Since Mr. Perfect and I have been together, the holidays haven't always been the easiest for us.
This will only be our second Christmas together that we haven't been suffering a miscarriage, on bedrest trying to prevent a miscarriage, or recovering from surgery after a miscarriage.
We have amazing timing no?
This Christmas has brought back so many memories of how lost and alone I felt when I couldn't figure out why God wouldn't let us keep our babies. But just as quickly as they arrive, they disappear, usually when Baby Girl kicks the crap out of me.
I don't think I will ever understand why we (and so many others) had to go through all those losses. I'll probably never understand why this baby got to be the one that made it when the other 4 just couldn't.
But I don't need to.
I haven't forgotten my journey to get here and I will always hold a special place in my heart for those women struggling with infertility and recurrent pregnancy loss, but I have let go of all the bitterness I felt about our past issues. This Christmas isn't about mourning the loss of a baby or praying that a baby will make it. This Christmas is reminding me that our God is faithful and He always provides. It may take longer than we would like and the journey may be harder than we expected, but He is always taking care of us.
I think I've put a lot of pressure on myself to make this the best Christmas ever. I've been stressing about gifts, and church services, and family time, just trying to make it all perfect.
But it already is. Because God has blessed me in more ways than I ever deserved. I have an amazing husband, a wonderful family, a brother that is safe overseas, and a precious baby girl growing away and kicking up a storm in my belly.
Even though it was a terrible road, everything we went though; every surgery, every shot in the back, every medication, every failed treatment, every failed pregnancy; was completely worth it for our little miracle. And she is the best Christmas present I could ever ask for.
Showing posts with label journey to be parents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label journey to be parents. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
the (all honesty) pregnancy post.
Now, before I write this, I just want to state for the record how incredibly blessed I feel to be pregnant. This has been something Mr. Perfect and I have waited for a very long time. I cannot wait to be a mother and cannot wait to meet this child I'm carrying. However, my first trimester sucked. I really can't say it any better than that. I love this little Shim (she/him- yea, I'm freaking creative) more than words, but our first 3 months together... not so fun.
I honestly don't know how much the 3 injections and 8 tablets a day played into my sickness. So in all fairness, maybe it wouldn't have been so bad. Do I believe that?
No. Just trying to make all you ladies that haven't been through it yet have a glimmer of hope. =)
If you're one of the lucky ones that sailed through your first trimester; well lucky you. I hate you, but lucky you.
I'm kidding. It's not hate, just supreme jealousy!
First there was the exhaustion. Come about two 'o clock every day, I was done. I would literally stagger through the rest of the day until I could finally crawl to my car for the drive home. I'd pray that I wouldn't fall asleep at the wheel and somehow I made it home safely every single day. Thank you Jesus. I would literally drag myself to the couch where I would promptly fall asleep and would remain there until the hubs woke me up for dinner and my 7 o' clock meds. Now I never actually got to enjoy dinner (don't worry, that's coming), but after we ate, it was over. I was in the bed. I think the latest I got to bed for about 6 weeks was 8 pm. Now you know why I was so behind on my blogging! Forget tv, forget going out with friends, forget cleaning... Thank God for Mr. Perfect. He literally kept our house running. It could have fallen apart at the seams and I wouldn't have cared. I probably would have slept through it!
In the morning, no matter what time I went to bed, I would still literally have to crawl to the shower in the morning. Oh wait, that might not have been from the exhaustion. That might have been from the 3 month long hangover I was suffering from. Let's talk about morning sickness. First of all, it was obviously a man that coined the term "morning sickness". Some guy that worked with women who thought if he called it "morning sickness", then miraculously at noon, all the pregnant women would feel better.
Bull.
I was literally sick from the time I woke up in the morning til the time I crawled back in bed at night. I didn't even stand to take a shower for 3 months. I would just sit there, curled up in a ball and let the water beat down on me. I actually can't even believe I just admitted that. Oh well. Brushing my teeth became a nightmare. I still can't even talk about that. Unfortunately for me, I never even (TMI alert) threw up. I was in a constant state of puke purgatory. I was constantly nauseous, constantly gagging, had the constant mouth watering (you know), and kept doing that really annoying cough that's from the inner pits of your soul that should always have something come with it, but it never did. I spent a good portion of my time staring into the porcelain god praying for sweet relief.
It never came.
I couldn't look at food. Slabs of meat (chicken, pork, beef, etc.) made my stomach flip. It's no surprise I lost 9 pounds in the first trimester. I ate nothing but saltines and water.
Then week 13 came along. Oh how I love this week! I can (almost) happily brush my teeth again, I can stand in the shower, I can stay up past 8, my belly is popping which is a constant reminder of what this is all for, and I can eat! I write this all as a reminder for me, but also just because it's funny now. And honestly? It's all already becoming a distant memory. I thought the whole time that I was going through it that I would NEVER do this again (seriously, said that once a day), but now? I'm ok with it. I survived it. That's huge, because it felt touch and go there for a while. Now.. if I could only sleep for more than 3 hours at night before having to pee...
13 weeks. Love.
I honestly don't know how much the 3 injections and 8 tablets a day played into my sickness. So in all fairness, maybe it wouldn't have been so bad. Do I believe that?
No. Just trying to make all you ladies that haven't been through it yet have a glimmer of hope. =)
If you're one of the lucky ones that sailed through your first trimester; well lucky you. I hate you, but lucky you.
I'm kidding. It's not hate, just supreme jealousy!
First there was the exhaustion. Come about two 'o clock every day, I was done. I would literally stagger through the rest of the day until I could finally crawl to my car for the drive home. I'd pray that I wouldn't fall asleep at the wheel and somehow I made it home safely every single day. Thank you Jesus. I would literally drag myself to the couch where I would promptly fall asleep and would remain there until the hubs woke me up for dinner and my 7 o' clock meds. Now I never actually got to enjoy dinner (don't worry, that's coming), but after we ate, it was over. I was in the bed. I think the latest I got to bed for about 6 weeks was 8 pm. Now you know why I was so behind on my blogging! Forget tv, forget going out with friends, forget cleaning... Thank God for Mr. Perfect. He literally kept our house running. It could have fallen apart at the seams and I wouldn't have cared. I probably would have slept through it!
In the morning, no matter what time I went to bed, I would still literally have to crawl to the shower in the morning. Oh wait, that might not have been from the exhaustion. That might have been from the 3 month long hangover I was suffering from. Let's talk about morning sickness. First of all, it was obviously a man that coined the term "morning sickness". Some guy that worked with women who thought if he called it "morning sickness", then miraculously at noon, all the pregnant women would feel better.
Bull.
I was literally sick from the time I woke up in the morning til the time I crawled back in bed at night. I didn't even stand to take a shower for 3 months. I would just sit there, curled up in a ball and let the water beat down on me. I actually can't even believe I just admitted that. Oh well. Brushing my teeth became a nightmare. I still can't even talk about that. Unfortunately for me, I never even (TMI alert) threw up. I was in a constant state of puke purgatory. I was constantly nauseous, constantly gagging, had the constant mouth watering (you know), and kept doing that really annoying cough that's from the inner pits of your soul that should always have something come with it, but it never did. I spent a good portion of my time staring into the porcelain god praying for sweet relief.
It never came.
I couldn't look at food. Slabs of meat (chicken, pork, beef, etc.) made my stomach flip. It's no surprise I lost 9 pounds in the first trimester. I ate nothing but saltines and water.
Then week 13 came along. Oh how I love this week! I can (almost) happily brush my teeth again, I can stand in the shower, I can stay up past 8, my belly is popping which is a constant reminder of what this is all for, and I can eat! I write this all as a reminder for me, but also just because it's funny now. And honestly? It's all already becoming a distant memory. I thought the whole time that I was going through it that I would NEVER do this again (seriously, said that once a day), but now? I'm ok with it. I survived it. That's huge, because it felt touch and go there for a while. Now.. if I could only sleep for more than 3 hours at night before having to pee...
13 weeks. Love.
Friday, October 2, 2009
and the cat finally makes its way out of the bag..
Ok. So I have been a craptastic blogger as of late. But I have a good reason for it!
Most of you have been around long enough to know of our struggle to become parents. We've have four previous miscarriages, multiple treatments, surgeries, etc. all for the eventual great end result of a little one of our own one day.
We were supposed to start trying in September. Our doctor was going to use some fertility drug with this next pregnancy trial to see if we could possibly get a better result with some help.
Remember this classic Friends' moment?
That 97% effectiveness?
So true.
Not going to lie- I freaked out. I literally had to be talked out of a panic attack by my oh so perfect husband. After some calming words from him and my friend Donner, I was almost ready to handle my little positive pee stick. I had to realize that this is what all the work was for. Everything was for this result.
Needless to say, I didn't stop panicking. We went straight to the doctor for a blood draw and I proceeded to start bawling my eyes out again. Now I wasn't upset that I was pregnant, not at all. But I didn't think we were ready. It wasn't September, our doc didn't say "Go do it now!", there were no fertility drugs. I was freaking out.
My doc told me to go home and chill out. He'd do my worrying for me.
Right.
We got started on meds right away. I started progesterone suppositories right away, but they weren't getting my numbers up where they should have been, so we switched to a nightly shot of progesterone oil in my back. Ouch. I started HCG injections twice a week, heparin injections twice a day, and a whole slew of pills.
At 6 weeks we had our first ultrasound to check our progress.
Everything looked pretty good. Baby's heart was beating away at about 115 beats per minute. Dr. O saw some movement in the placenta which he wasn't sure about and said that the yolk sac was a bit abnormal. He then upped some of my meds and said he'd see me in a week.
