31.

Today I turn 31. Which is kind of crazy because I can distinctly remember turning 30 and it JUST happened so I have no idea how I got here. But here I am.

I've heard that women are getting to the point where they are just now "finding" themselves on into their thirties and I so get that. At thirty, I thought I would have it all figured out. But somehow I woke up that morning just as clueless about so much as I'd been at twenty nine. Guess I got that one wrong.

A lot has changed in 365 days. We moved. Again. I changed jobs. Again. My personal life has both flourished and suffered greatly this past year in ways that I won't ever write about but they have shaped me greatly. It's been a year, that's for sure.

I've done a lot of growing and changing over the last couple of months. I'm no where near where I want to be, but I'm getting there and that's okay. It's okay to be a constant work in progress. I fully intend on still being in the process of figuring things out when I slide into the grave. It's just who I am.

While I am a work in progress, there are a few things that I've found to be undeniably true about who I am. Things that are me to the core. Things that maybe at one time I tried to hide, or deny, but now? now that I'm on the other side of 30? I've realized it's too exhausting to not just be me. To not let my "freak flag" fly. It may have cost me a few friendships and a few hard life lessons, but it's also deepened relationships that mean the world to me.

So for my thirty first birthday, thirty one things that make me, me. Tied in with the lessons that finally got me to be okay with who I am. Actually, that's not true. I am MORE than okay with who I am. And here's who you are today girl. Happy 31st Birthday.

31. Music will ALWAYS be the way to your soul. Do not be ashamed when a song brings you to tears or makes you close your eyes and just sit and listen. It's okay to sing a little too loud and to spend a bit too much money on concert tickets. This is your release. Enjoy it.

30. You kind of hate running. Yet you keep doing it. I'm actually not so sure why I keep putting myself through it except that I've just always done it. But old injuries are starting to hurt more and more and the runs are becoming more excruciating. It's okay to throw in the towel girl.

29. You also know you won't do that. You aren't a quitter.

28. You HATE confrontation. When forced to deal with it, you will. And you will handle it with sarcasm and wit, but you will be a sweaty, nervous mess while doing it. Don't pretend to be a bad ass. Fights and drama are not your thing.

27. You are flaky. Like REAL flaky. At least five mornings a week you lose your keys or your purse or something. You keep buying things to help you get "organized" and you usually lose those. Thank God you married an organized man.

26. You're a procrastinator. BIG TIME. You usually have great intentions and big plans but then lack the follow through. We're working on this but see above.

25. You've spent a good deal of time barking up the wrong tree when it comes to friendships. You won't be everyone's best friend. You can't buy friendship. Some friendships just aren't worth the effort. You are still learning which ones are but you're getting better. It's not worth the energy to be the only one trying.

24. If your kid isn't important to someone; they shouldn't be important to you. Forgetting your kids birthday when it's not allowed to forget their kids? Unacceptable. You don't need these people.

23. You will always get to invested in certain tv shows. Glee, One Tree Hill? Yep. You love them. Pretty sure you always will. And it's okay to disappear into them for a few hours. Life is hard. Sometimes it's nice to escape.

22. Laughter is always the best medicine. You married a funny man and your friends are hilarious. Clearly you already know this. ;)

21. Life usually doesn't turn out the way we envision in high school. I NEVER thought things would be the way they are now. But they're better. WAY better. Enjoy the twists and turns of life. They aren't always fun but they have a point. It just may take a long time to get to that point.

20. Girls' Night Out is your sanity. Never stop making time for your friends. They are the place you can just be "Megan" instead of "Mom". It's a good thing. You need that time.

19. You will never be on time. Ever. Keep trying though. It's not fun being late.

18. Work is stressful and sometimes you hate it, but you are good at what you do. Though you never would have imagined you would be doing what you do, it's worked out perfect. You are good at it because you work hard. It's one of your better qualities.

17. You're funny. Which is kind of cool. Don't be ashamed of it. Humor gets you through the day. Rock it.

16. You cannot rock pastels, collared shirts, or clothes with animal prints. And truth? you don't want too.

15. You might be a bit of a hippie. But that's okay. Hippie's are cool. You do shower so that's a win.

14. Life isn't always easy. Some very important relationships in your life are not at all what you've dreamed of. But you know what? You have the chance to make better ones with the next generation. Let go of the past. Ella is your second chance.

13. You are fiercely competitive. Get prepared to be banished to the car should your daughter play sports. This will happen.

12. You have an extremely laid back take on parenting. And while sometimes you beat yourself up for it because it's not the "norm" it works for you and your daughter. Go your own way. She's happy and taken care of. And that's what matters.

