Friday, July 27, 2012

words. and a cry for help.

I tend to write a post like I did on Wednesday and then have things kick my butt for days afterwards which is always so dang fun.

So someone remind me to read that post after nights like last night and days like today okay? Remind me that this is just a stage.

BG clearly isn't napping at school. For a child as dependent on sleep as she is, this is a disaster. By the time I get her at 5:30, she is as close to meltdown as one can possibly be. And then the first time she hears "no" or doesn't get her way, all hell breaks lose. For real.

I picked her up early on Wednesday and was told she didn't nap at all. I get a little pissy hearing that because she's two, I feel like you should make it happen, but, I'm not there all day so I don't know what happens. Anyways.

We had plans to meet up with Anne and her kiddos for a bit and I was determined to make that happen. Rookie. Having heard the "no nap" news, I should have immediately aborted said mission, but I didn't.

Y'all, there are no words. I was so embarrassed at her behavior (especially compared to Anne's sweet kiddos) that I just wanted to crawl in a hole. Nothing I like more than chasing her down in a food court and then having her pee in her stroller out of pure spite at being locked in there. Such good times.

*Me with sweet MB, trying to get a pic of all 3 kiddos but someone wasn't having it, 10 minutes after I got her in the car. Fun*

Yesterday was much the same. Once again, she clearly hadn't napped at school and was out of her mind tired. I took her on a run and she promptly cried the entire time. Obviously we cut that run short.

She hasn't had a proper bath in two days. After dinner, we reach crisis mode where she cries and just wants to be held until she goes to sleep. Add all this to the fact that Mr. P has been working ridiculous hours lately and it's been all me with her, and I'm spent.

I get the no nap thing. I mean, I get why it makes her so tired. I hate that our evenings are like this. Every single day. It exhausts me and it kills me. I feel like all my time with her is spent with at least one of us in tears (and by all my time, I'm clearly exaggerating but bear with me).

Add to the fact (keeping up with this crazy train?) that we're battling a little issue of her not listening to me, and I am completely overwhelmed. This morning, we were both in tears over whether she would wear one of two ponytails. Yes. I know, ridiculous.

All I told her was to sit still so I could do the second ponytail and she would not do it. She kept jumping around and moving and I lost it. It seems so simple to me; do what your Mother says yet we struggle daily.

I'm new to kids. I didn't have tons of younger siblings or cousins running around. I was never big on baby sitting, so I have no clue what I'm doing with her. How much can I expect of her? Telling her to "sit still" for five seconds should not be a big deal right?

I'm at my wits end y'all. I was sobbing by the time I got her to school this morning and it's put a damper on my whole day. I'm frustrated with her for not listening, I'm frustrated that I always feel like I'm on my own because of Mr. P's work, and I'm frustrated that she's always so tired.

I'm completely overwhelmed.

And this is no one's fault, in fact I hate to even place too much blame on her (except for the no listening thing), this is just my head right now. I know this is a season (hopefully a short one) and I know we'll get through this, I'm just overwhelmed. Freaking big time.

Tips on working with her on listening? Tips on keeping my patience (or finding some)? Tips? Anyone? Bueller?

Aka, help a sister out. I'm done son.


Erica said...

Ohhh boy. I went through this exact same stuff with my daughter aka Little Miss Defiant No Nap, but when she was 3.

Patience has never been a trait of mine, so it took a LOT for me, but it's really the only thing that helped.

Hang in there! This too shall pass.

Jen said...

girl! I lose my mind on a daily basis...I am a firm believer that our ladies are HEADSTRONG and there's not a lot wwe can do about it. Carsyn's little meltdowns even get to me.

sounds like we need to figure out a way to make her nap..I'll ask a few friends what tricks they used.

hang in there momma!

Ashley Paige said...

I'm going to keep coming back and reading your comments because the no listening thing is driving me INSANE. C will defiantly do the OPPOSITE of what I tell him 96% of the time and I just can't... So, so frustrating. Jist know you are NOT alone!! Hugs, Mama!!

Paige said...

I am so sorry that you are going through hard times. As one said "this to shall pass" and be sure that it will and you WILL look back on it and laugh when it does.

As having a 6 year old girl, I know very well what you are going through and still have times where my girl is strong willed. The number one advice that I can give to you is persistent and do not back down from a punishment that you may give. Childern like to push us and see how far they can get by pushing our buttons - this is something that will never change. So by being consistent this makes them understand that we are ALPHA MOM and we win :) ha! I know that is such simple advice but it worked for us.

Ashley said...

:( I'm sorry you're going through a hard time with her. For us, this was months 15-22 and they were the worst months with Cooper ever. We even put off having another child because he just was never happy and would never listen to us. I was at my wit's end. I spent many days in tears. I don't have much advice, because even now, Cooper rarely listens to us or does what we ask. Time outs don't work, spankings don't work. SOMEtimes, taking his toys away will at least get his attention. Other than that, invest in a giant box o' wine, and keep remembering that this is just a phase and it WILL end. xoxo

A.B. said...