Two days later, I had some bleeding.
Went right back in and saw the babe again. It had grown just as much as it should have in 2 days, and the problems we saw on the previous ultrasound seemed to be clearing up. The only thing the doc could think was that possibly I was having an immune problem and my immune system was attacking the baby. So on to immuno-suppressors I went.
I went back a little after 7 weeks and was a nervous wreck. I always seem to have my problems right about this time. Not this time. There was our babe bouncing around on the screen, heart beating at around 156 bpm!!
One week later with a heartbeat around 177 bpm.
Honestly? I'm still in freakin' shock. We're almost 13 weeks pregnant. We're going to have a baby in April. This is actually happening for us.
We are over the moon. I can't quit grinning (well now that I'm done with all the nice gross stuff- don't you worry, there's an all honesty prego post coming!), Mr. Perfect can't quit rubbing my stomach. We could care less if it's a boy or a girl. We just can't quit thanking God for our baby. This is our miracle. This is what we've been praying for since it seemed it wouldn't happen for us. This baby is such a blessing and we can't believe we've been given such an amazing gift!
I just wanted to thank you ladies for your constant encouragement through all this. I know when I've been at my lowest points, that I can always come to you guys for some much needed cheering up. You've been my rocks! I honestly can't wait to go down this next road with all ya'll right along with us!
And just for grins...
My 12 week belly. It's there, though I don't know how since the first trimester about killed me and wittled 9 pounds off my body with a quickness.
To be continued.. =)
Most of you have been around long enough to know of our struggle to become parents. We've have four previous miscarriages, multiple treatments, surgeries, etc. all for the eventual great end result of a little one of our own one day.
We were supposed to start trying in September. Our doctor was going to use some fertility drug with this next pregnancy trial to see if we could possibly get a better result with some help.
Remember this classic Friends' moment?
That 97% effectiveness?
So true.
Not going to lie- I freaked out. I literally had to be talked out of a panic attack by my oh so perfect husband. After some calming words from him and my friend Donner, I was almost ready to handle my little positive pee stick. I had to realize that this is what all the work was for. Everything was for this result.
Needless to say, I didn't stop panicking. We went straight to the doctor for a blood draw and I proceeded to start bawling my eyes out again. Now I wasn't upset that I was pregnant, not at all. But I didn't think we were ready. It wasn't September, our doc didn't say "Go do it now!", there were no fertility drugs. I was freaking out.
My doc told me to go home and chill out. He'd do my worrying for me.
Right.
We got started on meds right away. I started progesterone suppositories right away, but they weren't getting my numbers up where they should have been, so we switched to a nightly shot of progesterone oil in my back. Ouch. I started HCG injections twice a week, heparin injections twice a day, and a whole slew of pills.
At 6 weeks we had our first ultrasound to check our progress.
Everything looked pretty good. Baby's heart was beating away at about 115 beats per minute. Dr. O saw some movement in the placenta which he wasn't sure about and said that the yolk sac was a bit abnormal. He then upped some of my meds and said he'd see me in a week.
Two days later, I had some bleeding.
Went right back in and saw the babe again. It had grown just as much as it should have in 2 days, and the problems we saw on the previous ultrasound seemed to be clearing up. The only thing the doc could think was that possibly I was having an immune problem and my immune system was attacking the baby. So on to immuno-suppressors I went.
I went back a little after 7 weeks and was a nervous wreck. I always seem to have my problems right about this time. Not this time. There was our babe bouncing around on the screen, heart beating at around 156 bpm!!
One week later with a heartbeat around 177 bpm.
Honestly? I'm still in freakin' shock. We're almost 13 weeks pregnant. We're going to have a baby in April. This is actually happening for us.
We are over the moon. I can't quit grinning (well now that I'm done with all the nice gross stuff- don't you worry, there's an all honesty prego post coming!), Mr. Perfect can't quit rubbing my stomach. We could care less if it's a boy or a girl. We just can't quit thanking God for our baby. This is our miracle. This is what we've been praying for since it seemed it wouldn't happen for us. This baby is such a blessing and we can't believe we've been given such an amazing gift!
I just wanted to thank you ladies for your constant encouragement through all this. I know when I've been at my lowest points, that I can always come to you guys for some much needed cheering up. You've been my rocks! I honestly can't wait to go down this next road with all ya'll right along with us!
And just for grins...
My 12 week belly. It's there, though I don't know how since the first trimester about killed me and wittled 9 pounds off my body with a quickness.
To be continued.. =)
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Weekend Wrap-Up
Can I start this with the fact that Mr. Perfect and I were able to drive around this afternoon with the windows down? Or the fact that I walked outside this morning and could very faintly smell Fall?!? Can we talk about the fact that in two weeks my Dawgs will be back out on the field?! Can I just get a huge shout out that Fall is right around the corner?!?
Ok. Probably not. Because I live in the Deep South where we like to keep it in the upper 90's til about October. But for a minute today, it felt like fall and I did a small little happy dance in the front yard.
I would like to pretend that Summer is my favorite holiday, but honestly, my heart belongs to fall. The cute clothes, the boots, deep jewel tones (my fave), football games (equal opportunity college and high school lover), oyster roasts, bonfires.. oh the list goes on for days.
Plus this fall, some of my very best friends will be having their first babies. How exciting! This past weekend I went to a shower for my friend KW whose due in September with a little girl. It's crazy to think of us crazy girls just a few short summers ago living it up with drinks in hand, and now we're all married and they're popping out babies. So exciting...
Cute little KW in Gabby's nursery
KW, our friend KP, and I in Gabby's nursery. KP is due in January with her first. She finds out Tuesday what she's having. I can't wait! I'm thinking girl. Mr. Perfect thinks boy.
It kind of looks like Babies-R-Us threw up behind us...
My little pregos! Aren't they precious?!
After the shower, I came home and crashed. I woke up for a bit to watch "New In Town" with the hubs. I thought it was cute. He thought it was predictable. Renee Zellweger has no eyes... Am I right?
Lots going on this week. We're headed back to the doc on Tuesday so keep us in your prayers. I'll be sharing what's going on with us soon, just know that I'm on a lot of medication which makes me feel really, really loopy and tired. I've fallen asleep on my laptop twice today just trying to clean out my Reader! Plus we have a birthday in the house this week. Stay tuned!
Hope you all had a great weekend and have a good week! I'm trying to get better about checking in!!
Ok. Probably not. Because I live in the Deep South where we like to keep it in the upper 90's til about October. But for a minute today, it felt like fall and I did a small little happy dance in the front yard.
I would like to pretend that Summer is my favorite holiday, but honestly, my heart belongs to fall. The cute clothes, the boots, deep jewel tones (my fave), football games (equal opportunity college and high school lover), oyster roasts, bonfires.. oh the list goes on for days.
Plus this fall, some of my very best friends will be having their first babies. How exciting! This past weekend I went to a shower for my friend KW whose due in September with a little girl. It's crazy to think of us crazy girls just a few short summers ago living it up with drinks in hand, and now we're all married and they're popping out babies. So exciting...
Cute little KW in Gabby's nursery
KW, our friend KP, and I in Gabby's nursery. KP is due in January with her first. She finds out Tuesday what she's having. I can't wait! I'm thinking girl. Mr. Perfect thinks boy.
It kind of looks like Babies-R-Us threw up behind us...
My little pregos! Aren't they precious?!
After the shower, I came home and crashed. I woke up for a bit to watch "New In Town" with the hubs. I thought it was cute. He thought it was predictable. Renee Zellweger has no eyes... Am I right?
Lots going on this week. We're headed back to the doc on Tuesday so keep us in your prayers. I'll be sharing what's going on with us soon, just know that I'm on a lot of medication which makes me feel really, really loopy and tired. I've fallen asleep on my laptop twice today just trying to clean out my Reader! Plus we have a birthday in the house this week. Stay tuned!
Hope you all had a great weekend and have a good week! I'm trying to get better about checking in!!
Monday, August 10, 2009
worry-wart
I am a worrier by nature.
No joke, my parents used to say that I came out of the womb with a furrowed brown and a fist under my chin a la The Thinker.
I will worry about anything. You got something you need to worry about? Don't you bother your pretty little head with that; I'll do it for you.
The main problem?
I almost never worry about things I can change.
I worry about the big things; war, being bombed (seriously), the end of the world, not having time to do stuff before the end comes.
I told you. I am an irrational worrier.
So put me in a situation like the one we are currently in with our miscarriages and I worry about 95% of the time. The other 5% I'm eating, cleaning, or running. I don't worry at those times. =) I hate this about me. I'm like a duck. On the surface all is calm, but under the surface, everything's going a mile a minute. Love that analogy.
However, not right now. For the first time in my life, I'm okay with where we're at. I'm doing everything I possibly can. I take my medication (when the pharmacy gets it to me!), I eat (almost) like I should, and I go to all my appointments and let thevampires doctors take all the blood they need. I can't do anything else.
Then it got me thinking about how incredibly blessed I am. I have an amazing husband. He makes me laugh until I cry, he supports me in everything, and he loves me. I have the best family, that call to check in on you and randomly send me cards just to say they love me. I have a home. I have the best dogs. I have a job. My husband has a job. We want for nothing.
If someday, God decides that on top of all that, we should be parents, then I'll praise Him for that new blessing. But if He chooses, it's not time for us yet, then I'll praise Him for everything else He's already given me.
Worrying about all this is pointless. So I'm giving it all to Him. He's more than willing to take it all from me.
