter how much sleep I get, I could go right back to dreamland. A tired that makes me want to spend entire days on the couch hiding from everyone watching reruns of Glee after the husband leaves for work and I take my kid to school.

I've actually only done that once. Win.

Somewhere in the madness that is life lately, I lost me. And I kind of miss her.

Usually I can spill a few words on these pages and instantly feel better, but I'm not sure that I've even wanted that lately. To feel better I mean.

And please, this isn't a cry for help or anything like that, this is just me; trying to work through the insanity in my over cluttered head.

Maybe this is a bit of homesickness, though we've moved so much lately I don't even know where "home" is.

Maybe this is a bit of sadness as I've left tiny pieces of my heart in two different places in less than a year and it's catching up to me now.

Maybe I'm just mentally exhausted by the every day demands of a job that just won't quit (which I love, but might be the death of me).

I don't know.

I just know that lately, I'm tired.

I haven't figured out what life is trying to show me lately. What God is trying to show me. Which that second part is my fault as I've basically shut down all communication with Him since I moved here.

There's the problem. Duh.

The discontent that is raging has a direct correlation to the fact that I've let that relationship come last since I moved here.

He gets the very last of me; the remnants left over at the end of a way too full day. Which isn't fair. Or right.

I'm just so tired.

The good thing? I've sat down here and put it in words. Words are finally spilling out which means I'm probably ready to start fixing things. Fixing me. Which is good. Because I kind of miss her.

4 years ago.

I kind of love the Timehop app. It's so fun to open that thing up and see what I was doing one, two, and three years ago.

Yesterday, I opened it up to a status from four years ago. In the status I was complaining about how completely exhausted I was at a soccer tournament I was participating in.

I giggled when I read it because I remember that day like it was yesterday. I remember how tired I was. How sore I was. How on Saturday I just knew I wouldn't be able to move at all on Sunday let along play another three or four games.

I also remember how unbelievably preoccupied I was that whole weekend. Our uniform shorts were white and I just KNEW I was going to start my period out there in the middle of that field. I rushed to the bathroom every single break just knowing it was going to come.

But it never did.

My Timehop app status from four years ago today? "....well that's one heck of a curve ball."

And it was. Because that Monday, I went to work just as preoccupied as I had been all weekend continuing to wait on something that wasn't going to come.

I went about my day four years ago like normal. Putting in IV's, doing tests, helping in surgery; but deep inside I knew. I knew that I was pregnant. That I was fixing to embark on a journey that could be really, really short again, or that could change my life forever.

At lunch, my co-worker Donna suggested we go get a test because even she could see how worked up I was. So after too much Mexican food, I hopped into CVS before heading back to work.

One positive test, one immediate panic attack, so many tears. I was terrified. But absolutely overjoyed at what that test meant.

Four years ago. Wow. Never in my life could I imagine how much one little person could change my life. She is hands down, the best little person I've ever known. She's taught me to love in a way I never thought I was capable of.

The last four years have been so, so hard but they have been so, so good. SO good.

She's the last remaining puzzle piece that was missing in my life. And I thank God that four years ago, He saw fit to bless me with a "yes". Because that yes is my heart and soul. And life is better because of her.

tidbits of her.

Age three is quite the age.

There are certainly lows (the tantrums, the attitude, the back talk, the... on and on and on) but there are also so many highs. So, so many.

Her little personality shows through a little bit more everyday. And who she is becoming kind of rocks.

My favorite Disney movie is the Fox and the Hound. Which also happens to be just about the saddest movie ever. Which I don't think I realized but good grief, that thing is sad. Currently that movie is also BG's favorite movie. So we've been watching it on just about repeat lately. It's rare that she actually sits down and watches but this morning she sat down with her breakfast to watch.

I ran upstairs to get dressed while she watched the part where the lady drops the fox off at the game preserve. All of a sudden I heard a bunch of "ahh"s over and over in the saddest little voice ever. I peeked down the stairs just in time to hear her call "Mom! That lady left that fox on the road! In the rain!". As I started to explain why she had to do that, she turned to me with tear filled eyes and I quickly felt mine well up as well.

Her heart is good as gold. I'm loving the person she is becoming. I'm loving that she cares.

Now if we could just tone down the sass and keep the big 'ol heart.

our fourth

In the grand scheme of things, our Fourth of July kind of rocked.

