Thursday, October 4, 2012

savoring the small things: day 4


I've got to admit. I kind of wish this challenge wasn't going on right now.

Because I am in a MOOD. And it's hard to write about how you're soaking up the little things in life when you are barely surviving each day.
True story.

My head is a mess from the move. The stress, the changes, and BG's reaction to all of the above are wearing me down. And I can't even tell you all about it because it won't come out right, but just know that for me, I am tapped out.

BG and I made plans to head to the park for a play date this morning and I woke up not feeling it. In fact, I made all sorts of deals with myself that if such and such happened, we wouldn't go. Not because I didn't want to see the girls we were going to meet, but because my head is a mess right now. And I'm not a good version of myself. Plus I feel bloated (tmi?) and gross and just all out of sorts right now and I just wanted to wear yoga pants. Ugly truth is ugly.

But, none of those things happened and we went. We even had time to stop for Starbucks on the way (cake pop for breakfast FTW!) and we ended up having a blast. Which I knew we would. BG was uncharacteristically quiet but it's good for us to get out and about. We need a new normal.

We stopped by Ross on the way home to look for fall shoes for the little and found nothing. Oh wait, except for a $3 puppy toy that BG is in love with and has named "Amarito" (note: too much Dora Mom). He was worth the money (ha). He's the only thing making her smile right now.

The rest of the afternoon was spent holding on for dear life as we battled potty training regression, multiple changes in clothes, the dogs tearing up a few diapers all over the house, and the cat escaping out the back door with a naked toddler right behind him. I was in tears when I finally decided that it was time for park trip number two for the day. Oh and a run.

A run which was awful and put me back in tears halfway through when I realized I yet again, wasn't going to make my mileage. I'm hitting a wall y'all.

At the end of the run, I let BG run around the park for a bit because she had been so good and she promptly climbed to the top of the slide, looked at me, and peed. Y'all. I didn't deal with this much urine while house training three dogs. I just can't even.

So we packed it up to go home. Only we had no dry clothes because that outfit was her spare outfit so she rode home in her car seat naked. And I laughed. Because really? what else could I do. And then she laughed. And through her laughter she squeaked out "I had fun with you today Mommy".

And then I died from the cute.

She still had fun. Even though I lost my temper, even though I yelled (hangs head in shame), even though I cried in front of her twice, and even though I couldn't wait for the day to end, she still had fun. Because she was with me.

These have been a few rough days. But they will get better. We were just dealt a lot of change that truthfully, neither one of us have fully dealt with. So we're figuring things out. That makes us normal. We are still sidekicks. We are still best friends. We still adore one another. And we will make a new normal.

We'll just have to figure out a way for us both to have "fun" until we get there. But oh my gosh my heart was so full from those little words from my sweet, sweet little girl.

You can read about the other days in this challenge HERE.


Becca said...

Oh girl I so feel your pain, thanks for being honest ab where you are - praying for you!!

Melissa @ I Pick Pretty said...

Talk about great (and slightly stressed) minds - I totally relate to this. Isn't it funny how just a few words or the right look from our littles puts it all into perspective? Not that it solves everything - we're human, after all - but it sure does help on these challenging days. xo

[dianegatorfan] said...

Sorry you're having a rough time! Don't worry - everything will work out and BG won't remember all this upheaval. Hugs to you mama - praying this gets better for you fast!

Sarah said...

LOVE Y'ALL! Things will get better. Promise.

Rachel said...

Ohhh goodness her sweet little reaction just melted me!!! So precious! Thinking about you, sweet friend. Things will start looking up...just stay positive and make the best out of what you have right now. I'm here for you if you ever need to rant or vent...sending up prayers! Happy Friday!

Heather said...

GAH! That is the cutest. This age is SO difficult, I totally understand how things get overwhelming or bounce from amazing to awful in a matter of minutes. My girl isn't talking as much as BG yet, but I'm definitely going to keep this post in mind for days that get crazy and stressful. Thanks for sharing. :)

Anna said...

I'm so sorry you're having a rough time. I know it's a huge adjustment for you and BG. Let's plan a run/coffee/yogurt or something date!


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