birthday recap.

Birthdays look a bit different at twenty nine no?

I remember (vaguely) when birthdays were a night out with friends, drinks and dancing. This year? Church, Sesame Street and lunch with my two favorite people.

There was a glass of sangria with this pretty lady, so that's old timish right?

Except for the two toddlers sharing dinner with us. ;)

Mr. P and BG woke me up with gifts in bed that morning and then it was breakfast and off to church. We ate a quick lunch afterwards and prayed for a quick nap before we had to head to Sesame Street Live.

I was terrified that BG was going to freak out at all the costumes and leave me listening to weeks of Mr. P saying "I told you so", but she did great! At first she just kind of stared at them but the longer it went on, the more she clapped and giggled and danced around. It was adorable!



After the intermission was a different story though. She had lost interest in the show and just wanted to run around. We had to pull out the Goldfish for any chance of her sitting still til the end.

Overall, she loved it. I will wait until she's a bit older til we go again. I looked at Mr. P one time as we both sat there listening and I had to laugh when he said "five years ago this would've been a Metallica concert".

So true. Five years ago I would've been at Bonnaroo. Oh how the times have changed.

We met up with Erin, TC and Hudson for dinner afterwards. I adore Erin and am so thankful for her friendship and it was fun to introduce the husbands for the first time. I just wish they lived closer so we could see them more often!

Clearly BG was OVER IT by this time.

After finally getting BG calmed down enough for bed (at ten o' clock.. grrr), we passed out too and called it a day. Good times.

A much different birthday from ones in the past, but so much fun. Thanks again for all the birthday wishes and tweets y'all. You helped make my day!

twenty nine.

The other day, a new blog friend wrote a post that I loved. Susan also just turned twenty nine and I LOVED her outlook on it.

I had a mild freak out the night before my birthday. All of a sudden I couldn't breathe at the fact that my life is literally flying by. All of a sudden, I panicked at where I am in life and just how far I am from what my "dreams" were growing up.

I asked Mr. P "what have I even done with my life?!" (yes, sometimes I'm dramatic) as I sat there on the verge of tears and he snapped me back to reality with one word; "her" he said, pointing at Baby Girl across the room.

And that's it.

I'm twenty nine. My life is about three thousand times different than what I thought it would be. My years have been completely different than I thought they would be. Man, they're different, but oh my gosh are they amazing.

I've made amazing friends. I've also made crappy friends who are no longer friends but who taught me something about myself. I've had some of the best times and some super low times.

I've fallen in love a couple of times. I've had my heart broken once and I've broken a few. I fell so hard in love with a man that I married him eight months later. I am still so, so in love with him.

I've suffered from Recurrent Pregnancy Loss and came out the other side. I'm become a mother to five precious souls; four in Heaven and the sweetest little girl in the world here on Earth.

I've laughed. I've cried. I've fought.

I still have zero clue what I want to with my life. Career wise I mean. But if there is one thing that I've learned in my twenties, it's that life is what you make it. And this life I'm living with Mr. P and Baby Girl is perfection. I am so thankful that my twenty nine years on Earth have led me here.

9-11-01

Ten years ago, I woke up to the sounds of my roommate, Lori, and my suitemate, Ashley talking as they got ready for class. We were all freshmen at a small college in south Georgia. I was a soccer player so I was up way before them for practice and such most days. For some reason, we didn't have practice that morning so I got to sleep in.

I was pissed at how loud they were being. Not only was it my day to sleep in, but it was also my birthday. I just wanted five extra minutes! I tried to roll back over and go back to sleep, but they turned the news up too loud.

I didn't want to go to class. I thought since it was birthday I didn't have to go. Ashley was trying to convince me to get up when Lori pulled the covers off of me and started jabbering about some sort of plane and New York City. I heard her, but in my sleepy state I just didn't get it. Lori and I were running late to our nine am class (as usual) so as we were shutting the door, we saw the second plate hit on our tv.

My stomach dropped. I looked at Lori and she looked at me and we were both pale as ghosts. What was going on?

We didn't know what to do, so we headed to class. Our professor was standing at the door and the classroom was empty. He told us to go to the student center and hang out there. This was huge whatever it was.

