Monday, October 27, 2014

36 weeks

How Far Along? 36 weeks

Total Weight Gained/Loss? 34 pounds. ouch.

Sleep? a little better. I stay tired but I've been having a little bit easier time getting to sleep these days. I still get up at least four or five times a night to use the restroom. That's a chore.

Best Moment of the Week: it's been a decent week. I'm not sure what sticks out as the best though....

Movement- Lots of rolls. There is a foot that is so far out my right side I don't know how any organs are still there. He's found my pelvis and I guess his head or something is there, and OMG the pain.

Food Craving- water. Still. Nothing else really.

Food aversions- everything. Still getting too full too quick and miserable. I've been getting nauseaus a lot lately too. There's been some pukage. Not fun.

Symptoms- pelvic pain. Heartburn. These weird feelings of things being "off". Like everything is slightly off kilter and out of place. I keep getting these feelings of anxiety too. Not sure if these are pregnancy related but I am not a fan.

Labor Signs- still Braxton-Hicks. Lots of them.

Belly Button- flat.

What I miss- my lady bits not hurting. The pain down there is out of control.

What I'm looking forward to- an appointment where they tell me I'm making progress. Can I get that please?!?!?

Big Sister Status- Big Sister is getting ready. I've started talking to her a little bit about the hospital and me being gone for a couple of days. She's not a fan of that at all. She's been a bit clingy lately as well and ends up in our room most nights. I'm cool with that though. She won't be there forever and she does have a HUGE change heading her way. A few extra late night snuggles won't hurt.

Monday, October 20, 2014

35 weeks

How Far Along? 35 weeks

Total Weight Gained/Loss? will find out Thursday

Sleep? the insomnia is still fierce. I actually never had this with E so it's throwing me off a bit. And I'm up and down a lot these days for bathroom breaks which is basically like rolling over an elephant so.... sleep isn't so great.

Best Moment of the Week: his nursery is done! yay! Also, a woman at a consignment store asked me when I was due the other day and when I said "next month", she looked genuinely shocked and told me I did not look big enough to be due next month. I wanted to kiss her on the mouth. Love her forever now.

Movement- Movement is changing a lot. It's a lot of rolls. A lot of rolls. And they all seem to be on my bladder. It's so weird feeling. Also that foot/leg may come out of my right side. You can literally grab his leg. It's crazy. He sticks it so high up that I feel like my rib may crack (which at this point with E, I swore she did).

Food Craving- water. Lots of ice water. Other than that I'm over food.

Food aversions- everything. I get too full to quick which blows.

Symptoms- pelvic pain. He is just so LOW. The waddling is fierce. And funny. I mean I can laugh at me. That's fine.

Labor Signs- still Braxton-Hicks. Lots of them.

Belly Button- flat.

What I miss- being able to bend over and not walk like a duck.

What I'm looking forward to- him being here. Seeing him on the ultrasound again made me so excited just to lay eyes on him. To see who he looks like and to just hold him. I swear it's not going to be real til he gets here so it needs to happen!

Big Sister Status- We talk about him a bit more. She said she's sure he'll be as cool as she is tonight. We shall see...

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

thoughts on two..

I'm nervous y'all. Like real nervous.

I've read enough blogs over the years to know I'm not alone in my thinking, but it doesn't really change things. You still think things like "they just don't know how much I really love my daughter" or crazy things like that.

Before I had BG, I was convinced that she wouldn't compare to how I felt for my dog. And while I realize how crazy that sounds now, pre-Mama me had nothing to compare too. She just knew that she really, really, REALLY loved her dog. That dog was my child. She could do no wrong. I loved her like my child because I didn't have any of my own. It was all I knew.

Then, I had Baby Girl. And Lacy became.. a dog.

I still loved her yes, but little things that I never noticed drove me nuts. Like how her nails tapped on the hard wood. Or how her hair got EVERYWHERE. Or how she would lick the baby's bottles and pacis driving me into a sterilization nightmare. And when she barked when I finally got the Kid Who Never Slept asleep?? RAGE. Like head spinning, Exorcism of Emily Rose, spinning.

Everyone told me it would happen. They told me the two would never compare. And I listened to them, but I didn't believe them. They clearly didn't love their dogs as much as I loved mine. That was the only explanation.

Now? Well there's a second kid coming. And while I am excited (there should be a disclaimer here that I am one of those people that get excited when the baby is here. Not really before.. I'm just wired that way), I am also terrified that this kid will never compare to BG.

