"toxic" friendships.

It doesn't happen often but every now and then you realize that one of your "friends" is actually not that great for you. Maybe it's the two of you together. Whatever the case may be usually some major things have to change in order for the friendship to work out and to not drag one or both of you down.

I grew up with awesome friends. We had disagreements, but nothing big. I pride myself on the fact that I'm still friends with every significant friendship in my life. We're a very close group. I know no matter what that we'll always be able to get together and have a blast, no matter how long it's been since we've seen each other.

In college I dated this guy that I was crazy about. I talked about him all the time. This girl, Jenn, had just recently transferred to our school and we hit it off immediately. I invited her to church with this boy and I and pretty soon we were inseparable. Until I caught her and him *ahem, together. Not cool.

I was devastated. But more for my loss of my friendship with her than anything else. Boys come and go I knew this, but I'd never had a girlfriend screw me over like that. My other girlfriends rallied around me and basically started an "I Hate Jenn" (come on, we were 19!) club. They bad mouthed her up one side and down the other and it killed me.

I learned a lot about myself through all of that. I forgave both of them. Completely. I would never date him again and it took me a long time to fully trust Jenn again, but I did. She sang at my wedding just a few short years later.

None of my other friends could understand it, but I was fine with it. I mean it when I say I'm fiercely loyal and I love completely. I am the girl you get a second chance with.

I met another girl when the hubs and I lived in Missouri that went psycho on me and destroyed our friendship. Months later she came back into my life by way of Myspace and I gave her another shot. She screwed me again. Consider that bridge burned hon.

Mr. Perfect tells me quite often that I am too nice and it lends me too many opportunities to get burned. But I honestly don't see it like that. I do stick up for myself and you will get a piece of my mind if you do something that I don't agree with, but at the same time, something made me choose to start a friendship with these people so I wholeheartedly believe in second chances.

I've mentioned before that my little brother, the Marine, is dating the cousin to a former friend of mine. A former best friend of mine. I've never said before what split us up, but it seriously broke my heart.

This girl, let's call her K, and I met when we were in college at the local university. We hit it off immediately. She has been by my side through literally, some of the worst things I've been through in my life. We've stuck together through some doozies. However, over time, we've also managed to bring out some of the worst qualities in each other. That's not always true, but in recent years, we were bringing out more bad than good. Never a good sign.

I'm not going to bad mouth her because I truly do love her. I can't tell you how many times I've cried on her shoulder or that she's gone to bat for me. She's an amazing person and I truly wish her well.

She Facebooked (can I make that a verb?) me the other day and poured out her heart to me. I just sat there in tears. I don't know what to do. Basically every reason that we are no longer friends, is still there. The Mr. is not a fan at all because of what went down, so our friendship does not have his support. And I will not be involved in something that makes him uncomfortable. But I miss her. I miss laughing with her. Some of the best times I've ever had have been with her. Plus with the Marine and Lora (her cousin) dating, I know there will be run ins and I don't want it to be awkward.

I don't think we'll ever return to how we were, but I don't know what my next step should be.... I know I can be a bit too forgiving, so I'm doing my best to tread carefully, I just don't know what to say to her.. Have any of you dealt with anything like this?

Gah. I hate this.