who i've become...

I had a lot of ideas of how motherhood was going to go.

And then I had a kid and those ideas flew torpedoed out the window.

I used to swear I would never let my child watch Barney or Sesame Street or any of that junk. Now? I would move that purple creature or that red toddler into my house if it would buy five minutes of peace while my child is distracted.

I'm still trying to figure out where the modest girl who wouldn't even let someone near the bathroom door while she was in there went. And what she would think of the girl who explains what she's doing in the bathroom to a three foot person and heck, can't even remember the last time she shut the door to go in there.

Okay that's a lie. I do remember. It was the last time I snuck in there with a magazine and pretended I had to go so I could have five. measly. minutes. of quiet.

I was all "I'll never put my kids in character clothing. EVER." and then I had a toddler who loves Elmo so much, that I put in a rush order for Christmas just so she could have an Elmo t-shirt to wear.

Who searched everywhere for an Abby doll that was so worth the big smile I got from the little on Christmas morning.

I'm a germaphobe that is terrified of bodily fluids. But on more than one occasion, I've wiped poop on my pants (hers people), wiped a nose with my finger, and last week had her blow her nose on the sleeve of my coat because I couldn't find anything else.

I've danced around like a fool just to make her laugh. I've worn torn, worn out clothes to keep her in new ones. I haven't had a hair cut in years months but she has three pairs of new shoes.

I used to laugh at people who needed portable dvd players for their car, until I rode five hours with a screaming toddler. I bought one before the next trip.

I disliked Princesses and dolls and then I had a girl who loved Princesses and dolls and now I can't, for the life of me, quit buying them.

Somewhere along the lines it happened; I became a Mom. And it freaking rocks.

Elmo induced haze and all.