We thought about driving into the city for fireworks and such but ex-nayed that as crowds and toddlers don't usually mix. Mr. P wanted to stick close to home and avoid that whole cluster so we decided to just grill out at the lake with the bff and her kids and let the kids swim before cleaning up and watching the fireworks here in town. Perfect plan.

We spent the morning unpacking (it will NEVER be done) and cleaning while BG played. After naps for the two kiddos of the house (never the Mom), we packed up and headed over to J's to swim for a bit.

The kids had a BLAST. There was the bickering which always occurs when you put two girls together (BG will probably stay an only child, because oh my stars the bickering), but overall, they had a blast.

As has been the norm this entire summer, the fun was rained out all too quickly and we literally had to grab everything and sprint as the clouds all too soon opened up and the daily downpour commenced.

*SIDENOTE: what is UP with the weather this year? Wettest summer ever.*

Once it cleared up again, we packed up the goods for lunch and headed down to the lake where J and I quickly found a spot to lay while the kids played and Mr. P grilled. Should have been perfection.

And it was. But we're Moms and all too soon the kids were over letting us do nothing and were throwing things in the lake and talking our ears off. We wouldn't trade them for the world though. ;)

After lunch, we let them play down at the lake for a bit before we hustled everyone back to the house for showers before getting ready to see the fireworks.

Only it poured again. So laying at the pool watching the show didn't happen. Because they canceled it. Boo.

We trekked down to the lake again where we found a couple of guys setting off fireworks of their own. We found a bench and curled up together and watched as they attempted a show of some sort that really was not going well. The kids were losing interest about five minutes in when the guys messed up and shot the fireworks backwards; directly at us.

Obviously we're okay but it was kind of scary and my poor child is now completely TERRIFIED of fireworks and has told us every night since that she's good on fireworks and is okay if they never go off again.

Fun.

But all in all? a day spent with friends and family, good food and cold drinks? Total win. Hope you all enjoyed your holiday as well.

life lately.

Life lately is absolutely positively insane.

There has been something going on every single weekend and weekdays are filled with work, school, and so many other shenanigans that most of the time Mr. P and I literally collapse into bed beyond tired some time way too late in the night only to have to get up and start all over again way too early in the morning.

Grown up life is a blast.

I have not been working out at all lately. Like at all at all. A few weeks ago, Mr. P and I joined my best friend and her family for a few hours of backyard soccer. He managed to tear up his back and I was literally so sore for the next week that the idea of using the bathroom was enough to make me cry. It was hella bad

So naturally, the bff and I signed up to play in our high school's alumni soccer game. Backyard soccer made me sore, surely I could survive 90 minutes of full on play with a bunch of high schoolers right?!

It was actually a total and complete blast. Was I sore? Absolutely. But the joy of playing high schoolers is that at the end of the game, I can relax with a cold beer and ignore my soreness. They can't.

Though they probably aren't sore. But whatever.

Baby Girl is growing up way too fast. The attitude, the sass; it's all SO much. But dare I say (knock on wood) that age 3 is actually shaping up to be much easier for us than age 2 was? Maybe because she hit her independent streak so dang early that we've already worked through some of that? I don't know. But I love this age.

I am sure that she will somehow find out that I wrote these words and she will make me pay, but right now her horn deserves to be tooted; she's all sorts of awesome. I adore that kid something fierce.

She has a current obsession with being just like her Mama and Daddy. Case in point, we bought her the cutest pair of Dora flip flops (she picked them) the other day. They have this strap that goes around the back of her ankle to keep them on her feet. The other day I noticed that she had pushed that strap all the way to the front of the shoe. After a bit of questioning I figured out that she didn't want to wear the strap because her Dad and my flip flops didn't have the strap. So we cut them off. Then we bought another pair which she promptly pushed the strap around the bottom. Point taken. Only "big girl" flops from here on out.

With every little change that's been happening lately (there's big news ahead), she's handled it with grace far beyond her years. She's a champ with a heart the size of Texas who absolutely adores those around her and doesn't hesitate to let them know that daily.

In "big news" land.... a couple of weeks ago a job opportunity presented itself to Mr. P. A job opportunity which would move us about two hours west of the sleepy little town we were currently residing in. It happened quick. Talk of the change started and about a week or so later, Mr. P resigned from his current job and took a new job.

