Thursday, April 29, 2010


-How is it possible that my angel is going to be 4 weeks old on Saturday?! How is it possible that I ever lived without her?!

Her 3 week picture:

- I'm going to be buying my first ever one piece this year. This belly is not ready for the outside world! Thankfully I had my 3 week check up yesterday and am cleared to hit the pavement again. Now, I just need some energy to do so!

-We made our first road trip with Baby Girl yesterday. Recap to follow. It was quite interesting. We got ten minutes down the road and almost turned around and came home. Yep. But we made it.

-The weather down here is incredible. Oh how I love this time of year!

-The Marine will be home next month! I am out of my mind excited. I cannot wait for him to meet his little niece. They are going to adore one another!!

-I need to post nursery pics. I should have done that before we started using it!

Hope y'all are having an awesome week!

Monday, April 26, 2010

postpartum. the nasty, nasty truth.

I have struggled with this post for a while. But then I figured, I was completely shell shocked by how I have felt these last few weeks and if I can give one person a heads up, then good.

Everyone tells you about pregnancy hormones. On more than one occasion, people joked about it with Mr. Perfect, or with me. It's widely known that pregnant women = not the most rational. This is perfectly accepted. It's expected. I got emails all the time from my pregnancy subscriptions warning me of how I might feel. There's chapters in the baby books. I knew that I was being irrational when I was pregnant, but it was ok. The books said so.

What nobody told me is how I would feel after she got here. Yes, I knew I would be exhausted, I knew I would get frustrated. I didn't know that at times I would look at her and wonder how I got here? Most of the times that was at 3 am when she'd been screaming for hours.

Nobody told me that breastfeeding would make me feel like a complete failure. That junk is hard. I honestly thought it would just be something I could do. No one told me that it might not work for the two of us. No one warned me that she might possibly nurse for hours and still not be satisfied. No one told me that formula might be something we just had to do.

Thankfully I have a few friends who just went though this. My friend, KW, just showed up one day after I didn't answer her texts for a few days. She had gone through the same thing after she had her daughter. Sometimes she would just bust into tears for no reason. I couldn't understand back in September why she wouldn't answer my texts. Now I know.

My best friend, KP, couldn't breatfeed and wouldn't talk about it. I didn't understand how it could be that big of a deal. I couldn't understand why it was so hard. Now I know.

My emotions are out of control. I will be absolutely fine and then something will hit me and I am a disaster. I will go a complete day without touching my phone. Ignoring all texts and calls. I know I'm being a craptastic friend, but honestly? don't care.

Motherhood is hard. I prepared myself for the pregnancy. I even (kind of) prepared myself for the labor and delivery. But I never prepared myself for coming home with her. Its just me and her. Day after day. I've said it before, but I'm not good on my own. I get really down without human companionship and daily interaction with adults. So in ways, this is beating me down emotionally.

I was really beating myself up about breastfeeding. I thought it was my fault and I was taking it very personally that this wasn't going so well for us. Then I got an email from an awesome friend that made me realize I needed to chill out. So I'm going to see a lactation person tomorrow and see if she can help us, but if she can't, well, I'm not beating myself up about it. I tried.

Last night as I changed diaper number 300 of the day at 4:00 am I looked down at Baby Girl and fell in love all over again. I do that about 70 times a day. Because the thing is, yea, this is hard on me, but its hormones and it's NORMAL. It may not be talked about as often as the hormones of pregnancy, but its very real. But the fact of the matter is, I can't stop thanking God for this little angel. When I'm up at night feeding her, I remember how long I was afraid I would never have the chance to do the late night feedings, or change my child's diaper. I waited years for this and if I have to take the bad with the good, I will. Because shes so worth it.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Show Us Your Love...

If you head over to Kelly's blog today, you'll see tons of stories of how other bloggers met their significant others. Since I don't think I've ever shared the story of how I met the Mister, I decided to jump in. So here goes.

Back in 2004, I was quite a different person than I am today. Of course I was. I was 21.

I was into everything, always going out, staying out all night with friends, you know, being your typical 21 year old. However, I was still pretty responsible (don't ask me how, now I can't drink a glass of wine and make it to work on time the next day) and was really good at my job, so I got chosen to be one of a group of people chosen for a special project in Myrtle Beach, SC.

I was working retail when I finished up school and got picked to go help open another one of my company's stores opening up in South Carolina. I was super stoked. It was going to be 2 weeks in Myrtle Beach with some of my favorite co-workers. I couldn't wait to go hang out on the beach and go out every night.

Oh yea. And work. But whatever.

My boss and I headed up a week earlier than the rest of the team from our store. I met a bunch of the workers from the MB store and loved them. Before long, I was going out every night and getting to work at seven each morning. I was beat. But I was having so much fun.

Right before grand opening, I was working in the stockroom of the footwear department, when I met him. I was minding my own business working on a project on the computer when one of the MB store managers comes barging in. He turned to me and asked me what I was doing on his computer and then commenced to giving me a hard time about not asking to be on his computer.

I lost it. I was exhausted and had been working all week at their store and was pissed off that he was yelling at me. So I fired back. I don't remember exactly what either of us said but I do remember storming out of there.