Plus it might give me wrinkles. I am not okay with that just yet. Or ever.
Thank you for all that are praying and thinking of us. It truly is helping to keep me calm...
No joke, my parents used to say that I came out of the womb with a furrowed brown and a fist under my chin a la The Thinker.
I will worry about anything. You got something you need to worry about? Don't you bother your pretty little head with that; I'll do it for you.
The main problem?
I almost never worry about things I can change.
I worry about the big things; war, being bombed (seriously), the end of the world, not having time to do stuff before the end comes.
I told you. I am an irrational worrier.
So put me in a situation like the one we are currently in with our miscarriages and I worry about 95% of the time. The other 5% I'm eating, cleaning, or running. I don't worry at those times. =) I hate this about me. I'm like a duck. On the surface all is calm, but under the surface, everything's going a mile a minute. Love that analogy.
However, not right now. For the first time in my life, I'm okay with where we're at. I'm doing everything I possibly can. I take my medication (when the pharmacy gets it to me!), I eat (almost) like I should, and I go to all my appointments and let the
Then it got me thinking about how incredibly blessed I am. I have an amazing husband. He makes me laugh until I cry, he supports me in everything, and he loves me. I have the best family, that call to check in on you and randomly send me cards just to say they love me. I have a home. I have the best dogs. I have a job. My husband has a job. We want for nothing.
If someday, God decides that on top of all that, we should be parents, then I'll praise Him for that new blessing. But if He chooses, it's not time for us yet, then I'll praise Him for everything else He's already given me.
Worrying about all this is pointless. So I'm giving it all to Him. He's more than willing to take it all from me.
Plus it might give me wrinkles. I am not okay with that just yet. Or ever.
Thank you for all that are praying and thinking of us. It truly is helping to keep me calm...
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Weekend Wrap-Up
Ok. So maybe I'm older than I would like to think I am. Because this weekend almost put me in the grave.
Saturday morning I got up early and headed with a friend of mine up to Hilton Head for a soccer tournament. Thought it would be a nice day for a tourney. Weather (dot) com was predicting highs in the 80s.
Weather (dot) com is a nasty, dirty liar. It was around a 100 degrees on Saturday. With a 100% humidity.
Three soccer games later, played with some super *cranky (not the word I want to use.. ahem..) girls, in the heat, in the rain, I was not a happy camper. I signed up for the tournament to have FUN. Not because I thought Mia Hamm was going to show up and wisk me away to play for the National Team. Apparently some of the other players didn't get that memo. You can ask the super bruises on my stomach in the shapes of elbows.
But I digress..
Saturday night, I dragged my bruised, battered, exhausted body back home.
I know I'm a drama queen, but I was TIRED!!!
Sunday morning I swore I had been hit by a car. My back hurt, my abs hurt, my arms hurt. My freakin' pinky toes hurt for crying out loud. I don't know how I dragged myself back to South Carolina, but I did.
I'm so glad I did. We played much better, everyone was in better moods, and I got to have a great lunch. I could barely move Monday and I'm rocking some serious tan lines, but price you got to pay right?!
My friend, L and I between games.
Our team.
Sunday afternoon, Mr. Perfect and I got to keep my goddaughter for a while. She definitely kept us on our toes, but we had so much fun with her!! She's the sweetest thing! Our cat doesn't think so, but what does he know?
She was trying to give Lacy a toy. Lacy was too fascinated with her to care about anything else.
Melt my heart!
Told you Lacy was obsessed with her.
She was obsessed with Ace. He was not a fan of hers.
Other than the fact that I could barely move all weekend, it was a pretty nice one. Thank goodness, because this week is turning into a doozy. We got one heck of a curveball thrown at us on Monday. Nothing we can't handle, but just pray for us and our little journey through the entire medical journal to try and have a child. I'll give more details when I can, but thanks in advance. Hope you guys had a great weekend! My blogging might be sketchy for a few days, but I'll be checking in!!
Saturday morning I got up early and headed with a friend of mine up to Hilton Head for a soccer tournament. Thought it would be a nice day for a tourney. Weather (dot) com was predicting highs in the 80s.
Weather (dot) com is a nasty, dirty liar. It was around a 100 degrees on Saturday. With a 100% humidity.
Three soccer games later, played with some super *cranky (not the word I want to use.. ahem..) girls, in the heat, in the rain, I was not a happy camper. I signed up for the tournament to have FUN. Not because I thought Mia Hamm was going to show up and wisk me away to play for the National Team. Apparently some of the other players didn't get that memo. You can ask the super bruises on my stomach in the shapes of elbows.
But I digress..
Saturday night, I dragged my bruised, battered, exhausted body back home.
I know I'm a drama queen, but I was TIRED!!!
Sunday morning I swore I had been hit by a car. My back hurt, my abs hurt, my arms hurt. My freakin' pinky toes hurt for crying out loud. I don't know how I dragged myself back to South Carolina, but I did.
I'm so glad I did. We played much better, everyone was in better moods, and I got to have a great lunch. I could barely move Monday and I'm rocking some serious tan lines, but price you got to pay right?!
My friend, L and I between games.
Our team.
Sunday afternoon, Mr. Perfect and I got to keep my goddaughter for a while. She definitely kept us on our toes, but we had so much fun with her!! She's the sweetest thing! Our cat doesn't think so, but what does he know?
She was trying to give Lacy a toy. Lacy was too fascinated with her to care about anything else.
Melt my heart!
Told you Lacy was obsessed with her.
She was obsessed with Ace. He was not a fan of hers.
Other than the fact that I could barely move all weekend, it was a pretty nice one. Thank goodness, because this week is turning into a doozy. We got one heck of a curveball thrown at us on Monday. Nothing we can't handle, but just pray for us and our little journey through the entire medical journal to try and have a child. I'll give more details when I can, but thanks in advance. Hope you guys had a great weekend! My blogging might be sketchy for a few days, but I'll be checking in!!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
because bullets are all that will do right now.
1. Blogger can be a nasty little minx. Especially when they don't post your scheduled post or save it. Not cool. I'll have to go back through and rewrite that one because I need some serious home decor help.
2. My in-laws are coming today for lunch. They don't stay long so we won't get to spend much time with them, but it's always nice to see them for a few minutes.
3. I started a new medication a few days ago to help with all things baby. Medication number 6. I am starting to not even feel like myself. Plus it's making me crazy. Seriously, you should have seen me yesterday. Snakes coming out of head.
4. We were supposed to try for baby this month. Then I showed up insulin resistant so we had to start meds for that. Then found out my kidney function wasn't up to par so we have to deal with that. Pregnancy trial is pushed back another 6 weeks at the earliest. I'm starting to think someone is trying to tell us something.
5. I have this really strong desire to go back to school. It's been at the back of my head for a while now, but it's getting more and more persistent in my mind. It doesn't make sense to go back to school and try to get pregnant. Thoughts on table...
6. I think I want to go back to school because work is stressing me out right now. That's all I'm going to say about that.
7. I'm wearing my really bright scrubs to work today in an attempt to wake my butt up. Not working so far.
8. I got back on the running train yesterday. Finally.
9. That's all I've got.
2. My in-laws are coming today for lunch. They don't stay long so we won't get to spend much time with them, but it's always nice to see them for a few minutes.
3. I started a new medication a few days ago to help with all things baby. Medication number 6. I am starting to not even feel like myself. Plus it's making me crazy. Seriously, you should have seen me yesterday. Snakes coming out of head.
4. We were supposed to try for baby this month. Then I showed up insulin resistant so we had to start meds for that. Then found out my kidney function wasn't up to par so we have to deal with that. Pregnancy trial is pushed back another 6 weeks at the earliest. I'm starting to think someone is trying to tell us something.
5. I have this really strong desire to go back to school. It's been at the back of my head for a while now, but it's getting more and more persistent in my mind. It doesn't make sense to go back to school and try to get pregnant. Thoughts on table...
6. I think I want to go back to school because work is stressing me out right now. That's all I'm going to say about that.
7. I'm wearing my really bright scrubs to work today in an attempt to wake my butt up. Not working so far.
8. I got back on the running train yesterday. Finally.
9. That's all I've got.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
rain makes me lazy.
I have not ran since Saturday. I am so lazy.
In my defense, it's raining cats and dogs outside and I spent a good portion of my day at the doctor's office. After not eating all morning. Have you seen me when I've skipped a meal?! Think snakes.. coming out of my head.
I'm Southern. I like my food.
My glucose experience was not as bad as it could be. I got there pretty early, just about 4 or 5 people ahead of me. They all got in and out pretty quickly. Except for these 2 young women and a little boy. Who almost didn't live to see another day.
You know the kid. The one screaming and running around Will Ferrell style.
*I think I just wanted a reason to watch that clip*
Seriously though, this kid was throwing himself over chairs, climbing in peoples faces, and the women just watched.
He approached me once. Remember, snakes.....
I did almost lose it after drinking that orange crap (you can't even call it juice, because that's not fair to all the juices out there). But the lady told me if I did *ahem puke, that I'd have to start all over.
Give me that junk lady. I was not staying a second longer with Will.
I managed to "work" the rest of the day. Well really I watched the MJ memorial all day. Not even touching that subject, except that his daughter about made me break down. It really comes down to the fact that those kids lost their father.. A complete heart break.
Even though I'm not convinced those are her kids. Have you seen them?!?
This is all over the place because I'm tired. Heading to a funeral tomorrow for D's grandmother. Then hitting the road running. Literally. I've got to stop being so lazy.