In another little twist, he accepted a job with the same company I currently work for. So my job? remained intact. Well.. sort of.

He's currently running two offices for my company based out of the Charlotte area while I work sales for the company in Charlotte. And Florence. For now.

The coolest part? I'm now working sales with my best friend. And living five minutes from her in a small town outside of Charlotte. It's kind of awesome. And fun.

I have this mechanism in me that kind of shuts down when things get overwhelming. And all the change lately? Overwhelming. I know I didn't blog about the move, but I also didn't tell many people either. I told one of my closest friends I was moving while driving to the new town. Yes. I'm very, very odd but I was overwhelmed. And scared of all this change. And truth be told? a little bit sad about leaving the town I had zero desire to move to in the first place.

Hardest part? Hands down leaving sweet friends again. Leaving my clients who I kind of adore (even though I do get to go back once a week to work there). Leaving a dear friend who I never got to spend enough time with while there and leaving her sweet, sweet girl who I absolutely adored. Leaving another school and another little best friend that Baby Girl adored. And while it drove me crazy living next door to my in-laws, I will also miss having them close enough for E to spend the night with them or for them to keep her for a couple of hours.

BG put up a tiny bit of resistance when we talked about her "new school" but eventually got on board with the idea of making new friends and checking out a new school. She almost broke my heart when her little lip started quivering one morning as she said "Mommy, I like my school. I like my friends. I want to stay here." . Yes. I started sobbing.

But she bucked up and got a bit excited. Then she figured out that she could make people sad by saying "I'm leaving now!" all giddy. She can be a little evil. She got more excited if they fake cried.

She is so my child.

In the midst of the crazy, BG was surrounded by family to shower her with constant love and attention. She spent a couple of weeks surrounded by grandparents when my Mom came down for a bit. Then my amazing sister in law offered to take her for a few days and spoil her at the beach.

BG jumped at the chance to head to Aunt Kiki and Uncle Steve's house for a few days. So we packed her a suitcase and I drove her down to the beach for a few days while her Dad and I headed to the new town to attempt to get things a bit settled.

BG had an absolute blast. I snuck in a quick breakfast with my two favorite little girls before leaving BG and heading home. As per the usual, BG barely gave me a second glance as I walked out because she was far too busy playing with her little cousin.

The next few days were full of fun as her aunt and uncle took her for family dinners with Aunt Kiki's family, the water park, the children's museum, and even an alligator farm.

I almost had a stroke when they texted me a picture of my precious baby petting a snake. She did NOT get that desire from her Mama. This girl doesn't do snakes. Ever.

I was pretty sure that she was flat out going to refuse to come home. We tried to Face Time one night and she had zero desire to sit down and talk to her lame-o parents. She is growing way too fast. I am not a fan.

But come home she did. After a brief stop at her Granny and Grandaddy's. But now I have my girl back. And we're getting settled in a new town. In a new home. Well, we're trying. Eventually we might not be living out of boxes.

Eventually.

We tried a new church yesterday. It was good. This place could easily become home.

Things are crazy right now with work. It's odd working in the same company as the husband. We're working on ways to make work stop and "us" begin when we get home. We haven't figured it out yet but it's going to have to happen soon. Working with my best friend and my husband is a total blast, but sometimes I just need them to be my best friend and my husband; not my co-workers. Does that make sense?

It does. I'm just tired.

So that's life lately. How are you guys?

ww: summer fun

Good grief I love her smile.

for my two favorite dads.

I know. I'm late. But I didn't want to let the day (month?) go by without giving a little shout out to my two favorite Dads.

I don't have any cute pictures because my life is currently chaos as we are moving and my computer with all my pictures is packed and heck, even my presents and cards I got for the two of them are packed, so all I have today is words.

I have the luckiest daughter in the world because she will never, not once, not for a day doubt how much her Daddy loves her. Mr. P is hands down, one of the best fathers I have ever laid eyes on. Babe, our girl is the most blessed little girl ever. The way she lights up when you walk into a room speaks volumes to how you parent her. The fact that you "date" her and make her a priority will do wonders for her in life. More than you can even imagine. Thank you for guiding our family. For being the spiritual leader. For praying with her. For taking her to church. You're giving her a great foundation for her future. I can't wait to see what kind of lady she turns out to be. She's going to be so amazing.

