Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Trash The Dress

My anniversary is coming up in about 2 weeks. It's our 4th wedding anniversary. 4th.

We still have no professional wedding pictures.

I'll let that sink in.

Nowadays there are wedding blogs galore, theknot{dot}com, Facebook's "weddingbook", and so much more. Now maybe these were around 4 years ago, but if they were, I did not utilize them to their full potential.

Or at all.

I hated the wedding planning process. HATED. IT. Every single millisecond was like shooting darts under my fingernails. While I won't get into all of the drama that was the Imperfect's wedding, I can say that wedding planning and all that it entails qualifies in my "Top Ten of Crap Things I Never Want To Relive".

I pretty much sat back and let my mom ahem
"handle" things. One thing I did insist on was good photography. Oh, you silly, silly girl.

I wanted my photographer picked quickly. I only had a five month engagement and I wanted the photos ironed out; engagement photos, bridal shoot, rehearsal dinner photos, and of course, wedding photos. Mom and I picked a photographer pretty quickly. Then he disappeared.

We'd already paid a pretty large deposit and I could not get the guy to nail down a time for engagement photos. At this time, I'm in class, working, the Mr. still lives in SC, and had a fulltime job. We were a scheduling nightmare. Every time that the Mr. and I settled on with him, he'd flake. About a day ahead of time. Long story short, we canceled our contract with him after court battles and all, got our money back, and then picked a new photographer.

With 2 months left.

With the new photographer, we got our engagement shots done pretty quickly. While I don't lurve them (or own any- seeing a pattern?), they got the job done. We got our picture in the newspaper, etc. I got my bridal shot done and they came to the rehearsal and wedding.

They stayed at the wedding for an hour. That included our 30 min. ceremony.

We had to do a fake "exit" for them to photograph. I am still bitter.

This was all after we had gone over a "wedding checklist" of shots they MUST get and then some we'd LIKE for them to get, and after they reassured us we were the ONLY wedding of the day.

When we went back a month or so later to look at proofs, I quickly noticed a major oops.

They had not taken one single photo of me and the Mr. together. Not. One. Single. One.

Photographer's suggestion? "Well we can just crop you two out of one of the group shots!"

To this day I have no idea how that happened. I suppose it should have hit me, but HELLO! It was my freakin' wedding day!! It was such a blur I'm not quite sure I could have told you my full name that day. Plus.... I should not be doing your job and making sure you get your shots!!! I'll give you a hint.. this was on their "MUST" list on their checklist.

Not only that but these photographer's ended up moving or something right after our wedding. They sent us cd's with all the pics on it and proof books and we can't get in touch with them. I spent 2 months after the wedding putting together the album that came with my package deal. They sent it back and said they'd accidentally given me the wrong layouts and to redo it with new ones.

Are. You. Kidding. Me.

That album was the bane of my existence for 2 months. I was not redoing it.

Needless to say, all of this caused a lot of tension in my family for a while. I was furious at my parents (long story), my mom was frustrated with me for not redoing things, Mr. just looked like he couldn't believe what he'd just married into..

In our defense, we researched these photographers. They'd been doing business in our area for years with all positive feedback. I even recommended them to a friend (who never said anything to me about her pics- but I saw them, she got bride/groom pictures!). I have no idea how all this happened, but you still can't bring it up to my Mom without reopening the wounds (and it's SO not pretty!).

So, long story short, we have no pictures.

We do have some candids that I love that a family friend took and they are the one's I have on display and in an album. But the point to this whole tirade is...

I'm thinking about doing a Trash the Dress shoot..

©Photography by Jennifer Brum

I'm sure more of you know a bit more about this than me. Did anyone do this? Or are you thinking about doing this?

I don't want to ruin my dress. I paid a lot of money for it and while I'm not sentimental enough to be holding on to it for my daughter (a la my mom), I haven't decided what to do with it yet. I honestly don't even know where it is. But I really want to do this. I want a picture of me and the Mr. together. Oh yea. I'm totally making him do something with this too. Kind of like engagement photos but so not...? Does that make sense? Has anyone done anything like that?

I just want more photos! I feel robbed of pretty photos in my dress =(. Plus, I was the heaviest I've ever been at my wedding (I cannot stress how stressful planning was on me- and when I'm stressed, I eat). I just want to suit up in that dress and actually feel pretty....

I guess I haven't decided completely so I want some opinions. I was thinking about doing this for our 5 year anniversary, but (insert crossed fingers) I hope to be pregnant at that time so.. the sooner the better.

I really want something artsy and just plain awesome... Anyone got any suggestions?

Wait. I lied. Here is the only professional picture of me and the Mr. from our wedding day. This was our "fake exit". See why I want some new ones?!?!


emily_howard said...

The entire time I was reading this I was shaking my head. I am so sorry your photographer(s) put up a fight with you. I understand your frusteration and actually, you are taking it much better than I would be! The trash the dress photos I love. I was talking to a friend about them yesterday, I say you should do it and involve the Mr. too! Let us know what you decide!

Megan said...

I'm so sorry!! That stinks so much! I have heard similar stories, so if it helps you are not completely alone! I definitely think you should take some new pictures. It would be fun for you guys and everybody needs great pictures in their wedding dress!

Aliya said...

I cannot BELIEVE this story... I am so so so sorry!! Pictures were the most important thing to me, too and I cannot imagine having to deal with what you did... I think you should DEFINITELY do a Trash the Dress shoot... you totally deserve it!!

Lindsey said...

I can NOT believe that! How horrible!!! I'm so sorry friend, you should def do trash the dress!!

SassyEngineer said...

That is so awful! I look back at my photos, and although I wish we had gotten some more editorial type ones, we have a lot especially of the two of us and our photographers were super nice. Anyway, I hope you get to take some more - I think it is a great idea!

Jennifer said...

Ahh, I would be so mad! You can never replace pictures! You should do something with the dress. By the way, if these photographers are in the Savannah area, when I get married I want to know about who they are.

Jennifer said...

I don't think all of those helpful sites were as big as they are now. There is just so much information out there to help brides plan!

I love the idea of new pictures! But I think that you should treat yourself to a new beautiful dress too for the occasion!

My name is Megan... said...

that is TERRIBLE!!! Shame on photographers who ruin special days for people! Well, you looked beautiful! I am not opposed to trash the dress! My mother-in-law..being a wedding photographer..wants me to! she has see so many cool photos. She told me to wait 10 years and see how many of my best friends are married and willing to trash..then we can do a shoot together!

Lara said...

That's so awful! Your wedding photos are such a big thing; and what a thing for them to get wrong!

I'm so sorry you've had this experience. But I would recommend a trash the dress session. I've not done it (I'm not married yet), but I'd love to do something like this. I too wouldn't want to actually trash my dress, but wearing it in the ocean or in a park or something would be really nice, and you can still get the "stains" out fairly easily.

Anonymous said...

I'm a photographer that stubmled across your blog- so sorry to hear this! What I would do is schedule an "after session". This is what I call it, other photographers may call it something else. You can get dressed up again & he can wear something formal or a nice suit.
Check with Professional Photographers of America to locate a photographer in your area! Good Luck!


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