In my defense, it's raining cats and dogs outside and I spent a good portion of my day at the doctor's office. After not eating all morning. Have you seen me when I've skipped a meal?! Think snakes.. coming out of my head.
I'm Southern. I like my food.
My glucose experience was not as bad as it could be. I got there pretty early, just about 4 or 5 people ahead of me. They all got in and out pretty quickly. Except for these 2 young women and a little boy. Who almost didn't live to see another day.
You know the kid. The one screaming and running around Will Ferrell style.
*I think I just wanted a reason to watch that clip*
Seriously though, this kid was throwing himself over chairs, climbing in peoples faces, and the women just watched.
He approached me once. Remember, snakes.....
I did almost lose it after drinking that orange crap (you can't even call it juice, because that's not fair to all the juices out there). But the lady told me if I did *ahem puke, that I'd have to start all over.
Give me that junk lady. I was not staying a second longer with Will.
I managed to "work" the rest of the day. Well really I watched the MJ memorial all day. Not even touching that subject, except that his daughter about made me break down. It really comes down to the fact that those kids lost their father.. A complete heart break.
Even though I'm not convinced those are her kids. Have you seen them?!?
This is all over the place because I'm tired. Heading to a funeral tomorrow for D's grandmother. Then hitting the road running. Literally. I've got to stop being so lazy.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
doctor update
Warning: Post below is full of female medical jargon. Feel free to fly right on past if you want.
A couple weeks ago, we went back to Dr. O for our "monitored ovulation" appointment. Basically he used an ultrasound to see what my ovaries were doing during my current cycle. We went in on Thursday the 18th and saw his nurse for our appointment. Basically everything looked right on track. It was still early (which I knew because I chart, thank you Mrs. Newlywed for helping me with that!), but for the point in my cycle everything looked good. From what she could tell, I was ovulating off my left side and the follicle which I was ovulating from was measuring 16 x 16. Really no idea what that means, but they want it at 20 x 20 to consider the follicle healthy. Also my endometrium (lining of the uterus) was measuring at a 6, which is the minimum they want when you ovulate. Overall, everything looked great for a couple days prior to ovulation. I was thrilled that something was going right.
They wanted me to come back in on Saturday morning to take a look again. So we got up bright and early and headed back up to the hospital, everyone's favorite place to be on their day off. Basically the appointment was craptastic. My follicle was now measuring 17 x 13 and is considered "abnormal" and my endometrium was still only measuring at a 6. It hadn't gotten any thicker at all. It was still early, but the follicle should have been around a 20 x 20 at this point and clearly that wasn't going to happen. The possibility of us doing the next pregnancy try without the use of fertility drugs?
Nonexistent.
Clomid is not an option for me since it tends to thin out your endometrium and mine is already thin enough, so Dr. O sent me for more blood work (vampires!) to figure out his next course.
I. Am. So. Frustrated.
I really thought this was one test that I would ace. I mean clearly I ovulate; I've been pregnant four times for crying out loud. I had a mini-breakdown when leaving on Saturday. Mr. Perfect tried to make me see reason by reminding me that this can be fixed, that there are drugs for this.
Well I know that. But I just wanted one thing to go right.
I had my blood drawn on Monday I had to fast and then go in and get my post ovulation progesterone levels taken and my glucose and insulin tested. Got my results on that today. My progesterone showed that I had ovulated but it was pretty low. Not surprising since it has been low every single pregnancy and I always get put on progesterone shots immediately. My glucose came back good but my insulin came back high. As did my glucose/insulin ratio. I don't really understand much about that. From what the nurse told me, it can predispose you to diabetes but not necessarily. In fact if any of you nurses out there can hook me up with a bit of info about this, I would be forever grateful. I go back Tuesday for a glucose curve (sounds super fun) and then the next Tuesday for a consult.
Know what that means?
We don't try this month. Not until we figure out this new little curve ball.
I am cussing internally. I am so frustrated.
Did I already say that?!?
I think there's a little bucket up in heaven that has my healthy reproductive system in it. I wish it would drop on down. I think my patience and my real nose are in there too. I feel like I'm about to lose it. I'm going to need one thing to go right soon...
A couple weeks ago, we went back to Dr. O for our "monitored ovulation" appointment. Basically he used an ultrasound to see what my ovaries were doing during my current cycle. We went in on Thursday the 18th and saw his nurse for our appointment. Basically everything looked right on track. It was still early (which I knew because I chart, thank you Mrs. Newlywed for helping me with that!), but for the point in my cycle everything looked good. From what she could tell, I was ovulating off my left side and the follicle which I was ovulating from was measuring 16 x 16. Really no idea what that means, but they want it at 20 x 20 to consider the follicle healthy. Also my endometrium (lining of the uterus) was measuring at a 6, which is the minimum they want when you ovulate. Overall, everything looked great for a couple days prior to ovulation. I was thrilled that something was going right.
They wanted me to come back in on Saturday morning to take a look again. So we got up bright and early and headed back up to the hospital, everyone's favorite place to be on their day off. Basically the appointment was craptastic. My follicle was now measuring 17 x 13 and is considered "abnormal" and my endometrium was still only measuring at a 6. It hadn't gotten any thicker at all. It was still early, but the follicle should have been around a 20 x 20 at this point and clearly that wasn't going to happen. The possibility of us doing the next pregnancy try without the use of fertility drugs?
Nonexistent.
Clomid is not an option for me since it tends to thin out your endometrium and mine is already thin enough, so Dr. O sent me for more blood work (vampires!) to figure out his next course.
I. Am. So. Frustrated.
I really thought this was one test that I would ace. I mean clearly I ovulate; I've been pregnant four times for crying out loud. I had a mini-breakdown when leaving on Saturday. Mr. Perfect tried to make me see reason by reminding me that this can be fixed, that there are drugs for this.
Well I know that. But I just wanted one thing to go right.
I had my blood drawn on Monday I had to fast and then go in and get my post ovulation progesterone levels taken and my glucose and insulin tested. Got my results on that today. My progesterone showed that I had ovulated but it was pretty low. Not surprising since it has been low every single pregnancy and I always get put on progesterone shots immediately. My glucose came back good but my insulin came back high. As did my glucose/insulin ratio. I don't really understand much about that. From what the nurse told me, it can predispose you to diabetes but not necessarily. In fact if any of you nurses out there can hook me up with a bit of info about this, I would be forever grateful. I go back Tuesday for a glucose curve (sounds super fun) and then the next Tuesday for a consult.
Know what that means?
We don't try this month. Not until we figure out this new little curve ball.
I am cussing internally. I am so frustrated.
Did I already say that?!?
I think there's a little bucket up in heaven that has my healthy reproductive system in it. I wish it would drop on down. I think my patience and my real nose are in there too. I feel like I'm about to lose it. I'm going to need one thing to go right soon...
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
doctor update
Well we're back to Dr. O tomorrow.
If you don't know our whole saga you can catch up here.
We're supposed to be doing a "monitored ovulation" tomorrow. They'll take a look with an ultrasound and see what happens when I ovulate. Hopefully I'm doing this fine on my own (which I would think I am with four pregnancies under my belt), but tomorrow will decide if we do this with our without fertility drugs this time.
I'm kind of scared of Clomid. I don't want an Imperfect's + 8 situation.
But I'll do what I'm told. I have a feeling this is too early for this appointment. I happen to know my body pretty daggum well through charting and stuff and I'm pretty positive I don't ovulate til Monday. My ovulation kits big fat negative is on my side. But they're telling me to come tomorrow so we shall see.
So fingers crossed. I would really like one small thing to go my way. Not that I won't do fertility drugs if I have too, but I am kind of overloaded on the medications at the moment. I'll update tomorrow when I know something. G'nite!
If you don't know our whole saga you can catch up here.
We're supposed to be doing a "monitored ovulation" tomorrow. They'll take a look with an ultrasound and see what happens when I ovulate. Hopefully I'm doing this fine on my own (which I would think I am with four pregnancies under my belt), but tomorrow will decide if we do this with our without fertility drugs this time.
I'm kind of scared of Clomid. I don't want an Imperfect's + 8 situation.
But I'll do what I'm told. I have a feeling this is too early for this appointment. I happen to know my body pretty daggum well through charting and stuff and I'm pretty positive I don't ovulate til Monday. My ovulation kits big fat negative is on my side. But they're telling me to come tomorrow so we shall see.
So fingers crossed. I would really like one small thing to go my way. Not that I won't do fertility drugs if I have too, but I am kind of overloaded on the medications at the moment. I'll update tomorrow when I know something. G'nite!
Sunday, May 31, 2009
is it too late to change my mind?!
I would love to do a weekend wrap-up. However, I am exhausted.
I just got back from Charleston where we spent the weekend with my best friend and her kids; 5 year old Mason and my 2 year old goddaughter, Lola.
I might have changed my mind on having kids. Not even kidding.
We rode home from dinner with the kids in our car. Mase decided to play with the GPS and made it repeat "you have reached your destination" over and over and over. The entire 2o minute car ride. When he wasn't playing with that, he was turning the ac on full blast and blaring the radio.
The whole time Lola was in the backseat screaming his name.
My ears were bleeding.
The hubs and I dropped them off at their house and headed to WalMart on my insistence for a few minutes of peace. The minute they got out of the car Mr. Perfect turns to me and cracks up laughing.
"What's so funny?" I snapped.
"You. Your nerves are shot!"
"Are you telling me they weren't making you crazy?!"
"Nope. They're just kids hon".
Oh goodness..... I needed a xanax. I almost quit breathing for some silence.