11. You eat like crap. And the metabolism you used to have? It's long gone son. Shae that department up stat.

10. As much as you envy stay at home moms, you weren't meant to be one. And your kid? she thrives at school. The situation y'all are in now is the best one for the two of you. It didn't work out for y'all to be together all the time and that's okay. It doesn't mean you love each other less or anything like that. It's just who y'all are.

9. Your husband will always make you a bit crazy but that's because y'all are so different. And those differences? are fantastic. He levels you out in a way that you need daily. He's truly your best sidekick. You got a good one.

8. You're getting older but it's still okay to drive a little too fast sometimes. To play your music a bit too loud. To drink a bit too much. Life is good. Live it.

7. Love hard. You will always think that people are inherently good and that's a good thing. The world needs more people like that. Love people. It's the greatest commandment. It is that for a reason.

6. Show your daughter how important school is but also show her how important it is to get out of those doors and learn in the world. It has SO much to show her. Make sure you show her the world before someone else does. You'll show her the good parts. No telling what someone else might show her.

5. Get outside every day. You start to get sulky when you don't. This is a command.

4. Love your kid. Hard. You know how bad it hurts when you don't feel that. Smother her with love. And when she starts to fight back, do it harder. You have every intention of being the embarrassing mom. ;) Rock it.

3. Love your husband. Hard. He saved you in every way possible. He deserves to know how much you will always appreciate him.

2. Love your God. Hard. He's the only reason you've made it this far.

1. You're 31 girl, but you still have so much more to learn and do. So rock your aviators, play your music, wear flip flops daily, cry at sappy tv shows, laugh with your friends, love your family, hold your daughter, and thank God daily for your life. It sort of rocks.

birthdays in may.

So this past weekend was EPIC.

We packed up and headed about 3 1/2 hours west back over to Anderson for BG's little bff's third birthday party. We were all stoked that we were able to make it and could not wait to get over there and see old friends. Both of BG's school buddies were going to be there along with Miss Brittany (pretty much BG's favorite person ever) and her little one, MK.

BG was beyond excited to go and the ride there actually flew by as she chatted about all the fun she was fixing to have. And fun was definitely had.
These three didn't miss a beat. They were immediately three peas in a pod again and couldn't stay away from each other as they ran, played with jewelry, read books, and did whatever other activities they could pack in their short time together.

I'm not going to lie; it hurt my heart a little bit to go back. While it's so great to see old friends and to keep that connection, it becomes very evident that life goes on without you once you leave. New friendships are formed, others are strengthened. It's a good thing for sure, but it leaves you feeling a bit like an outsider. At one point I met eyes with Mr. P across the room and I could tell he felt it too. BG also walked off by herself for a minute and I'm sure she was overwhelmed at being around so many people that she doesn't see daily anymore. It's just an odd feeling.

But the odd feeling passed and we quickly soaked in our last few minutes of the girls being together and of time with our friends. It was way too short a visit :(

After we left, we headed about two hours north to celebrate my best friend's 30th birthday with her in Charlotte. Mr. P and BG tagged along and rented a hotel room for the evening where they indulged in room service and movies while we had a grand 'ol girls' night downtown.

We girls might have had a bit too much fun. We were all moving pretty slow the next morning, but it was worth it. I adore my friends. They are absolutely insane but I love them.

I'm grateful for these friendships. I'm also grateful birthdays only come once a year. This girl can't hang.

"hear ye, hear ye! princess ella is 3!"

About the time my girl turned two, she started talking about how she wanted a "Princess party" when she turned three.

I attempted to steer her away from that a bit (I really thought I would at least get a couple of parties in before the themes took over!), but she held firm. Girl wanted a Princess party. And she wanted one bad.

So she got herself a Princess party. And it sort of rocked. It was kind of a perfect day.

The weeks leading up to the party had been unseasonably cool and rainy and I was about certain the party was going to be washed out. But it wasn't. The weather was actually perfect. Hot even. So much better than wet and gross.

For months, I had an idea in my head of what I wanted to do for this party. I had all this grandiose plans and then in true Megan form, I flaked, procrastinated, and found myself the night before in a panic when I realized I had done absolutely nothing to get ready for the party the very. next. morning.

Fortunately Mr. P had taken it upon himself to order a bounce house. It was even a Princess one. He wins.
crown decorating station
In spite of the fact that I was up way too late (and totally took my family down with me!), everything turned out just like I wanted. Or pretty close anyway. I'll call it a win.

