savoring the small things: day 4

DAY 4
I've got to admit. I kind of wish this challenge wasn't going on right now.

Because I am in a MOOD. And it's hard to write about how you're soaking up the little things in life when you are barely surviving each day.

True story.

My head is a mess from the move. The stress, the changes, and BG's reaction to all of the above are wearing me down. And I can't even tell you all about it because it won't come out right, but just know that for me, I am tapped out.

BG and I made plans to head to the park for a play date this morning and I woke up not feeling it. In fact, I made all sorts of deals with myself that if such and such happened, we wouldn't go. Not because I didn't want to see the girls we were going to meet, but because my head is a mess right now. And I'm not a good version of myself. Plus I feel bloated (tmi?) and gross and just all out of sorts right now and I just wanted to wear yoga pants. Ugly truth is ugly.

But, none of those things happened and we went. We even had time to stop for Starbucks on the way (cake pop for breakfast FTW!) and we ended up having a blast. Which I knew we would. BG was uncharacteristically quiet but it's good for us to get out and about. We need a new normal.

We stopped by Ross on the way home to look for fall shoes for the little and found nothing. Oh wait, except for a $3 puppy toy that BG is in love with and has named "Amarito" (note: too much Dora Mom). He was worth the money (ha). He's the only thing making her smile right now.

The rest of the afternoon was spent holding on for dear life as we battled potty training regression, multiple changes in clothes, the dogs tearing up a few diapers all over the house, and the cat escaping out the back door with a naked toddler right behind him. I was in tears when I finally decided that it was time for park trip number two for the day. Oh and a run.

A run which was awful and put me back in tears halfway through when I realized I yet again, wasn't going to make my mileage. I'm hitting a wall y'all.

At the end of the run, I let BG run around the park for a bit because she had been so good and she promptly climbed to the top of the slide, looked at me, and peed. Y'all. I didn't deal with this much urine while house training three dogs. I just can't even.

So we packed it up to go home. Only we had no dry clothes because that outfit was her spare outfit so she rode home in her car seat naked. And I laughed. Because really? what else could I do. And then she laughed. And through her laughter she squeaked out "I had fun with you today Mommy".

And then I died from the cute.

She still had fun. Even though I lost my temper, even though I yelled (hangs head in shame), even though I cried in front of her twice, and even though I couldn't wait for the day to end, she still had fun. Because she was with me.

These have been a few rough days. But they will get better. We were just dealt a lot of change that truthfully, neither one of us have fully dealt with. So we're figuring things out. That makes us normal. We are still sidekicks. We are still best friends. We still adore one another. And we will make a new normal.

We'll just have to figure out a way for us both to have "fun" until we get there. But oh my gosh my heart was so full from those little words from my sweet, sweet little girl.

You can read about the other days in this challenge HERE.

savoring the little things: day 1

31 DaysIt's kind of funny that this whole 31 Days challenge started today. What's even funnier is that I picked to write about "savoring the little things" and then proceeded to do nothing but wish away the day as I was a stressed out mess of a person today.

It actually got to the point about four o' clock this afternoon that I was all "what the heck am I going to write about??" when I looked down at my dirty pajama (yes, pajama) pants and my screaming toddler hanging from my leg for the fortieth time today and could not think of one single thing I wanted to remember about this day.

So I decided to "make" a little thing. Ha. I decided that BG and I would ride down to Sonic and get a slushie (which she loves) and then we would come back to the house and I would take really cute pictures of us sitting on the front porch enjoying our slushes together. Well then life happened and I took the wrong turn in our new town and went around my butt to get to my elbow and while driving way out of the way, BG decided to turn her slushie over in her seat and bathe in it.

Yay. Little moments I live for.

Or not.

By the time we got home, I was even more of a frazzled mess than I was before we left. So stripped off BG's now sticky, wet clothes, put her patch on her, and set her down in front of the tv with some Dora so I could finish my (non spilled) slush in quiet.

Eventually the dogs started to whine to go outside, so I got up to let them out. Only it was pouring, so they wouldn't go (typical). But before I could shut the door, my toddler pushed through and was outside in the rain before I could stop her.

