But, she has still been pretty awesome to be around and that does make me happy.
Monday was October 15th which is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness day. This day hurts my heart.
It hurts my heart because of my four babies that I know are waiting for me. It hurts my heart for dear friends who have buried babies. It just hurts my heart.
So we spent the day outside running together and checking out a local trail and just being together. And when the thoughts of the others creeped in, I focused on her. Her laugh, her smile, just her being here.
I'll hold the others one day. Today, I thank them for paving the way for her. Because without them, she wouldn't be here. Man, how different would life be?
Sometimes I feel like the worst Mom ever because I don't focus on the others all the time. But truth be told, I just can't. Because it still hurts. And it always will. But I do like having a day to just sit and think about them and be sad for them. I'll see them soon.
Today, the little refused a nap again. But she was pretty pleasant so I'll forgive her. And then the MIL came and got her for a few hours so I could get some things done around here. Love her.
Life is good right now. It's hard, and you'll have a post on that soon enough, but it's good. It is really, really good.
Read my other 31 Days posts here.