Tuesday, June 1, 2010

the big day.

Well.. it's that time.

The day that I've been dreading since Saturday, April 3rd, is here.

I'm heading back to ye 'ol workplace tomorrow.

Honestly, pretty sure I'm going to be an emotional wreck tomorrow. I'm having some severe anxiety about leaving my child with her babysitter. Seriously, can't even think about it.

I have absolutely LOVED these last two months with her. Not going to lie, hardest of my life, but by far the best ever. Especially since we've figured out a routine and have sort of figured each other out. She's made me realize how little sleep I can actually run on. She's also made me love in a way I didn't even realize I was capable of. That little angel is my heart and soul.

I love waking up and going to get her and just seeing her smile. She's so stinking happy. I've loved nursing her. Just me and her for a small amount of time. I'm sorry it didn't work out better for us, but the times it did were awesome.

I love curling up in bed or on the couch with her. Best naps of my life with my girl. I've loved watching her learn. I got to see her learn to play on her mat, the first time she held a rattle, and the first time she smiled.

Honestly, I'm most worried about missing all of her firsts by going back to work. I'm worried that she'll bond more with her sitter than me (I realize that will more than likely not happen, but I said I was a wreck right now didn't I?!). I'm just going to miss our special times together.

I'm going to miss all of our errands and lunches out with friends. I'm just going to miss having all the time in the world to spend with her.

I know it's all going to be fine. I read so many stay at home mom's blogs and I'm just jealous that they get to do that, but it's just not what's right for my family at this time. And I've got to do whats best for all 3 of us. Not just what I want. So I'm going to buck up and hold my head up and get through this work day tomorrow. And then I'm going to come home and love on my girl for hours.


Having a stare down after she repeatedly spit the paci at me. Yes, I'm pretty sure this one will be just like me!

9 comments:

Mandy said...

Good luck tomorrow! I'm sure you will both do great!

Practically Perfect... said...

That photo is so cute!

I'm sorry you have to go back to work - no fair! I'm not sure what I'll do when/if we get to that point, whether I'll do the stay-at-home mom thing or go back to work. I think that there are pluses and minuses of both, and like you said, you have to do what's best for all 3 of you! I'll be thinking of you!

Shaina said...

Awwww. I absolutely love that photo of the two of you! I'm sorry you have to go back to work - I hope tomorrow goes okay. I'm thinking of you!

Brianna! said...

:)
HOPE EVERYTHING WENT FANTASTIC!

xoxo
bB

Annie said...

i can not believe it has already been 2 months!!
i hope the adjustment goes smoothly for both you and your baby girl, i'm sure it will although it might be a little tough at first.
i wish you were able to stay home with her but i'm sure you are doing what is best for your family!! i know you are :)
when the day comes i'll be a workin momma too :)

Bonnie said...

You will be just fine! I had to go back to work after 8 weeks too. You will get into a new routine & things will work out. You just have to have the mentality of "I gotta do what I gotta do".
We just can't afford for me to stay home. I hate to say it & I feel kinda bad FOR saying it...but, it's a little bit of a relief to have someone that I trust holding, feeding, bathing, etc. all day while I'm at work. Babies need non-stop attention. I'm not saying I wouldn't not stay home if we could afford it - b/c I would in a heartbeat! I actually get jealous when reading about moms that are able to do that. Anyways, you will be okay & so will your sweet baby. E-mail me if you need some support! <3 Bon

d.a.r. said...

I was thinking about you today....hope it went okay!!

Bonnie said...

Was just thinking about you...hope you had a good first day back!

<3 Bon

Saskia said...

How's it going for you being back at work? Hope you are doing ok.

xx

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