The Mr. told me when we have kids, I can kiss my peace good bye.
Not true I say. When they're being loud the patient parent can step on in.
I just got back from Charleston where we spent the weekend with my best friend and her kids; 5 year old Mason and my 2 year old goddaughter, Lola.
I might have changed my mind on having kids. Not even kidding.
We rode home from dinner with the kids in our car. Mase decided to play with the GPS and made it repeat "you have reached your destination" over and over and over. The entire 2o minute car ride. When he wasn't playing with that, he was turning the ac on full blast and blaring the radio.
The whole time Lola was in the backseat screaming his name.
My ears were bleeding.
The hubs and I dropped them off at their house and headed to WalMart on my insistence for a few minutes of peace. The minute they got out of the car Mr. Perfect turns to me and cracks up laughing.
"What's so funny?" I snapped.
"You. Your nerves are shot!"
"Are you telling me they weren't making you crazy?!"
"Nope. They're just kids hon".
Oh goodness..... I needed a xanax. I almost quit breathing for some silence.
The Mr. told me when we have kids, I can kiss my peace good bye.
Not true I say. When they're being loud the patient parent can step on in.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
another visit with dr. o
Completely medical post--- feel free to skip it as it might not be that interesting!!
Two weeks ago, Mr. Perfect and I had our follow up appointment for my surgery on the 24th of April. I had a HORRIBLE time recovering from surgery so I had a bunch of questions. We got there and Dr. O took a quick look at my incisions (which have healed up wonderfully) and did a quick pelvic exam. Everything healed up great. Which I had no doubts of because my doc is awesome.
We then went and sat down in the office to talk some things over. Dr. O told us that he was very pleased with how things went. He believes they got as much of the septum as they could have gotten. Very happy about that. As for the endometriosis they found while inside. Basically there are about 4 stages of endometriosis. Level 1 being the least serious, Level 4 being the most. I had Level 1 endo on my left ovary and the back of my abdominal cavity and Level 2 endo on the front of my abdominal cavity. Dr. O does not believe that the endometriosis that I have is causing infertility as it does in so many women. He does think it's more of a "sister symptom" to everything else I have going on. So basically, we are going to consider it "taken care of" by the surgery in which they lasered it all off. There's always the chance that this could come back someday, in which case we'll deal with it then.
As for how sick I was following surgery. I was miserable for a week after the procedure. Sure my ab muscles hurt, but that wasn't even the main problem. I would have sworn I had vertigo I was so nauseous and dizzy. I couldn't even get my eyes to focus in my head for days. I have been on medication for a while now that pumps me full of magnesium and Dr. O believes that coming off that supplement sent me into withdrawals and that's where the sickness came from. Sure enough, when I started the meds back up, I felt 100% better almost immediately.
So. Our new plan. I'm back on all the medication I was on before surgery, and we've added one new one. Since Dr. O still believes my main problem is a lack of blood flow to the uterus caused by unhealthy blood vessels, we're going to try a medication that will "trick" my unhealthy blood vessels into becoming healthy, dilated vessels. The medication I'm now on is actually prescribed to older (usually) patients that have problems with blood clots. I had to have a liver function lab run to make sure my liver was healthy enough for the medication (it was) and I started the medication that Tuesday. Not too many problems with it other than (TMI ALERT!) it does make my stomach hurt (almost constantly) and it does seem to be increasing my blood flow (ahem....). Increased blood flow on a girl that falls down a lot is actually not a great thing... Oh well.
Last but not least. We're going to give my body (uterus) 2 cycles to get back to what the doctor considers "healthy". That's my May cycle and June cycle. After I get my period in June, we will be doing a monitored cycle where we will go in for ultrasounds and such to make sure I'm ovulating correctly. If I'm not, or even possibly if I am, we may start with a fertility drug (ie: Clomid or something along those lines) at that time. Once I get my period in July, we will officially be able to start trying to get pregnant. Wow. Only a couple more months!!
That fact terrifies me. I can't stop thinking about the "what ifs". Such as, what if all this still doesn't work? Having a specific date in mind to start trying again terrifies me. I honestly don't know how I will handle another go round of all this.
Keep us in your prayers.. There's some big things coming up for the Imperfect household soon....
PS- Kudos to you if you actually read all this =)
Two weeks ago, Mr. Perfect and I had our follow up appointment for my surgery on the 24th of April. I had a HORRIBLE time recovering from surgery so I had a bunch of questions. We got there and Dr. O took a quick look at my incisions (which have healed up wonderfully) and did a quick pelvic exam. Everything healed up great. Which I had no doubts of because my doc is awesome.
We then went and sat down in the office to talk some things over. Dr. O told us that he was very pleased with how things went. He believes they got as much of the septum as they could have gotten. Very happy about that. As for the endometriosis they found while inside. Basically there are about 4 stages of endometriosis. Level 1 being the least serious, Level 4 being the most. I had Level 1 endo on my left ovary and the back of my abdominal cavity and Level 2 endo on the front of my abdominal cavity. Dr. O does not believe that the endometriosis that I have is causing infertility as it does in so many women. He does think it's more of a "sister symptom" to everything else I have going on. So basically, we are going to consider it "taken care of" by the surgery in which they lasered it all off. There's always the chance that this could come back someday, in which case we'll deal with it then.
As for how sick I was following surgery. I was miserable for a week after the procedure. Sure my ab muscles hurt, but that wasn't even the main problem. I would have sworn I had vertigo I was so nauseous and dizzy. I couldn't even get my eyes to focus in my head for days. I have been on medication for a while now that pumps me full of magnesium and Dr. O believes that coming off that supplement sent me into withdrawals and that's where the sickness came from. Sure enough, when I started the meds back up, I felt 100% better almost immediately.
So. Our new plan. I'm back on all the medication I was on before surgery, and we've added one new one. Since Dr. O still believes my main problem is a lack of blood flow to the uterus caused by unhealthy blood vessels, we're going to try a medication that will "trick" my unhealthy blood vessels into becoming healthy, dilated vessels. The medication I'm now on is actually prescribed to older (usually) patients that have problems with blood clots. I had to have a liver function lab run to make sure my liver was healthy enough for the medication (it was) and I started the medication that Tuesday. Not too many problems with it other than (TMI ALERT!) it does make my stomach hurt (almost constantly) and it does seem to be increasing my blood flow (ahem....). Increased blood flow on a girl that falls down a lot is actually not a great thing... Oh well.
Last but not least. We're going to give my body (uterus) 2 cycles to get back to what the doctor considers "healthy". That's my May cycle and June cycle. After I get my period in June, we will be doing a monitored cycle where we will go in for ultrasounds and such to make sure I'm ovulating correctly. If I'm not, or even possibly if I am, we may start with a fertility drug (ie: Clomid or something along those lines) at that time. Once I get my period in July, we will officially be able to start trying to get pregnant. Wow. Only a couple more months!!
That fact terrifies me. I can't stop thinking about the "what ifs". Such as, what if all this still doesn't work? Having a specific date in mind to start trying again terrifies me. I honestly don't know how I will handle another go round of all this.
Keep us in your prayers.. There's some big things coming up for the Imperfect household soon....
PS- Kudos to you if you actually read all this =)
Monday, April 27, 2009
strugglin'....
I am struggling to be positive right now. So I'm actually going to keep this short. Because negativity sucks and I don't want to be responsible for putting it out in the world.
=)
I went in for surgery at noon on Friday. By this point I was hungry, thirsty, cranky, and about to pass out from hunger. I'd been living off liquids for 3 days and hadn't had anything since 8 pm on Thursday. I just wanted to get to the hospital and get it over with.
I only had to wait in the waiting room for about 20 minutes. They had me go on back by myself for a couple more pre-surgical tests. I got my blood pressure taken (low), a pregnancy test taken (negative), and got spiffied up in my designer hospital gown. My nurse was an elderly lady who was super nice, but stuck me way too many times so our friendship got off to a bad start. She decided first of all that I needed something to relax, but I needed an IV first. 10 minutes later she came back to give me an IV. She took my right hand and made a remark about how good my veins were. Why don't you just jinx yourself lady?! She gave me a numbing shot of Lidocaine (which I don't get- it hurts worse than just getting the iv put in!), then tried to get my catheter in. The vein blew. I told you you jinxed yourself nurse lady... She moved to the left hand. Same thing. She decided to go get someone else who does manage to get an iv in the side of my right arm.
They finally let Mr. Perfect come back and they give me something to "relax" me. Basically, makes me worthless. I saw my doc for a quick second who just stopped by to do some reassuring (not necessary post drugs...) and then the anesthesiologist came by. Same guy that I had back in January. Nice guy. Same name as my dentist. Not important facts....
They finally came and wheeled me back to get ready for the O.R. They wheeled me into a room full of old people and I begged the nurse wheeling me back to not leave me in there... Scary. (I am not afraid of old people, but I was tripping... and these people did not look healthy!! I didn't want to be left in the "room of the dying" as I saw it.) I remember all of two seconds of being in the operating room and then it's all.... blank.
Apparently the surgery lasted almost 4 hours. Dr. O came out to talk to Mr. Perfect and show him some pictures of everything. From what I've gotten from Mr. Perfect, the septum was a bit bigger than they had thought, but Dr. O feels fairly confident that they got the problem. While they were in there, they did discover that I had endometriosis on my abdominal wall. Basically, the cells that line your uterine wall are endometriol cells, but endometriosis is when they grow on other body parts. I think that's a dumbed down version. I haven't been able to talk to my doctor about all this yet. Dr. O went ahead and made one other cut in my abdomen and went ahead and lasered the endometriosis out. He thinks that he got it all.