She was laughing and splashing and squealing "Look Mommy! It's raining from the sky!!" and the little pointer finger was just a going and before I could stop myself I did it; I laughed.

Truth be told, I should have brought her in. It was patch time, which can't get wet, she already has horrible respiratory problems, and she was in her skivvies, but I just couldn't do it. Because she was loving it. And for the first time all day, she was laughing and carrying on like I so love to see her do.

So I let her stay outside. Though I did insist on a rain coat.
I absolutely adore this kid. Crazy as she makes me (and it's pretty darn crazy), I wouldn't trade one single day with her. And watching the joy she gets in the small things, things like catching raindrops, well, you can't put a price on that. It's awesome.


And a huge, huge thank you to my girl AP for designing my button here. You know if all the "cool kids" are doing it, I want to too! Thanks lady!

just like me.

It's no secret that my little one is her Daddy's twin. From the moment she popped out I have heard "she looks just like her Daddy!" and that has never wavered. There are flashes when she looks a bit like me, but more often than not, those two are twins.

And that's okay with me. Because she's pretty darn adorable and he's pretty cute too. And makes a pretty girl. So there's that.

But I'd be lying if I said that I don't search her face constantly for something of me. I don't usually find it but there's other ways she's like me; we have the same feet, the same birthmark on our thighs, the same thin hair, and the same light eyes.

But more than the physical differences is how much alike we are in personality. And y'all, that part is scary.

We share similar (ie identical) attitudes, stubborn streaks, tempers, and smart mouthedness (just made that a word). It's lead to many, many fights already and I know will bring many more to come.

The older she gets though, the more I'm seeing individual qualities from each of us that are shining through in her and this morning? I saw that hands down, my child got her love of animals from me.

Yep. That would be a baby squirrel. And my kid is in love.

Last night on our run, my friend and I stumbled upon this baby squirrel in the sidewalk headed for the highway. Because I'm a sucker lover of the furry creatures, I couldn't just leave him to get ran over. I knew if I messed with him, there was a possibility the Mama wouldn't come back, so I grabbed a plastic bag (trash in someone's yard) and moved him to the other side of the tree he obviously fell out of, with the hopes his Mom would come back.

Stacy and I continued our run (in the pouring rain natch), and then ran back by to see if he was still there. He was. He was absolutely soaking wet.

Again, because I'm a sucker lover of the furry creatures, I couldn't leave him, so he came home with me.

After getting up every two hours last night to make sure his heating pad was still on, I'm ridiculously excited that a rescue group is coming to get him today. But it was fun for the night.

Also, seeing how excited BG was with him makes the night worth it. Oh, and she named him "Heart" as in "I love you sweetHeart!". Yes I cried as she said that over and over while petting him gently. I love her heart.

Looks like the animal lover gene made it to another generation. This is one way that I am thrilled that she is just like me.

And yes, she got scrubbed down after this. Don't you worry...

baby fever.

Yesterday while Mr. P got dinner ready, BG and I headed to her room to play with her dolls for a bit. We fed three of them and then I watched as she rubbed their backs and covered them up to go to sleep.

I snuck out of the room for a minute while she was preoccupied with one of her "babies" and ran to get Mr. P to see her. We peeked around the corner to see her emerging from the bathroom with one of her little washrags.

As we poked our heads around the corner into her room, we saw her standing over one of her dolls wiping her face down and saying "all cwean baby. All cwean".

It was then that my heart exploded.

See BG has a major case of the baby fever. She loves them. Even the ones that she was once terrified of, are now okay. She walks around with them, she pushes them, she even insists on at least one of them sitting in her high chair with her as she eats.

Daily I have to insist that she leave her doll in the car when we get to school. I remind her how upset she'll be if the baby gets left at school that night. Then I promise her that Baby will be there when I pick her up in the afternoon.


When my friend Anne had her baby back in March, BG and I ran up there to meet her and BG was enthralled. For days afterwards I heard "where'd Mary Brooks go Mama? Where'd my Mary Brooks go?". She couldn't stop talking about her.


And now with a baby cousin? I hear about "baby Adalyn" a good portion of every day. And you've never seen a smile quite as big as the one on my sweet girl's face when she got a hold of her new cousin. The girl was in love.