Well he got my attention. I noticed him every where the rest of grand opening. He kept giving me a hard time about stuff which just made me look for him more.

Yea, middle school flirting.

Finally he asked for my number. But then he never called.

So I called him. And that night we had our first date.

He worked late so I met him down on the beach and we talked for a bit. Then we decided to take a tour of the most haunted places in Myrtle Beach. So right up my alley. I was a smitten kitten.

The night was awesome, but I had to leave the very next day. He came to our hotel and helped me and my boss pack up. He told me he'd call and we left it at that.

Once again, he didn't call. So one night while out with some friends (and after a few brewskis), I called him. Next thing I knew I was inviting him down to go out with us for my birthday. That night.

He drove down. Got to my town about eleven. It was my birthday, six nights after we met. Just 3 months before we got engaged. Just 8 months before we got married.

It was my fastest relationship ever. It's also the best one I've ever been in. Obviously since I'm still in it. I adore that man. I have from the minute I met him. I am so happy with him and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life loving him.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

newborn pictures.

We are so the typical parents of a first born.

We are documenting every second of this child's life. And why shouldn't we?

So last week we took Baby Girl to a photographer recommended to me by a girl I used to work with. I had seen photos she'd taken of my friend's daughter and they were absolutely precious, so I was pretty excited about getting Baby Girl's pictures done.

I wanted to get them done quickly and was so excited that we got in as soon as we did.

It was definitely an experience. Taking photos of an un-potty trained newborn with no diaper? Not fun. But I think the pictures were so worth it.

After the 45 minute ride out to the lady's studio, Baby Girl was wide awake. And hungry. She needed to be asleep for photos, so we gave her a good 4 ounces of formula and she was out.

Of course all that food had to go somewhere.

She fought sleep for quite a while. Then she ended up peeing all over multiple props and even left another surprise for the lady. On a white blanket. My child...

It took 2 hours and multiple set changes, but we definitely got some good photos. I am ridiculously glad we got these done. They are definitely photos we can cherish for years to come.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

2 weeks old..

Well we survived the second week.

Let me be honest here; parenting? Hard work.

It's much harder than I thought it would be. It takes a lot to figure out what this adorable little creature needs from me. And b*reastfeeding? Most frustrating thing I've ever done.

We are finally figuring out this little angel. She likes to eat.

A lot.

So much so that I cannot possibly keep up. We had been supplementing with formula for a couple of feedings each day. That got upped. I'll be honest. I was horribly upset with myself. I really wanted to strictly b*reastfeed this child. But I can't. And after a lot of tears and some encouraging words from my hubs, I've realized I have to do whats best for her. And homegirl has to eat.

So now she eats about every 2 hours. Sometimes she'll surprise you and go 3, even 4, but those times are rare. During the day she naps in the living room and can sleep through anything. About 8 or so, we dim the lights, turn down the tv, get her bathed (a couple nights a week), put her pajamas on, and then have quiet time. We are trying to teach her the difference between night time sleep and day time sleep.

She's still sleeping in her cradle in our room, but I'm not going to lie, I've been known to pull her in the bed with me if I think we both need some good sleep. She'll sleep a good 4 hours with me. I always said I would never co-sleep, but when you're exhausted, you'll do just about anything for some sleep.

This week, Baby Girl has learned how to inch herself where she wants to be. If she's in our bed, she'll push with her feet and slide herself up to where she thinks she should be. If she's laying on us, she'll push with her feet until she is cuddled up to your neck. It's so cute!

We took her on her first walk around the neighborhood. This girl likes to be on the move. She loves car rides. If she doesn't fall asleep, then she just looks around. She stayed awake for her whole walk and just took in the sights. I can't wait to do this daily with her!

She makes the funniest faces when shes hungry. She gets all excited and shakes her head all over the place. It can get frustrating after a while when you're trying to get her to latch on, but its so funny that you can't get mad.

I've almost figured out the difference in her cries. I certainly know hungry! Also, if she thinks shes not getting enough attention, she lets out this high pitched squeal until everyone is looking at her. Its hilarious!

She will still sleep anywhere. She likes her swing, her bouncy chair, loves her Moses basket, and will sleep anywhere that I am. She loves faces. She'll sit and stare at you for a few minutes and just take you in.

Oh I love her..

She took her newborn pictures this week and she was wonderful. I mean, she peed everywhere and also gave the photographer another surprise, but other than that, she was great! We went up to one of my workplaces and showed her off. Of course they all loved her. Any doubt?!

So yea.. this is hard. I'm exhausted, and still really sore down there (*ahem...), but I can't get enough of her. I literally could hold her and stare at her all the time. This little face has turned my world upside down, but I truly cannot imagine life without her now.

Here she is at 2 weeks. Yes, she knows shes gorgeous!

pictures from our time at the hospital...

Just a few pictures of our first few days together...

April 1

Last shot of just the two of us..

At the hospital

Still had it good here..

Doesn't he look super comfortable?

Baby Girl's Birthday- April 3
Got my epidural- go time!

Us with Gina


First diaper change.

My after labor dinner. Absolutely delicious.

Day 4- April 4

My miracle baby with her miracle worker

Sharing our Easter dinner with Baby Girl

More visitors..

Meeting her new bestie!

Day 5- April 5, headed home!


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