I have felt like crap for the last 4 days. My stomach hurts to the touch. The gas they blew up my abdomen with to look around, is stuck in my chest and it hurts to lay down. The only time I can function is when I take the pain pills, but then I feel loopy and out of it and I can't deal with that. I slept most of the weekend but am now trying to get up and do something. I can't even straighten up without feeling a tug in my abdomen that sends me back to the couch in pain. I'm frustrated with hurting, I'm frustrated with not being able to eat, and I'm frustrated with feeling like crap. I'm frustrated that I even had to have this surgery in the first place, but then I'm grateful that I did because they found the endometriosis and hopefully early enough that it will have little impact.
I don't do good on my own. I know this. So two days at home, laying in bed, in the dark is seriously messing with my head. I'm getting depressed and sad. I'm mad because I haven't worked out in days and I feel flabby. I'm mad that my head hurts and is making me think about it, when it's my stomach's turn to hurt (I might be insane). I want to go back to work but I'm afraid it will hurt. I'm seriously strugglin' right now ya'll...
=)
I went in for surgery at noon on Friday. By this point I was hungry, thirsty, cranky, and about to pass out from hunger. I'd been living off liquids for 3 days and hadn't had anything since 8 pm on Thursday. I just wanted to get to the hospital and get it over with.
I only had to wait in the waiting room for about 20 minutes. They had me go on back by myself for a couple more pre-surgical tests. I got my blood pressure taken (low), a pregnancy test taken (negative), and got spiffied up in my designer hospital gown. My nurse was an elderly lady who was super nice, but stuck me way too many times so our friendship got off to a bad start. She decided first of all that I needed something to relax, but I needed an IV first. 10 minutes later she came back to give me an IV. She took my right hand and made a remark about how good my veins were. Why don't you just jinx yourself lady?! She gave me a numbing shot of Lidocaine (which I don't get- it hurts worse than just getting the iv put in!), then tried to get my catheter in. The vein blew. I told you you jinxed yourself nurse lady... She moved to the left hand. Same thing. She decided to go get someone else who does manage to get an iv in the side of my right arm.
They finally let Mr. Perfect come back and they give me something to "relax" me. Basically, makes me worthless. I saw my doc for a quick second who just stopped by to do some reassuring (not necessary post drugs...) and then the anesthesiologist came by. Same guy that I had back in January. Nice guy. Same name as my dentist. Not important facts....
They finally came and wheeled me back to get ready for the O.R. They wheeled me into a room full of old people and I begged the nurse wheeling me back to not leave me in there... Scary. (I am not afraid of old people, but I was tripping... and these people did not look healthy!! I didn't want to be left in the "room of the dying" as I saw it.) I remember all of two seconds of being in the operating room and then it's all.... blank.
Apparently the surgery lasted almost 4 hours. Dr. O came out to talk to Mr. Perfect and show him some pictures of everything. From what I've gotten from Mr. Perfect, the septum was a bit bigger than they had thought, but Dr. O feels fairly confident that they got the problem. While they were in there, they did discover that I had endometriosis on my abdominal wall. Basically, the cells that line your uterine wall are endometriol cells, but endometriosis is when they grow on other body parts. I think that's a dumbed down version. I haven't been able to talk to my doctor about all this yet. Dr. O went ahead and made one other cut in my abdomen and went ahead and lasered the endometriosis out. He thinks that he got it all.
I have felt like crap for the last 4 days. My stomach hurts to the touch. The gas they blew up my abdomen with to look around, is stuck in my chest and it hurts to lay down. The only time I can function is when I take the pain pills, but then I feel loopy and out of it and I can't deal with that. I slept most of the weekend but am now trying to get up and do something. I can't even straighten up without feeling a tug in my abdomen that sends me back to the couch in pain. I'm frustrated with hurting, I'm frustrated with not being able to eat, and I'm frustrated with feeling like crap. I'm frustrated that I even had to have this surgery in the first place, but then I'm grateful that I did because they found the endometriosis and hopefully early enough that it will have little impact.
I don't do good on my own. I know this. So two days at home, laying in bed, in the dark is seriously messing with my head. I'm getting depressed and sad. I'm mad because I haven't worked out in days and I feel flabby. I'm mad that my head hurts and is making me think about it, when it's my stomach's turn to hurt (I might be insane). I want to go back to work but I'm afraid it will hurt. I'm seriously strugglin' right now ya'll...
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Friday, April 24, 2009
It's That Time..
Welp. It's THE Day. I'm headed off to surgery... dum dum dum.
I'm not melodramatic at all.
If you have a spare minute, please just say a quick prayer for us. That this will help fix some problems and that the doctor will be able to see what he needs to see and fix what he needs to fix.
Oh. And that it won't hurt too bad. Because, let's face it.
I'm a whiny little baby when I'm hurting and no one likes a whiny little baby!!
I'm not melodramatic at all.
If you have a spare minute, please just say a quick prayer for us. That this will help fix some problems and that the doctor will be able to see what he needs to see and fix what he needs to fix.
Oh. And that it won't hurt too bad. Because, let's face it.
I'm a whiny little baby when I'm hurting and no one likes a whiny little baby!!
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
8.00 Monday Nite
Yep. That's the last time food has touched these lips people.
But I went down with a fight. I had Mexican and Krystals' for lunch and dinner yesterday. What a perfect last meal. Don't know the Krystals people. I know most normal people would rather peel off their toenails than eat those little pieces of perfection, but not this girl.
I've had 2 SlimFasts Optima's (seriously, these are supposed to curb hunger?), 16 cups of coffee (I can barely type I'm shaking so bad), 2 G2 Gatorades, and 4 bottles of water.
I am starving and I can't stay out of the bathroom.
Oh. And I'm getting cranky. I can literally feel my blood sugar dropping.
People do this liquid diet willingly?!
For anyone that doesn't know, I am not happily doing this no food thing (ha! you think?!?). I'm having surgery on Friday to remove a septum from my uterus, and this is all a form of Chinese water torture preparation for that operation. Gah. I can only hope that this surgery will (insert crossed fingers) do something to help our current situation and that in removing said septum, we will get rid of the reason I can't seem to keep my babies alive. Sorry for the wording. I really am cranky.
In other words, keep your questions coming in for my Q&A post. I promise I won't answer them while I'm drugged up this weekend. Although... Nope. I won't.
Hope you're having a great Tuesday! I personally can't wait to go home, climb into bed, and drift off to sleep with visions of french fries running through my head...
But I went down with a fight. I had Mexican and Krystals' for lunch and dinner yesterday. What a perfect last meal. Don't know the Krystals people. I know most normal people would rather peel off their toenails than eat those little pieces of perfection, but not this girl.
I've had 2 SlimFasts Optima's (seriously, these are supposed to curb hunger?), 16 cups of coffee (I can barely type I'm shaking so bad), 2 G2 Gatorades, and 4 bottles of water.
I am starving and I can't stay out of the bathroom.
Oh. And I'm getting cranky. I can literally feel my blood sugar dropping.
People do this liquid diet willingly?!
For anyone that doesn't know, I am not happily doing this no food thing (ha! you think?!?). I'm having surgery on Friday to remove a septum from my uterus, and this is all a form of Chinese water torture preparation for that operation. Gah. I can only hope that this surgery will (insert crossed fingers) do something to help our current situation and that in removing said septum, we will get rid of the reason I can't seem to keep my babies alive. Sorry for the wording. I really am cranky.
In other words, keep your questions coming in for my Q&A post. I promise I won't answer them while I'm drugged up this weekend. Although... Nope. I won't.
Hope you're having a great Tuesday! I personally can't wait to go home, climb into bed, and drift off to sleep with visions of french fries running through my head...
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Easter... Just a bit late...
Yea.. so my big 'ol 100th post.. not gonna be on the 100 mark. But it's coming. Just not in time, because I'm a grade A procrastinator. Simple.
So last weekend was Easter. I'm posting about it this weekend. Seriously, procrastination at it's finest here folks.
My lovely parentals decided to tell Mr. P and I that they were coming down on Tuesday. Nice advance notice there folks.. We had already made plans to go up to Mr. P's hometown so we weren't going to be able to do Easter with them anyway. They made it down here on Thursday though, so we got to spend some time with them.
The Marine took his new girlfriend, Lora (name has been changed to protect the guilty), out to my parents camper for the official meet and greet on Friday while I was at work. Not sad I missed that actually. I always hated going through that! But apparently all went well.
We headed out to the Crab Shack on Friday nite. Mr. P of course drove like a maniac and almost made me kill him. He does this when my parents are in the car for some reason. He says it's payback for how my Mom drives... Whatevs.
Mis parentals waiting to eat...
Mr. Perfect and I
The Marine and Lora..
The 'rents and I
My Mr. Perfect and I... Yea, he was eating when I was trying to take pictures.
Leaving the Crab Shack sufficiently stuffed.
We decided to head on back to the house and have a Wii Dance Off. Did I mention that Lora is a dancer?! She pretty much made the rest of us look stupid so the boys switched to tennis. We all know I try to not play that with people around...
I have a bad habit of ruining pictures...
Check out the concentration!
Saturday we packed up and headed to Smalltown, SC. We went out to eat with Mr. Perfect's parents Saturday nite, then hit the hay. We got up Sunday morning and went to church with his Dad. It's fun to go up there and see the church Mr. Perfect grew up in and hear his stories of the people he knows. We didn't really like the sermon though. Kind of blah for an Easter service. I'm used to a way more emotional service on Easter and this pastor's just didn't deliver. But it makes his Dad's day for us to go to church with him, so I'm all for that.
