I have a confession.
I tend to make these super fun plans for BG and I and then completely let them fall through the cracks.
Like make plans to go shopping or eat or something and then decide it's just too dang hard to get her and I ready and then lug a 30 pound toddler around and oh my yoga pants are mighty comfy. See?
Then on Monday it was gorgeous outside (don't get me started on this weather and my anxiety that goes with it) and while I was looking out the window at work I decided to take BG to the park that afternoon. And then I told myself that I was absolutely not allowed to talk myself out of it.
So I packed up early and headed on out to pick her up. And we went to the park. Go me.
This face? Totally worth going.
I would do anything to see that face.
As I watched her run around that park like she owned it, I almost couldn't breathe by how fast it hit me that she is really
growing up.
I mean, no duh, but seriously. This is
flying by.
When I was in college I could easily talk myself into going out no matter how tired I was. I always told myself
"you can sleep when you're dead" and I would muster the energy to go hang out with friends or go see a movie or
hit the bars hit the library. Looking back, I'm glad I spent that time with my friends. I don't regret it at all. And I lived
(not sure how) despite how tired I was at the time.
And while not the same at all, it actually kind of is. That same mantra is coming into play. Yes, sometimes I just want to sit down and do nothing instead of swinging her
"'gain Mommy?!?" for the fiftieth time that day, but I can guarantee that years from now, I will not regret swinging her that extra time. At all. And I don't want to take the chance that I just might regret not doing it.
The next day, we hit that park again. Because it was gorgeous and because she wanted to and because I absolutely cherish these moments with her.
The cuddles are slowing down, there are no more middle of the night feedings, there is no more laying around doing tummy time. I already miss those so, so much. But there is this; there's chasing her around a park, there's her laughing as I swing her high in the air over and over, there's an excited "Bird Mommy!!" as we check out the ducks. There is still all of that. And so long as there is all of that, I'll buck up and join her on those adventures. After all... I can sleep when I'm dead.