To my Dad. I'm so lucky to look back on a life of great memories with you. One of my favorites is sitting in a warm up circle with the rest of my team, getting ready for that days soccer practice, watching you as you dribbled a ball around and waited on us to get ready to start. You knew that we wouldn't get anything done until we had all gossiped about the days events. I actually loved how in sync you were with me and my friends. I so appreciate all that time you spent investing in my life. You showed me what a good father/daughter relationship looked like and I am so thankful for that. And I know how lucky how I am.

There are so many girls who aren't lucky enough to have a great relationship with their Dads. Too many. Baby Girl and I are beyond blessed to not be in that category. We hit the jackpot with our fathers.

Happy Father's Day you two. I love you both more than the world.

sww

So what if I'm joining up with Shannon today just to hopefully kick start this 'ol blog here a bit. Whatever it takes to dust off ye 'ol cobwebs.

What else... hmmm... let's say so what:

..there are big things happening here. Really big. And I could totally share them but I haven't yet because I know when I start saying it out loud, it will really mean things are happening. Big things. Which are good, but, still changes. And we all know I do not like change.

..if all that probably made it sound like there's a baby announcement on the way. There's not. Nor is there one anywhere in the foreseeable future.

..if that above statement fills me with contentment and also an inner ache at the same time. Let's not dissect that one today. K?

..if I realize that I am so far behind on organizing pictures, blog posts, etc., but every time I sit down to the computer to tackle it, I get overwhelmed and walk away. Tomorrow is another day right?

..if I'm starting to sort of kind of absolutely love age 3. It's hard, don't get me wrong, but BG hit so much of the independent, feisty, sassy, talking back stage at 2, that by 3, we've kind of got things figured out. Now her attitude? still fierce as a snake when it rears it's pretty little head, but those times are rare. And overshadowed by the awesomeness that is her right now.

..if I so realize she's probably going to be a holy freaking terror tomorrow because I just wrote that. Karma.

..if I am in the bed at 9:00 an night and have been since 8. I have been on the road constantly for three days. This girl is done son.

..if I'm ridiculously glad it's Wednesday. Bring on the weekend folks. I need it.

life is good today.

So very often it is far too easy to get tied down in the hard parts of life.

The stresses of work, the exhaustion of raising small children, the trying to keep a marriage hot and burning in the midst of a very, very busy life.

The phone never stops ringing, the laundry is never caught up, someone always needs something. There are days I open my email inbox to find too many unread emails to count. There are days when more people are screaming at me and pissed off at me than happy with me. When my toddler is just plain foul and wants nothing to do with anything having to do with listening to her Mama or even pretending to like me. It's good fun.

But then there are the rest of the days.

The days when your baby squeals "I love you MORE!" and bursts into giggles as she throws herself into your arms. The days when your husband of eight years feels like a newlywed again as you both giggle and share inside jokes that no one else will ever be privy to. When accounts close like they're supposed too and jobs go off without a hitch.

Life is good right now. It's not easy, no, that wouldn't be our way, but it's good.

There have been zoo trips and birthdays. My sweet niece turned one in a weekend that was full of family and friends and so much laughter. There have been soccer games and afternoons spent drinking cold beers and reminiscing with great friends.

Life is good today. Like really good.

And in the midst of all that, there have been changes. BIG changes. Which are actually really good but are huge and require a lot of patience and time. Neither of which I have a lot of but.. I'm learning.

Life is good today.

Change is inevitable. The older I get the more I learn that simple fact. The funny part is, when you have a really good life happening in the background, the changes just become something you learn to roll with. My life is good.

Now remind me of this post the next time my child is screaming at me or workers are cussing at me. I'll need this post to fall on then.

life this side of three.

When I was growing up, it seemed that Moms with kids three and older, had it going on. It seemed that by that point, they knew what was going on and could handle any situation thrown their way.

Strangely enough, when my baby turned three, I didn't feel at all that way.

Most days she hands me at least two situations where I scratch my head and wonder what the hell just happened. She says things that I swear an eight year old shouldn't say, and she knows things that even I don't know.

It's sort of ridiculous.

When she goes to bed at night, I literally collapse because my brain is absolutely throbbing from the mental tests she has put me through the day.

Those Moms I watched growing up? I am so sorry for not cutting you any slack. I should've bought you a drink.