Don't throw things. I'm allowed to be worried. I'm allowed to be nervous.

I'm not comparing them as two different people, I'm just saying BG takes up a HUGE chunk of my heart and it scares me to think of him coming and taking some of that.

I'm insane. But I'm not. I'm just saying it all out loud.

I know that the minute he gets here my heart is going to expand and stretch and make room for him that I didn't even know I had. That I didn't even realize it had the capability to do. But right now? Right now all I see is a huge change and we all know this girl is not a fun of the C word.

BG and I have had 4 1/2 years together. I'm not a stay at home Mom and I work a lot, but there have been long stretches of her life where I did stay home. And even working, we spend a lot of time just me and her. There are lots of trips taken just me and her. Lots of activities. Lots of bedtimes. Lots of meals and movies and shopping trips. She's been my faithful companion for 4 1/2 years. She's been my shopping buddy, my running buddy, my park buddy. The girl always down for a Target trip. She's my heart and soul in 4 foot form. And thinking of changing that dynamic scares me to death.

Honestly, I don't know how it's going to be with two kids. I've never had two. But I know that my relationship with E is special and deserves time put into it like I always have. I'm actually a bit excited at the challenge of making sure that both kiddos get special time one on one time. I look forward to getting to know this new babe. To see who he is. To see how he ticks.

But I'm still scared of how I'll feel with two. Less than six weeks til I know....

Monday, October 13, 2014

34 weeks

How Far Along? 33 weeks

Total Weight Gained/Loss? 34 pounds. That's been my total for about 2 months now. Maybe we'll stay there. Fingers crossed.

Sleep? not so great. I'm exhausted. But my mind NEVER stops. Last night I stared at the ceiling for 3 hours while I stressed about something for work that was not even worth stressing over. Seriously. Losing my mind. I've never been so tired.

Best Moment of the Week: Got to hear his heartbeat again. In the 140's as usual. Love that sound.

Movement- His foot may come out my side. Not kidding. I don't even know how his foot is in the place it is. It's insane. He still moves a lot though I have noticed a decrease over the last couple of days.

Food Craving- just water. Cracker Barrel roast occasionally. Cheerios still.

Food aversions- most things. Being full sucks and it doesn't take anything to get full these days.

Symptoms- joint pain off and on. My ankles and knees have been on fire. Still a lot of pelvic pain. Heachaches but I think I figured out that those were from my new prenatal vitamins so I switched back to my old ones. Some weird feelings of things being "off". I don't know how to explain it. But it's weird. Back pain like whoa.

Labor Signs- still Braxton-Hicks.

Belly Button- pretty shallow, but hanging on.

What I miss- my back not hurting.

What I'm looking forward to- finishing his room and him getting here. I'm getting anxious to see this little one. And to see these feet that may come out my skin.

Big Sister Status- she's getting pretty excited. I started talking to her the other day about going into the hospital. She doesn't like the idea of me being gone for a couple of days so I think we'll do some more talking on that. I'm getting nervous about being away from her. We're pretty much the best of pals.

Monday, October 6, 2014

33 weeks

How Far Along? 33 weeks

Total Weight Gained/Loss? not sure. I'll find out Thursday.

Sleep? still not great. I'm up and down a lot again which is not fun at all. But pretty sure that's the norm for a while so here we go...

Best Moment of the Week: his room is really coming together. It's one of my favorite rooms ever.

Movement- all the time. And they are FIERCE. This kid.. seriously. His movements hurt. Sometimes I legit worry he may punch his way out. I don't remember Ella's movements being like this.

Food Craving- lots of water still. and deli sandwiches. I've given in to that desire a few times this week. oops...

Food aversions- sweets are just too sweet and usually give me a headache. That doesn't mean I've completely said goodbye but.. I really should

Symptoms- still so much pelvic pain. There are no words really. I'm really sore if I sit still too long and really stiff. And the headaches are back. Freaking yay.

Labor Signs- lots of Braxton-Hicks. STILL.

Belly Button- pretty shallow, but hanging on.

What I miss- being able to put on my own shoes.

What I'm looking forward to- finishing up his room. It's coming along! I also washed his first load of clothes. That Dreft smell is like crack. No joke.

Big Sister Status- she's hilarious. She is loving the glider in his room and likes to curl up in my lap to read in there. I asked her the other day if we should put a stool for her next to the glider so that she can sit up there with me and him when he gets here. She said she would rather just sit in my lap. I asked her where he would sit and she promptly replied "he can sit on the stool.". I think we have some explaining to do about just how little this babe will be....


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