Sunday, March 8, 2009

Standards

So I mentioned in a post a few weeks ago that our church is doing this amazing marriage study at the moment. I am loving it. One of the things that I think has caused Mr. Perfect and I so much trouble in our marriage is that we didn't really get good pre-marital counseling. We had some, but no where near what I would recommend to an engaged couple. We were pretty much left in the dark with so much so these sermons have been a definite wake up call in our marriage.

Our preacher spoke to us today on the roles of parents, husbands, and wives in a marriage. I'm not going to give you the whole sermon, because frankly I don't remember it all. Good memory- I do not have.

What stuck out to both Mr. Perfect and myself was the section on setting standards in our marriage. Our Sunday School teacher actually did an excellent job preaching on this. I set a lot of standards for myself and people I surround myself with daily. I expect a ton from my co-workers because I have such a high standard for what I produce. And I usually do just what I set out to do. I definitely got my parents hardworking gene. Thanks! Mr. Perfect is the same. He sets very high standards for his employees. I always joke that there is no way I could work for him because he expects so much! However, it gets him the respect he deserves as their boss.

Where we both lack is the same; we don't set standards for ourselves in our home.

Huh?

We're very chill at our house. It works for us right now, but what we got to thinking about was setting a standard for our family. Example: I have told him time and again that when we procreate (love that word) the TV is gone. I kid you not. We will not have a family television. Mr. Perfect used to just dismiss this as one of my many passing fancies. But I'm serious. Have you seen what's on television today? I'm guilty of encouraging it by what I watch but come on. Saturday morning at work we were watching cartoons and a condom commercial came on. Are you kidding me?!? I don't want my children seeing that. My other thing with the tv is the materialism it breeds. I don't want my children "wanting" things that the tv shows them over and over and tells them they "need". I don't judge people that do allow their children tv time, it's just not what I think I want at this time. We will keep our small tv in our room for DVD's and such though.. I do need my FRIENDS!

I want my children to see Mr. Perfect and I set standards for relationships. I want them to see that he always opens my door for me and that we hug, and touch, and are affectionate. I want them to know that their parents love each other, therefore making it easier to love them. I want God first in our house. I want us in church when the doors are open. Our SS teacher said if you raise the standards so high, your children will more than likely set theirs just a bit below that. Well by golly, I'll set mine so high that their lower standards are still high!

We felt such a conviction on this today. We were disappointed in ourselves that we do set such high standards everywhere else but our home. That the second most important relationship we have in this world is the one we expect the least from. That's not how it's supposed to be. So we'll be setting up our standards for our family. I'm sure it's going to be a process but oh how worth it it will be. By the time God decides to bless us with our little one, I want the strongest foundation we can possibly have on which they will grow.

I love sermons like today when it's just what I needed to hear...

5 comments:

amy (metz) walker said...

I popped over from another blog and just wanted to let you know I stopped in. I completely understand what you mean about how sometimes the sermon seems to be exactly what you needed to hear. We had one like that several weeks ago and I was just blow away by it...

d.a.r. said...

Wow you have truly blessed my heart tonight, thank you for posting this!! My husband also thinks my "TV ban when we have children" is silly and something I will forget about or never implement. But I never watched TV when I was growing up, NEVER! We read, or played, or went outside, or did stuff with friends. I never, ever sat and watched TV as a family! Family time for us was not the Simpsons (sadly, in my husband's case, it was!), instead we played board games together. Dorky, but I want that for my kids too!

When my hubs comes home from Iraq this fall we are talking seriously about when a good time for starting our family (probably in 2010ish) and we definitely need to discuss our "standards" as well!!

God bless you, and thank you SO much for posting this!

Lindsey said...

This was a great post! I love when sermons speak right to us!

Love that you don't want a TV when you have kids. I couldn't agree more!

La vie est belle! said...

Good post! Josh and I were able to get a wonderful elder pastor to do our pre-marital counselling. It was very intense and we both were so greatful for it!

I tagged you in my latest post!

My name is Megan... said...

What a great post!!!! Husband and I need to be better at this!! I do feel it in my heart..the "us" time..the NO TV... I will tell you..since I met him, he has not owned a video game system. He was playing one way too often in college! We had each other, we got a puppy..there was just no reason..he gets it now..now, as long as we are on track with our standards..which can always use some updating!! xoxo

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