We left right after lunch. It was a pretty small, tame gathering as Mr. Perfect's family goes. There's a freakin' ton of them, but most weren't there so it was pretty quiet.
We got home and spent the rest of the evening hanging with my parents. They had gone down to Lora's family's place for Easter dinner. I think that's weird, but whatever. I have mentioned before that Lora's cousin is my ex-bff right? Yea. My parents and brother spent Easter with her. I haven't decided how I feel about that exactly. Or maybe I have and I'm just not into going into it. But I digress..
Overall it was a nice Easter. I think we've decided next year we're definitely doing Easter at our church. Let's see how all parents go for that.
This weekend was pretty lazy. I ate everything I wanted since I start my liquid diet of fun on Tuesday. Can't wait for that! (insert sarcastic grin). Mr. Perfect had inventory all weekend, so I really haven't seen him. And then I was bad and didn't even get up for church this morning... In my defense, I think I might have been in a small coma. I could not budge.
So..... I'm going to go ahead and do what so many before me already have. I'm doing a Q&A! Everybody says "yay!". Even if you don't get that excited, send me your questions folks. I'm pretty open, so I'll answer about everything, and probably with pictures because that's how I do. Email me at perfectlyimperfectlife@gmail{dot}com with your questions.
And if you don't mind too much, say a little prayer for this surgery because this girl is FREAKING. Not about the cramping or anything like that because I've been through that, but about the pain from the incisions in my abdomen. I'm seriously stressin' here folks.
Oh yea. And about that liquid diet thingy and the other ahem prep work... Not fun.
So last weekend was Easter. I'm posting about it this weekend. Seriously, procrastination at it's finest here folks.
My lovely parentals decided to tell Mr. P and I that they were coming down on Tuesday. Nice advance notice there folks.. We had already made plans to go up to Mr. P's hometown so we weren't going to be able to do Easter with them anyway. They made it down here on Thursday though, so we got to spend some time with them.
The Marine took his new girlfriend, Lora (name has been changed to protect the guilty), out to my parents camper for the official meet and greet on Friday while I was at work. Not sad I missed that actually. I always hated going through that! But apparently all went well.
We headed out to the Crab Shack on Friday nite. Mr. P of course drove like a maniac and almost made me kill him. He does this when my parents are in the car for some reason. He says it's payback for how my Mom drives... Whatevs.
Mis parentals waiting to eat...
Mr. Perfect and I
The Marine and Lora..
The 'rents and I
My Mr. Perfect and I... Yea, he was eating when I was trying to take pictures.
Leaving the Crab Shack sufficiently stuffed.
We decided to head on back to the house and have a Wii Dance Off. Did I mention that Lora is a dancer?! She pretty much made the rest of us look stupid so the boys switched to tennis. We all know I try to not play that with people around...
I have a bad habit of ruining pictures...
Check out the concentration!
Saturday we packed up and headed to Smalltown, SC. We went out to eat with Mr. Perfect's parents Saturday nite, then hit the hay. We got up Sunday morning and went to church with his Dad. It's fun to go up there and see the church Mr. Perfect grew up in and hear his stories of the people he knows. We didn't really like the sermon though. Kind of blah for an Easter service. I'm used to a way more emotional service on Easter and this pastor's just didn't deliver. But it makes his Dad's day for us to go to church with him, so I'm all for that.
We left right after lunch. It was a pretty small, tame gathering as Mr. Perfect's family goes. There's a freakin' ton of them, but most weren't there so it was pretty quiet.
We got home and spent the rest of the evening hanging with my parents. They had gone down to Lora's family's place for Easter dinner. I think that's weird, but whatever. I have mentioned before that Lora's cousin is my ex-bff right? Yea. My parents and brother spent Easter with her. I haven't decided how I feel about that exactly. Or maybe I have and I'm just not into going into it. But I digress..
Overall it was a nice Easter. I think we've decided next year we're definitely doing Easter at our church. Let's see how all parents go for that.
This weekend was pretty lazy. I ate everything I wanted since I start my liquid diet of fun on Tuesday. Can't wait for that! (insert sarcastic grin). Mr. Perfect had inventory all weekend, so I really haven't seen him. And then I was bad and didn't even get up for church this morning... In my defense, I think I might have been in a small coma. I could not budge.
So..... I'm going to go ahead and do what so many before me already have. I'm doing a Q&A! Everybody says "yay!". Even if you don't get that excited, send me your questions folks. I'm pretty open, so I'll answer about everything, and probably with pictures because that's how I do. Email me at perfectlyimperfectlife@gmail{dot}com with your questions.
And if you don't mind too much, say a little prayer for this surgery because this girl is FREAKING. Not about the cramping or anything like that because I've been through that, but about the pain from the incisions in my abdomen. I'm seriously stressin' here folks.
Oh yea. And about that liquid diet thingy and the other ahem prep work... Not fun.
Friday, April 17, 2009
98.
I feel like I should do something super fun for my 100th post. But I'm freakin' out about my surgery next week and my brain isn't quite functioning properly. So I'm begging politely asking you lovely ladies for some suggestions... What would you like to hear about on my lovely 100th?
Nothing like waiting til the last minute or anything.. smooth.
Also smooth? This fierce skinned up knee I'm rocking.
That's right. My knee matches your pre-pubescent skate board riding boys.
I have super loose ligaments in my ankle. They tend to roll quite easily. Thankfully I've never had a sprained ankle because they are so loose. So I'm running along (on a very busy street) when my ankle rolled. If it's my right ankle, it's all gravy it doesn't even slow me down, if it's my left ankle, I usually eat dirt because my left knee is shot and give me 0 support.
Guess which ankle rolled?
I fell flat on the pavement. I. Was. Mortified.
And still a mile from home.
Not even going to lie. I busted out in tears (we're talking serious blow to the pride here people! I was on a BUSY street!). Iran limped the last mile with tears streaming down my face (they dried up quickly though), blood running down my legs, and blood running down my arms from where I landed on my hands.
I don't remember skinned knees hurting this bad when I was little?! And did your hands actually bruise when you fell on them where you were a kid?
Sign of the times not so much.. More like sign of the late 20's.
Also on the list of super fun things this girl got to do this week; I had my pre-op appointment on Tues. La de da the fun of yet one more physical and one more blood draw. Of one more nurse seriously checking your pulse when she sees your blood pressure is 98/58. I assume that's shocking. I promise you I'm sitting here breathing.
What was completely unexpected and almost made me run screaming for the hills?
My week on a strict liquid diet. You heard it here first. I almost walked out of the doctor's office.
I will be a raving maniac by Friday if I can't eat starting Monday. Oh my poor husband....
Enough ranting. Hook me up with some fun post ideas! What did you guys do for your 100th?
Nothing like waiting til the last minute or anything.. smooth.
Also smooth? This fierce skinned up knee I'm rocking.
That's right. My knee matches your pre-pubescent skate board riding boys.
I have super loose ligaments in my ankle. They tend to roll quite easily. Thankfully I've never had a sprained ankle because they are so loose. So I'm running along (on a very busy street) when my ankle rolled. If it's my right ankle, it's all gravy it doesn't even slow me down, if it's my left ankle, I usually eat dirt because my left knee is shot and give me 0 support.
Guess which ankle rolled?
I fell flat on the pavement. I. Was. Mortified.
And still a mile from home.
Not even going to lie. I busted out in tears (we're talking serious blow to the pride here people! I was on a BUSY street!). I
I don't remember skinned knees hurting this bad when I was little?! And did your hands actually bruise when you fell on them where you were a kid?
Sign of the times not so much.. More like sign of the late 20's.
Also on the list of super fun things this girl got to do this week; I had my pre-op appointment on Tues. La de da the fun of yet one more physical and one more blood draw. Of one more nurse seriously checking your pulse when she sees your blood pressure is 98/58. I assume that's shocking. I promise you I'm sitting here breathing.
What was completely unexpected and almost made me run screaming for the hills?
My week on a strict liquid diet. You heard it here first. I almost walked out of the doctor's office.
I will be a raving maniac by Friday if I can't eat starting Monday. Oh my poor husband....
Enough ranting. Hook me up with some fun post ideas! What did you guys do for your 100th?
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
I'll be witty tomorrow...
I'm having a blah week.
It's been a hard week for me personally as I would be 20 weeks this week and we would be finding out what we were being blessed with...
I have 3 friends who got pregnant right about the same time I did. One's expecting a girl, one a boy, and one still has a couple of weeks til she finds out. And while my heart is bursting with joy for each one of them, it also sends me running to the bathroom quite a bit to gather myself.
I am also emotionally trying to gear up for another procedure that may or may not help in our pregnancy loss battle. And it's getting harder and harder to face all this head on.
I'll be better tomorrow. I'm just sad today....
It's been a hard week for me personally as I would be 20 weeks this week and we would be finding out what we were being blessed with...
I have 3 friends who got pregnant right about the same time I did. One's expecting a girl, one a boy, and one still has a couple of weeks til she finds out. And while my heart is bursting with joy for each one of them, it also sends me running to the bathroom quite a bit to gather myself.
I am also emotionally trying to gear up for another procedure that may or may not help in our pregnancy loss battle. And it's getting harder and harder to face all this head on.
I'll be better tomorrow. I'm just sad today....
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Baltimore: Day 1
A few weekends back, Mr. Perfect and I ventured on up to see my parents in Maryland. My parents moved up there a few years back for their jobs and are still currently up there. They moved after I'd already left for college and most of my family is still down here in the South, so honestly, I don't make it up there too often to visit. Which makes me a very bad daughter but...
