Tuesday, April 24, 2012

am i normal?

Last week, BG and I met a friend for lunch and some play time at Chick-fil-a.

*Side note, I may be the only person on the planet not in live with Chick-fil-a. It's good and all, but I really go for the awesome children's play place. Why can't that sucker be at Five Guys?!


Anyway, after we ate, we walked over to the play area to let the girls play for a while. There were actually two other ladies already in there with their kiddos and it didn't take us long to strike up a conversation.

These ladies were about my age, stay at home Moms who were ridiculously nice and I really liked talking too (plus, I walked away with email addresses. That's the Mom version of getting a number at a bar. Score!). The conversation was easy, the laughs were often, and other than the occasional pause to holler at children, there were not silences at all.

It was great.

Eventually one of them said something about leaving their kids. No, not at CFA, but for the night. And y'all, I was the only one of the four that had been away from her child for more than one night. Did I mention BG was the youngest one of the four?

"Oh, I just can't be away from him that long".

"I've never left her but that one night. She even went on our anniversary trip".


Hold the phone.

Now I love my child. I adore her. I pretty much think the sun rises out of her backside, but would I leave her for an anniversary weekend with my husband?

Absolutely.

An anniversary week? Well, probably not, but baby steps folks.

I found myself feeling guilty for my girl's trip weekend, which guys, I've only been away from her for two nights so I'm not exactly too far from them, but the point is, I would leave her. If need be.

If a girl's trip comes up, I'm there. If my husband springs for a couple nights out of town, I'm so there. If someone shows up and offers me a night all to myself in a hotel, I am SO there.

Am I normal? Because while I think my child is the coolest thing since sliced bread, I also know it does us both some good to have some time away from each other.

I wasn't always like that though. I wouldn't even leave her for dinner. It was bad. But then I realized that I was quickly losing the ability to even see M anymore and was only seeing BG's Mom. And as much as I love that title, I've been pretty fond of M for years now and would like to keep her around.

So now, occasionally, I'm okay with slipping away. It does us both good. It gives us a break when we're both on each others last nerve. And usually, the time away makes the reunion so much sweeter.

If I'm not normal, that's okay. I don't judge those ladies at all and I actually have to admire them for never needing to sneak away for a break. But this girl? Sometimes this girl needs a dang break. And if that's not normal, well, I'm completely okay with that.
2012.03.38 (13 of 67)

13 comments:

Meg said...

yes, you are normal! Every mama does their time away in different phases... I've spent up to a week away from my girls (mission trip out of country) and they were both under 3 at the time! (and most people thought I was NUTS!!!) Now I wouldn't and don't leave them often for more than a few nights, but they LOVE getting undivided time with their Daddy or their grandparents, and I LOVE having time to remember what its like to take a shower and dress in peace!

Katie @ Loves of Life said...

Um yea. totally. I left Eme overnight when she was 4 months old and went to the spa with my mom and sisters. Then, we did the big 5 day anniversary trip when she was 15 months. I needed it. It was amazing. I love my kid to death, like you, think she pretty much poops butterflies, but YES. Nights away sometimes? I need them :)

A.B. said...

Girllllllllll, normal. i'm going to say it was super hard for me to leave G, but seriously, every time I have, every time we've gotten a baby sitter i"m super thankful. I'd do it more often (not all of the time) if we could afford it and if I lived closer to fam.

Fo' reals. You gotta be you. Even without your bebe.

Shannon Dew said...

Girl those girls are the crazy ones! We left kp over night at like 6-8 weeks for our anniversary & we loved every minute of that night!!! If we had the opportunity to have a weekend alone I'd totally jump at the offer!!

Emily said...

You are SO normal! It's always hard for me to leave my little girl, but I'm always so refreshed and eager to be "Mommy" again when I get home. It's good for my marriage and it's good for the kid. Plus, she stays with her grandparents and gets to be spoiled rotten!

Britt said...

NORMAL.

Period.

hehe no but seriously. Especially when the babes turn into craaaazy toddlers? Nights away occasionally are a must, amen?? :)

Kate said...

Toooootally normal! While we haven't left L overnight (yet), she's stayed with grandparents 3x for date nights and she's only 2 mo old. I probably won't leave her overnight until she's a year old since I'd ideally like to breastfeed her that long, but we have a 4 night trip on the books for the end of Feb 2013 and plans to go to Europe for a week and a half when she's 16 mo. My parents traveled w/o me and my mom did nights away when I was little... I loooooved staying with my grandparents and with my dad! I don't think it's healthy for parents or child to be constantly together all the time. You have to nurture yourself and foster their independence too!!!

Also: While I die over a chicken biscuit and an Arnold Palmer, I'm not gaga over the rest of CFA's menu!

Brittany Ann said...

You are normal. And if those women said they haven't at least thought about leaving their kids fondly, they are lying. I say that because I haven't left Ella - I can't really. She only nurses and can't go to sleep without me. And if she wakes up in the middle of the night, she freaks if anyone but me gets her. (A not-so-nice perk to military life.) That being said, despite all that, I still would LIKE a chance to have a night away. I really would. Is it possible? No. Are we ready for that yet? No way. But would I do it if we could and were ready? Heck yes. I already dream of it fondly. Any mom would. Our job is exhausting and we all deserve a break. We know we need it, even if some moms aren't ready to admit it to themselves.

Lucy Marie said...

There is nothing abnormal about you. I've only done one night away and it wasn't until she was 16 months old ... but really, that was a result of circumstance and the fact that she was a devil child sleeper and I would have felt so guilty leavingher (NOT because of leaving her, but because of making someone else deal with the little terror during the night hours...) But I dreamed of the first night away. AND I LOVED IT when we did it. We haven't done another since, but really, again, circumstance ... nothing has presented itself yet. I'd really like at least one more night away before baby 2 arrives so we'll see :)

Lucy Marie said...

There is nothing abnormal about you. I've only done one night away and it wasn't until she was 16 months old ... but really, that was a result of circumstance and the fact that she was a devil child sleeper and I would have felt so guilty leavingher (NOT because of leaving her, but because of making someone else deal with the little terror during the night hours...) But I dreamed of the first night away. AND I LOVED IT when we did it. We haven't done another since, but really, again, circumstance ... nothing has presented itself yet. I'd really like at least one more night away before baby 2 arrives so we'll see :)

Amy @ Forever 29 said...

Yeah, I've always had a hard time relating to women who seem to be soooooo attached to their kids. I hope they just don't need as much "me" time as some of us and don't do it out of guilt or something. It's important to take care of yourself & also your relationship with your husband and time just the two of you. Kids need to learn to that when their parents are gone for a few nights the world is not going to end. As always, I think you are a great momma :)

Jess said...

TOTALLY NORMAL. It's women like that, who are oddly attached to their children, who don't take enough time for themselves, who end up hiding empty wine bottles in the dirty laundry.

Don't feel guilty. At all. You were a person before you became a mom, you're still a person after. I personally think it's good for our kids to be with another caregiver once in a while.

Amber said...

I would say you are absolutely normal! I know Morgan has only spent the night away from us once and it was hard but it was definitely a good break. A break is always good therapy for mom and child!

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