BG was surrounded by most of her favorite people on the planet. Her best friend (and mine) from Anderson made the trip down, her family was all here, her little best buddy here in Florence (and mine) were here, as was her favorite school friend. Girl was surrounded by love. Details from a store are nice, but they can't make a day like special people can.

I'm pretty lucky to have such amazing people in my life. Friends who love my kid like family. Family who is always there. Hit the jackpot with the people I surround myself with. Thank you all so much for coming to celebrate our THREE year old! I'm still not used to saying that...

an 80th birthday.

There is one thing that I hope for in this life.

I honestly don't care about nice clothes (they're nice, but not a priority), nice cars (have you seen mine???), or a huge house (mine is about 1200 square feet if we're being generous). Material things have never really mattered to me. Now I like nice stuff and I like to dress my kid nice, but really, I get that at the end of the day; that's not what matters.

Family, friends, the good works you do in this life? those are what matter.

I spent a great deal of time growing up envisioning these big 'ol families in my head. I wrote out their stories and I made up their names and when it was quiet, I put myself in them; imagining sisters and cousins and the kind of big family I didn't have.

I've always wanted a big family (says the girl now with a single child). I like the idea of them; of loud noisy holidays and children running through the halls. I spent a lot of time "living" in the big families in my head growing up thinking I was missing out on something because my family was so small.

Don't get me wrong, I adore my family, but it's small. It always has been.

Until now.

We celebrated my Papa this past weekend at his 80th birthday celebration. Eighty years.

Wow.

I watched my Dad and his sisters proudly circulate the room swapping stories of their Dad with friends that have been around for decades. I watched my Mom and my Uncle who married into this family, giggle and laugh with their grandchildren. I watched as my brother got to introduce his daughter to the people who watched him grow up. I watched my husband and sister in law crack jokes together (probably at our expense!).

I watched my daughter and my niece giggle together as they crawled around the floor. I watched as Baby Girl and her other cousin played peek a boo for hours under a table.

There were friends that my Papa has had since he was a teen in that room. There were people that have known me since I was a newborn there. There was so much love in that room that you could feel it.

As my Dad gave the toast to his Dad, I had to swallow tears at just how proud I was in that moment. Because that family I dreamed of when I was a kid? I have it. And it's kind of awesome.

Someday I hope my kids will celebrate me at eighty. That I can sit in a room surrounded by loads of family (BG better reproduce!!) and friends and know that my days have been spent surrounded in love. That no matter the size of my bank account, I can know I've done something right because they all took the time to come spend that special day with me. That's what matters.

The night was crazy and loud and involved BG having an accident in the middle of the room, but the night was perfect. It honestly couldn't have gone better.

I adore my Papa. I hope that he can look upon the rest of us and be proud. Be proud of the family he's raised. Be proud of the legacy he's given us. Because I'm pretty dang proud of him.

Here's to 80 Papa. Can't wait for the next one.

happy birthday pops

A girl can consider herself pretty lucky when she scores an amazing Dad in life. And this girl? was pretty lucky.

So a huge Happy Birthday to my Dad, or Pops as he's called around here.

Dad, I love you and am continually proud of who you are and how hard you work. The three of us can't wait to see you again!! Hope you've had an incredible day! We love you!!

thirty

I need to start with a huge thank you to all those involved in 9/11 eleven years ago today. And that includes those whose involvement just began that day as they fought for America against the evil that attacked us. That includes the families of everyone involved. That includes the firefighters, the policemen, the military, and the everyday people who searched for months for survivors and worked to clean up the pieces. And mostly? I remember those who lost their lives today and their families. God Bless America..

So I turn thirty today. Thirty. Wow.

To be honest, I don't really feel thirty so I'm not sure how much I'm affected by it, but thirty is a bit intimidating no matter how one feels.

As thirty approached, we got hit with change, after change, after change which pretty much kept me from wallowing in the woe is me that is turning thirty. But now? Now that the dust has settled (a bit) and the house is quiet and Mr. P is back out at work, now it's hitting me.

Thirty. Wow.

Truth be told this being one of those "milestone" birthdays, it's easy to get a bit down as you think of where your life is compared to where you always thought it would be. Career wise, family wise, even home wise, I'm so not where I thought I would be.

The other day it started bothering me that I don't have a job that I love. That we don't currently own a home in a town we want to grow old in, that we haven't completed our family in the ways we thought we would back when we got married. It's easy to get a bit down when you think of it that way.

So since I'm not a fan at all of being down in the dumps, I quickly turned it around. I decided that thirty wouldn't be an "end" of sorts, but instead a beginning. A beginning of my "grown up life" if you will. Man, I remember when thirty was so old...