This is one of the parts of being a girl Mom that I will never get tired of. To see a child that is ninety to nothing most of the day, take the time to slow down and care for her "babies", well, it just about melts me. As evidenced by the tears I felt welling up in my eyes as I watched her last night.

Her teacher at school is pregnant. Yesterday when I picked her up from school, she brought up "Miss Bitme's" baby. I asked her if she knew who the baby was.

"Mary Kate" she said without a moments hesitation.

"And where is Mary Kate" I asked her next.

"In Mary Kate's belly" she replied.

I giggled and then couldn't resist;

"And where is your baby sweetie" I asked.

"In my belly" she said with a grin.

Daddy didn't find it as funny as I did. ;)

I'm pretty sure this girl has a case of the fever. And I love how much she loves babies. I love how taking care of them shows her sweet, sweet spirit. I love how rocks them and how she wraps them in blankets. I love how she insists they need diapers and need to be wiped.

I'm not a fan of her bringing me a "baby" with yellow highlighter colored on her pants to which she tells me "baby dirty. See Mom? She needs diaper", but I am a fan of her putting two and two together and doing her best to take care of said baby.

I love my baby. I love who she is becoming. I love watching her grow and develop.I love watching as she picks up traits from us that she turns around and uses herself. It's so awesome watching her mind work.

This part of parenting? This part is just so, so cool.

let them be little.

I'm not a patient person. At all.

On a daily basis, BG tries my patience. She is strong willed to the core y'all and we are ridiculously alike in attitude which is scary.

Sometimes I find myself wishing she would just feed herself, or dress herself, or heck, was big enough to walk up the stairs by herself just so that I could finish what I'm doing. Yea, bad huh?

The other day I watched as she ran all over a pumpkin patch a local church had. I'd taken her up there to get out of the house for a few hours and she loved it. I told her she could pick out one pumpkin thinking she'd pick up one of the small ones. I had to laugh as the went for one of the biggest ones and tried to pick it up.

While I watched my little ball of energy run from pumpkin to pumpkin, a lady with a tiny baby walked up next to me. I watched as she set him up against the pumpkins for that typical "Baby's 1st Halloween" picture and I smiled. Then I realized I could hardly remember BG ever being that size.

Tears.

She's already growing so, so fast. Why would I want to rush it anymore??


Someday she won't need me anymore. Not like she does now. There will be no sweaty, toddler hand in mine as we go up the stairs. There won't be food on my hands as I try to help her figure out the logistics of her fork. There won't be a sweet little soul in my lap as I explain to her how to put on her shoes and socks. I won't have a soaking wet shirt as I try to wrangle a little one in the tub.

She's only little once.

This morning I took the time to really sit and watch her get ready. As I was getting her dressed I explained to her how to put on her pants, socks and shoes yet again. Then it happened; she stood up and pulled up her pants.

My lap was empty.

It's going so, so fast.


I find myself always looking to the next step, just waiting on it to get here. When she can walk, talk, and feed herself. I don't want to miss anything waiting for something else to happen. Today I need to focus on just that; today. I need to just let her be little. I need to learn to just be. To calm down and enjoy this time with my little girl.

Because at times when my patience is at it's thinnest and the days seems oh so long, the weeks and years are flying by. She's only this little once.

perfection in a Tuesday

Tuesday was pure perfection.

Tuesday is my one day a week that I don't have to go into the office at all. Sometimes I use it to take care of all the errands that I can't do the rest of the week and then BG and I are exhausted at the end of the day after running around like chickens with our heads cut off.

This past Tuesday I decided we weren't going to do that. We were just going to take the day and hang out and enjoy each others' company.

So we did.

BG starting her day with some tv time and letting me drink some coffee was the perfect start. She usually won't sit still for more than fifteen seconds, but that morning she gave me FIVE minutes. Five minutes people. Basically a lifetime.

After showing no signs of a morning nap happening, we packed it up and ran one errand (so I lied). We came home for lunch and quick nap and then spent the rest of our afternoon eating popsicles, playing at the park, baking cupcakes and playing.

It was awesome.