Thinking of you, friend. I have no advice, but can be with you in solidarity when I feel like I'm having a go of it alone and G is testing all limits. So, I feel ya, sister. Maybe get a babysitter one night and YOU go out with friends? A little rest and rejuvination?

Dan and Liz said...

I don't comment here often, but we have similar things going on here with our 2.5 yr old son. I'm consistent with time out and many times my husband and I just ignore his tantrums...etc and after a couple minutes, he stops and goes on playing. We make sure to be stern though, so he knows we're serious.
As far as the sleep thing goes, it seems you know what to do and in our house, we respect and protect Sam's sleep like crazy so we don't have to deal with the meltdowns and tantrums and him being mean. It's just not worth it to me to keep him up when I know he needs his sleep :) We do keep him up on very special occasions, which is fun, but we know it's only every so often.
Has her teacher been putting her down for a nap and made it a point to let her know it's nap/quiet time and that's the only option? Does she let her wind down 10-15 mins before it's time for her nap? I'm not sure how it works at daycare or a sitter since I'm home with the Sam.
Good luck. She's adorable!

Angela said...

I am so with you on the back talk and not listening thing. I have a 3 year old and we have found timeouts work best with him or taking away privileges (such as no watching Octonauts before bedtime..etc...) it has helped. It is just a constant battle and being consistent is what will hopefully win the battle. :)

Linds said...

I'm dealing with similar things with Brayden. It's exhausting. Like, knock you out exhausting. I recently wrote a post asking my readers what to do with strong willed kids and got some great responses. I listed everything everyone told me on this post:

Honestly, for me, prayer has really helped things for me personally. It has just helped my patience level in dealing with Brayden. And hearing about 10-12 other moms telling me that they dealt with the same thing and that I wasn't alone and that it would pass... that helped a TON. Because sometimes it just feels like you're all alone and no one knows what you're feeling. I promise you, I do. Hang in there!

Anonymous said...

You are the parent and she will model her behavior after yours, especially at this age. Until this passes you have to deal with her in her reality. Cancel your plans, they will never happen with a child who is tired. Bring her home and put her in her room/bed with books and at least force her to take down time. Tell her you will play music when it's time to come out of her room, watch from a monitor and my guess is she will catch on that you are in charge and fall asleep. It does get better, hang in there and be your best adult self. If she won't sit still, then no pony tail, if she's too tired for school, then maybe a day home will help. Obedient children are an ongoing process.

Lee said...

It is so tough trying to mold little children into being their best selves. I have been a fulltime nanny for the last 5 years. I think routines, boundaries and consistency are the keys to happy, respectful children. If you keep the same boundaries and routines every day then they know what to expect. And you always have to follow through with what you say. Its not easy but if its important to you for her hair to look nice then she HAS to sit and let you do it. Its about so much more than the hair. It does set the foundation for how she will respond to you in the future about everything. If you can stay strong and patient now and win the battles now it will make it easier from here on out. Starting 10 minute s earlier than you need helps as well so you aren't stresed about being late and making it more intense. If you can find something she wants and not give it to get until she does what you ask that helps as well.Also lots of deep breaths and prayer to stay calm!
I remember telling a friend about so many bad days getting the kids off to school and saying we just argue about everything and i know its ridiculous that i am arguing with a 5 year old but sometimes its just the way it is...

Happiness Is... said...

I am so sorry!! We are going through the cranky pants thing in the afternoon, though I think in our case it is because T isn't getting enough to eat at school. Same deal - if he refuses what you offer, please just make him eat the things he WILL eat. Please?!? It is so hard to feel like the time you have together is poor in quality.

Anonymous said...

Hi there,
I'm a grandma now with beautiful toddler grandchildren. They can be trying I know. You probably already do this but with toddlers I try to remember to pick my battles carefully. You want to back up what you say, so try not to ask her to do something that's not that important. Such as how her hair is done in the morning. :) My granddaughter sometimes goes all day without her hair being brushed because my daughter didn't feel like picking that battle that day. And it's not a big deal, she's still adorable. I also agree with the previous commenter about talking to her daycare teacher about making naptime happen. I used to work at a preschool, and it can be done if the room is darkish, and quiet and cool. Most of all, hang in there, it will get better!

Laura said...

Girl, you are SO not alone with this. This age is such a challenge & it's kind of making me freak thinking that we are about to bring in a newborn to this crazy toddler phase. Grayson WEARS ME OUT on a daily basis. Last week we had so many days where we both ended up crying--it was pitiful.

I think with this age you just have to stand firm & try to stay as calm as possible. I know with G he tends to feed off of my energy. If I start losing my cool, it just prompts him to act like more of a hooligan. If I keep a calm voice, he doesn't seem to act as crazy & defiant.

Hope it gets better for y'all! This age is hard!


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