My ideas of what life would look like at thirty didn't really pan out, but there's so much I never could have imagined that has happened instead, all of which is pretty great.

I have an amazing husband. I thank God that our marriage is one that actually gets better year after year than one that fizzled out early. I have a husband who leads our family and works hard to take care of our family. A husband who loves his wife and daughter in ways that most families can only dream of having a father figure act.

I have the best daughter in the world. Seriously. She makes me unbelievably crazy most days, but she is the biggest blessing. She can make you smile at any moment of the day and her laugh is infectious. She has the biggest heart and already can tell when someone just "needs a hug". She's amazing. She is more than worth the wait and if I had to do it all again, I wouldn't change a thing as long as I get her.

I have an amazing family. Though they can make me crazier than a bat, they are supportive, they are loving, and they'll do whatever they can to help at any time.

I have awesome friends. Seriously, my friends rock (as evidenced by the blowing up my phone is doing today). They are always there to laugh with me, cry with me, or beat someone up for me (kidding). They are my soul sisters. We do life together.

I have an amazing community here in this blog world. You guys have become my rock. I tell my deepest thoughts and fears here and you guys always listen. Some of you have become my closest friends in real life too. I adore this community.

I have a roof over my head. I have food in my belly. I'm in good shape from running again. I have family that loves me. Friends that rock. In every thing that really matters, the first thirty years have been so good to me.

So yea.. it didn't all pan out like I thought it would by thirty. But the things that matter? they turned out better than I could have ever imagined. And that's what counts.

Plus, I've heard that thirty is actually pretty awesome (eighteen year old me doesn't believe that, but she's usually wrong). So bring it on thirty. It's time to tackle the things in life that need working on. I've already got it pretty great, here's to continue the improvements in the next decade.

happy birthday!!

Today is my favorite guy on the planets (35th shhhh) birthday. And I couldn't be happier to be celebrating another year with him.


There isn't a day that goes by that I don't want you to know how special you are, but especially today, I just want to say a huge thank you for who you are and what you do for our family.

So thank you for being the spiritual leader of the house. Thank you for enforcing Grace before meals and prayers before bed. Thank you for showing BG that a quiet time is a must each day.

Thank you for putting up with my highs and lows. Thank you for always making me laugh. For being strong for me when I can't be strong for myself. For loving me unconditionally even when I do everything in my power to not deserve it.

Thank you for being the best Dad on the planet. For playing with dolls and ribbons and bows and tea parties. For laughing with her constantly. For dancing around the kitchen with her and making bath time a high of her day.

Thank you for loving us. Most of the time we don't deserve it (especially when we keep you up all night the day before your birthday, ahem BG), but isn't that always how a father loves?

Your girls adore you. And we look forward to celebrating you today. Love you forever babe.

the beginning of the celebration...

So my Baby Girl turns two tomorrow.

Can I still call her Baby Girl when she's quite clearly a toddler?

Why yes, yes I can.

I'm a fan of birthdays. A big fan. You don't have to do much, but it's a day to let someone know you're thinking of them. That you love them. It's a day for them to feel special.

And when it's my sweet girls birthday?

Well, there are no limits to what I'll do to make her feel special. Because she is. She so is.

Thankfully we're surrounded by other people who feel the same way. Love them.

BG's birthday celebration kicked off big time today. I took a cake to school for her class to share. I got some priceless pictures sent to me by her teacher of my little one proudly wearing her Birthday crown and spending her day with her to little pals.


Miss B (BG's teacher) asked BG what she wanted for her birthday wish so that she could write it on her crown. BG wished to spend time with Zoie (one of the girls in the picture above). She loves that girl. Those two, well three, girls are inseparable.


When I picked her up, she was still riding a birthday high and proudly showed me her birthday crown and candle (paper y'all) over and over. Thank you Miss B for making her day so special.

We came home to a sweet gift from her dear friend Kinley that K's oh so sweet Mom was so kind to do for BG. I am so, so thankful for my friends. They do so much for my child which in turn makes my heart smile. I'm so dang lucky.


Tomorrow the festivities continue with a jaunt down to Atlanta and a trip to the aquarium. My little animal lover ought to be out of her mind with excitement.

Her mother sure is.

Last year we held her party on her birthday. This year, her party isn't until next weekend so the celebration gets to keep going. I loved having it all in one day last year but I have to admit; I'm a bit giddy at having my girl all to myself (well, with Mr. P) tomorrow. I'm a bit selfish. I know this.

So tomorrow she turns two. Wow...