Plus, if you think this girl in a car for 10 hours is a good idea then you are insane.
I cannot sit still for 10 minutes. 10 hours?!? Like having my fingernails pulled off.
But Mr. Perfect and I both managed to somehow score 4 day weekends over St. Patty's Day so we figured we would head on up there.
I almost changed my mind when I checked the weather from my nice 70 degree hometown and saw a chance of snow in the DC area. I don't think I even own a coat!!
So after work on Friday the 13th (cue scary music), Mr. Perfect and I loaded up the kids, took them to the kennel (no tears were shed this time!), and then hit the road.
I managed to keep myself entertained for the first 3 hours of the trip with a couple of books. I read my fertility book cover to cover (which is a story in itself in that in 3 hours time I managed to convince myself that I had everything wrong possible with my reproductive system!) and then some Nicholas Sparks book. By that time we had reached Florence, SC, home of Mr. Perfects parents, and place of our first break.
Yes. Mr. Perfect hates to stop so he tries to "schedule" breaks for us. I usually break this idea about an hour into the trip. I always seem toneed want something!
We had a quick little visit with the inlaws then got back on the road.
At this point, Mr. Perfect decides he's too tired to drive.
Huh?!
Apparently I talked in my sleep all nite the nite before and he got no sleep. Blah. So I figure I'll be nice and let him nap a bit.
7 hours, bunches of coffee, and way too many Full Throttles later, Mr. Perfect is still asleep and we're pulling up in St. Leonard, MD. Are you kidding me?!?
We go straight to bed with plans to sleep in in the morning. This girl is up at 8.30 am. Sure... Can't get up for work to save my life, but let me drive all nite and I'll be bright eyed and bushy tailed in the morning! I loved it though because when I got up only my Dad was awake so far, so I got to spend some quality time with him. My Dad is the person most like me on the planet. Which is weird, because we're total opposites. But the important stuff; we're on the same page. I got to hang out with my Dad in the quiet, both drinking our black coffee (I swear I drink it this way just because he does!), reading (the news for him, y'alls blogs for me!), and occasionally making idle chit chat. My Dad is one of the only people in the world I feel truly comfortable with. He and I both understand our need for "me" time, we're both really bad at talking about our feelings, and we both have horrible tempers! I love my time with him!
About an hour later my Mom and the Hubs make their way downstairs. We piddle, talk, play with the dogs, consume another 5 cups of coffee... Wait. That was just me. We decided not to do DC this trip since we always visit there and we got on the road to Baltimore.
I We suggested we should eat first so we headed to some seafood restaurant right on Baltimore's inner harbor. Not bad food. I had the oyster poboy. Actually quite good, and the view was spectacular.
Mom and Dad at lunch:
Even though it was starting to rain and I felt like it was subarctic weather outside, we decided after lunch we should walk around the Harbor. So we did. We walked all the way to the shopping mall and then we stayed inside for awhile!
Mr. Perfect and I by the Harbor:
And no, that's not my coat. I wasn't lying when I told you I didn't have one! I had to borrow one from my Mom! Thankfully she's lived up North long enough that she seems to have a nice collection!!
My cutie little parents on the Harbor:
We didn't do too much else that day. We decided to head on back to St. Leonard and come back the next day and do some more things that we thought sounded interesting. When we got back home, I laced up for a quick little run and my Dad decided to go with me. My Dad is actually the runner in the family, but I managed to actually push him a bit this time! We did a 3 mile run with hills. Kudos to those of you who run hills. I almost died. Seriously, saw lights and everything. My version of a hill in Savannah is the slope of a ditch. Kid you not. My quads were on fire. But it was easier to breathe up there so I knocked out the 3 miles in less than 32 minutes. I thought that was pretty good. Oh yea.. it was in the rain too. Makes that 32 minutes a bit better, maybe?
We had another 2 days there, but I'll save that for another post. Don't want to bombard you with too much in one day!
Oh yea. I put this out on Twitter, but I spoke with my doctor about our next step in our journey to our family. As most of you know, we've had quite a time in the past with multiple miscarriages and we're doing some different therapy before we try to conceive again. At our last appointment, about 2 months ago, I was told to begin charting my temperatures. Basically he was looking to see if my uterus was healthy enough after the D&C on New Years to sustain another surgery. Apparently it is. So right after my next cycle (around the middle of April ), I will be having surgery to remove the septum in my uterus. It's supposed to be a day surgery and should be pretty "simple", but there's all kinds of thing that can complicate this surgery so.. Of course I'm a little freaked out. So just keep us in your prayers if you don't mind in this next month. Hopefully this will get the outcome he wants and maybe (hopefully!!) will make it possible to sustain a pregnancy. We shall see.
I can almost breathe again. Thank you ridiculously high pollen count for taking away my enjoyment of spring.
I can't watch Idol til the hubs gets home. He better hurry. I'm dying!!
Plus, if you think this girl in a car for 10 hours is a good idea then you are insane.
I cannot sit still for 10 minutes. 10 hours?!? Like having my fingernails pulled off.
But Mr. Perfect and I both managed to somehow score 4 day weekends over St. Patty's Day so we figured we would head on up there.
I almost changed my mind when I checked the weather from my nice 70 degree hometown and saw a chance of snow in the DC area. I don't think I even own a coat!!
So after work on Friday the 13th (cue scary music), Mr. Perfect and I loaded up the kids, took them to the kennel (no tears were shed this time!), and then hit the road.
I managed to keep myself entertained for the first 3 hours of the trip with a couple of books. I read my fertility book cover to cover (which is a story in itself in that in 3 hours time I managed to convince myself that I had everything wrong possible with my reproductive system!) and then some Nicholas Sparks book. By that time we had reached Florence, SC, home of Mr. Perfects parents, and place of our first break.
Yes. Mr. Perfect hates to stop so he tries to "schedule" breaks for us. I usually break this idea about an hour into the trip. I always seem to
We had a quick little visit with the inlaws then got back on the road.
At this point, Mr. Perfect decides he's too tired to drive.
Huh?!
Apparently I talked in my sleep all nite the nite before and he got no sleep. Blah. So I figure I'll be nice and let him nap a bit.
7 hours, bunches of coffee, and way too many Full Throttles later, Mr. Perfect is still asleep and we're pulling up in St. Leonard, MD. Are you kidding me?!?
We go straight to bed with plans to sleep in in the morning. This girl is up at 8.30 am. Sure... Can't get up for work to save my life, but let me drive all nite and I'll be bright eyed and bushy tailed in the morning! I loved it though because when I got up only my Dad was awake so far, so I got to spend some quality time with him. My Dad is the person most like me on the planet. Which is weird, because we're total opposites. But the important stuff; we're on the same page. I got to hang out with my Dad in the quiet, both drinking our black coffee (I swear I drink it this way just because he does!), reading (the news for him, y'alls blogs for me!), and occasionally making idle chit chat. My Dad is one of the only people in the world I feel truly comfortable with. He and I both understand our need for "me" time, we're both really bad at talking about our feelings, and we both have horrible tempers! I love my time with him!
About an hour later my Mom and the Hubs make their way downstairs. We piddle, talk, play with the dogs, consume another 5 cups of coffee... Wait. That was just me. We decided not to do DC this trip since we always visit there and we got on the road to Baltimore.
Mom and Dad at lunch:
Even though it was starting to rain and I felt like it was subarctic weather outside, we decided after lunch we should walk around the Harbor. So we did. We walked all the way to the shopping mall and then we stayed inside for awhile!
Mr. Perfect and I by the Harbor:
And no, that's not my coat. I wasn't lying when I told you I didn't have one! I had to borrow one from my Mom! Thankfully she's lived up North long enough that she seems to have a nice collection!!
My cutie little parents on the Harbor:
We didn't do too much else that day. We decided to head on back to St. Leonard and come back the next day and do some more things that we thought sounded interesting. When we got back home, I laced up for a quick little run and my Dad decided to go with me. My Dad is actually the runner in the family, but I managed to actually push him a bit this time! We did a 3 mile run with hills. Kudos to those of you who run hills. I almost died. Seriously, saw lights and everything. My version of a hill in Savannah is the slope of a ditch. Kid you not. My quads were on fire. But it was easier to breathe up there so I knocked out the 3 miles in less than 32 minutes. I thought that was pretty good. Oh yea.. it was in the rain too. Makes that 32 minutes a bit better, maybe?
We had another 2 days there, but I'll save that for another post. Don't want to bombard you with too much in one day!
Oh yea. I put this out on Twitter, but I spoke with my doctor about our next step in our journey to our family. As most of you know, we've had quite a time in the past with multiple miscarriages and we're doing some different therapy before we try to conceive again. At our last appointment, about 2 months ago, I was told to begin charting my temperatures. Basically he was looking to see if my uterus was healthy enough after the D&C on New Years to sustain another surgery. Apparently it is. So right after my next cycle (around the middle of April ), I will be having surgery to remove the septum in my uterus. It's supposed to be a day surgery and should be pretty "simple", but there's all kinds of thing that can complicate this surgery so.. Of course I'm a little freaked out. So just keep us in your prayers if you don't mind in this next month. Hopefully this will get the outcome he wants and maybe (hopefully!!) will make it possible to sustain a pregnancy. We shall see.
I can almost breathe again. Thank you ridiculously high pollen count for taking away my enjoyment of spring.
I can't watch Idol til the hubs gets home. He better hurry. I'm dying!!
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