Then there's the older side of a three year old. The side that I absolutely, positively cannot get enough of.

This little 3 1/2 foot creature that resides in my house is the funniest person I've ever met. From shouting out "you're doggone right!" at the most inopportune times, to making up completely off the wall songs, I spend a good portion of my day in hysterics. Sometimes that's not a good thing; like when I'm trying my hardest to discipline her but she's pulling out one of her jokes and for the love of all that is holy, I give in and laugh every time.
the day she turned threeShe's funny. She knows it. I swear she thinks it's a weapon.

She's also smart. As a whip.

She was moved up to 3K early and she is loving that fact. At least once daily we hear "I'm in 3K now because I'm 3. And because I'm smart!". Humility will be something we work on later.

But I love her confidence. I love when she blurts out "I'm funny!" when we tell her she's not (this is usually in reference to the fact that she already thinks humor can get her out of everything). I love that she already knows what she's good at. She's good at funny. I secretly hope she always is.
cupcakes for breakfast on her birthdayShe's still a fan of music and more often than not is asking me to "turn it up!" or squealing "I just love this song!".

She's still cautious in situations she's not sure of tending to stick between my legs on those occasions, but it doesn't take her long to warm up. And when she does? there won't be a stranger in the room because she'll quickly let you know who she is followed by at least ten minutes where she'll tell you as many words as she can get in before you leave.

She's a talker that one.

My drives home with her are filled with stories of what her little friends did at school and almost daily I laugh to myself when I remember how I used to do the same thing. Growing up it frustrated me to no end that my Mom would tell me "Megan, I don't know any of these people" but now, well I feel the same. Though I let her tell the stories anyway. The mantra "all the things she's telling you are big things to her" runs through my head as I nod along and just try to keep up with what Sophia, Collin, and Eden did today.

I never can keep up.
The words come a mile a minute and I try to remind myself to soak it in because I know she won't always talk to me like this. I'm not perfect though. There are times she and I have to separate because we're no longer bringing the good out in each other. It happens.

She's my sidekick. She's my heart and soul. She can also be a pain in my neck. But truthfully, I wouldn't have it any other way.

And the days where we've butted heads all day and ended on a bad note, well, those disappear when I sneak into her room and look at those baby cheeks (one of the last bits of baby on her) with those long eyelashes resting on them and those sweet, chubby hands curled underneath. She's so, so cool.

Life this side of three is tiring, but good grief it's also all sorts of awesome.

wordless wednesday

A few shots from the rest of our time in Myrtle Beach the other weekend...

s & k get hitched part 3: the wedding & reception

...you can find parts 1 & 2 here and here.

We all got the the wedding venue just in time to take a few pictures before the guests started showing up. Pretty soon, it was just about go time.

The wedding was stunning. It was moving. The flower girls did excellent. They even managed to stay up front the entire ceremony. My brother choked up. It was the sweetest thing. I am just so thrilled that they took the time to have this celebration with all their family and friends. It really was such a special day.

Then it was time for the reception. Which wan an absolute blast. There was tons of dancing (especially by K's great granddad), tons of laughter, tons of photos in the photobooths and tons of drinks. It was such a great party. It was so fun to just relax with friends and family that we don't get to see much. It was the perfect party.

So much fun. I need people to get married every weekend. It's just so fun.

s & k get hitched part 2: getting ready

Kiki and I had to get up far too early (especially after the previous night's shenanigans..) to help her Mom set up the venue for the big day. Or course we got out there to find that none of the vendors were on time so we set up as much as we could before leaving detailed instructions of what needed to be done when we went back to get ready.

K had set it up that both the lady doing our hair and the lady doing our makeup were coming to the pool house to meet us. So we laid out a spread of snacks and mimosas and set up for a big 'ol girls day.

We tried so hard to get the little ones to pass out and take a nap, but they were NOT having it. They wanted to be right in the thick of things; getting their nails did and hair curled. No lie, it was actually kind of sweet and I know it made their days being included with the "big girls".

Getting dressed at the house had a few other perks as well. K's grandma was able to meet us there and was able to help K get dressed which I know meant a lot to the two of them as well as K's Mom.

Eventually it was time to get ready, well after a million more pictures because, well, duh.

Then it was time to get dressed... and K was absolutely stunning.

Finally it was time to head over to the venue. So we packed all the girls up and headed on over....