Sometimes this age is so dang frustrating. She's so independent but she's still so little and I'm still so scared to just let her go. All of the above usually leads to tantrums of frustration that leave both her and I so rattled. But at the same time, this age is a blast.

Take Tuesday for an example. She spent the day saying "a,b,c" over and over, walking around pretending to eat off one of her tea plates, and climbing up the slide and going down it all by herself. Yes, I cried at the park because she's just so big. When did she become such a girl? And not the inanimate (basically) baby object she once was?

I need days like Tuesday. Days in which my heart nearly bursts with pride over what she's learning and doing. Days which remind me that while the tantrums and the frustration are there (hello toddlerhood), she's also getting so much from me and that I'm always an example. Days where she comes up to me and motions for me to pick her up (which is totally new and I LOVE it).


Days like Tuesday rejuvenate my Mama soul and remind me what an awesome human being I'm helping to mold. Thank God for days like that. They get me through some of the, shall we say, hairy days.

girl mom.

I'm going to let you in on a little secret.

When I found out I was pregnant, for just a second, I was terrified that I might have a little girl.

Then everyone started telling me that they thought I was going to have a boy and I was totally on board with that. I'm a bit more of a rough and tumble girl and felt like I just would know what to do with a boy whereas I'd be lost with a girl.

But there was a part of me that really, really, really wanted a little girl.

So as everyone guessed boy for me, I smiled and went along because I was afraid to say that I thought girl. Because hello, who wants to be wrong on that one!

But I knew. I just knew that I was going to have a little girl.

And duh, I did.

Truth?

I cannot even imagine not being a girl mom. This girl's mom.

This tomboy's house is littered with dolls, clothes, jewelry, bows, and shoes and I love it.

There are trucks and blocks in the toy box but the dolls get way more face time. They get rocked, cuddled, patted, and put to "nigh nigh" with love.

If you leave the babe in her room alone, you're likely to find she's pulled all the clothes out of her hamper and put them all on. Or that she's in her closet trying to put on her "dues" (shoes).

My costume jewelry is a new fascination and you can find her multiple times a day standing in front of my jewelry box just putting on "balls" (bead necklaces). She rocks a necklace to day care because she loves her some accessories.

Everything about our house screams "a little girl lives here".

It's official: I'm a girl mom and it absolutely rocks.

vitamin d

I don't know about you, but the weather this winter has really made me a downer. Add the major life changes we've had going on in with seriously gray, wet, cold weather, and I'm quite the Eeyore.

Not so fun.

Thankfully, I dare say spring is in the air.

If you don't believe me, you can come listen to me snort, cough, and sneeze as I battle my change of seasons hay fever. Super fun.

This morning I got up and went running while the hubs stayed at home with the little. It was gorgeous out. Sixty five degrees, sunny, with a breeze; heaven.

I hit the pavement with a smile on my face and enjoyed every second of my run.

It was so pretty out that I had to crank up the radio and roll the windows down for the ride home. Belting out some Train with the wind in my hair made me feel like ME again. Something I haven't felt in months.

I decided that in spite of the millions of things that needed to be done around the house today, it was simply too pretty to be indoors. So I packed up some lunch and took BG for her first picnic in the park.




She loved it. Of course she didn't do very much eating in between the staring at people, rolling in the dirt, and attempting to give her mom a heart attack by crawling straight for the lake (ie: the birds).



Clearly that fear wasn't passed down.

We had such a good time. I know I'll always remember sitting out in the sun with her watching her take it all in. Everything is so cool through a child's eyes.



After lunch, we headed over to the playground for a bit. She is still a big fan of the swings and today was even pumping her legs a little bit in there. Stop. Growing. Up.



Then we hit up the sandbox. BG is slowly coming around to playing in an oversized catboxthe sandbox (it's a daily battle to not let my neurosis rub off on my child..). Today she was everywhere! I was just happy to sit on the sidelines and not get dirty.

Bliss.







Then we came home and clearly BG loves the outdoors as much as I do, because she didn't want to sleep at all the rest of the afternoon. I think she just wanted to play outside.

I don't blame her.

However, I needed to get some stuff done so she got to watch a movie and eat some snacks.

I'm so excited for spring. Vitamin D sure is going to do this girl good.