I walked into the student center and saw the people gathered around the tv. No one was talking. That was really odd and scared me more than anything. College students are never quiet. One of the boys across the room looked up when we walked in and hollered out "hey! Happy Birthday by the way." Then we got the news about the Pentagon.

Everything got hazy there because all I could remember at that moment was that my Dad was flying that day. He's in the military and was headed to a meeting when all of this happened. I called my Mom and all she could tell me was that he was safe and that they had landed his plane somewhere but she wasn't sure where.

My heart sank. Being from a military family, I knew this was the beginning of something huge. I just couldn't wrap my head around it that day. My entire campus shut down for the day. We were told to call our families, make sure everyone was safe and just be together for the day. The Canadians and the other foreign students were solemn as they watched us try to process what was happening to our country.

Other than that boy, there was not another birthday wish. Even I forgot it was my birthday.

My world changed that day. I had always been a person that saw the best in everyone so it shook me to the core that someone could be this mean. I was terrified of what this meant for my Dad as he left to go overseas very soon afterwards. I was terrified to fly. I now looked at different groups of people with fear where as before I looked at everyone the same.

Colors now marked "terror levels". Searches were now hardcore at airports. Everything was different.

I don't think anyone will ever forget that day. I sure hope they don't. When I think back on that day, I remember the terrifying feeling in my gut, the panic as I waited for word on my Dad and the anger at how someone could do this. But I also remember how proud I was of my country. As the stories came out of rescues and the firefighters and such, I knew we would get through this.

And we have.

My Dad and my brother have been deployed since then. It's different from deployments before 9-11. They terrify me now. But I'm so proud of them for fighting for their country. I am so, so proud of all of our troops.

I'm a different person from the girl who woke up on her nineteenth birthday. My country is different. I love this place. I can't imagine living anywhere else.

Mr. P and I watched the 9-11 coverage in silence last night. I couldn't help but tear up as it all came back. As once again, I watched the day my world changed.

Someday I'll tell BG about this. She will never feel the raw emotion her parents feel because she wasn't there, but she needs to know. America needs to never forget.

a Friday free for all....

People keep asking me how I feel about turning 29 on Sunday. Honestly i feel fine, although the fact that they seem shocked by that answer worries me. Will I wake up on Sunday with completely grey hair and liver spots? Tell me now people. Because I freaked at 27. I need a pass this year.

sometimes I come into contact with people through the day that downright make me wonder how they function. Like how do some people get through the day? There should be a test you have to take procreate. I'm just saying...

apparently my new tablet (whoo birthday gift!) will autocorrect like whoa but won't automatically capitalize the first word in a paragraph. That stinks. So this post is going to drive some of my grammar pals bat nuts crazy. Oops.

we're supposed to take BG to see Sesame Street Live on Sunday. Here's the thing; she's sort of terrified of the CFA cow so now I'm worried she is going to LOSE HER MIND over all those costumes. She loves Elmo though and will sing the mess out of some "Elmo's Song". So will she love it?? I really, really want to take her but I do not want to listen to the "I told you sos" that are sure to follow a wehavetogonowbeforetheythrowusout meltdown. Anyone care to weigh in??

I can't believe it's been ten years since 9/11. Wow.

my birthday weekend is starting off much quieter than last year. Maybe the Dawgswill pullout win tomorrow and kick off good time Megapolooza.

what? You don't name your birthday after a music festival? Silly.

this post is a mess. Peace. Have a great weekend!

wish list.

So my birthday is Sunday. And for the first time in a long time, I cannot think of anything I want.

Okay so that's not true. If I was to get a shopping spree to Target that would be okay. Simple things.

This lens would be okay too.

via

I also have a hankering for the Erin Condren planner that is all the rage because I do love a good planner. However, I missed the good deal and I am not paying that kind of money for a planner. Le sigh...


via

If I was completely honest, I would admit that I'd prefer to go shopping for the little one with some birthday money. Oh! Or buy her first year photobook (you know, if it was done..). Who am I??

Plans for the weekend? Well, it's going to be quiet. No girl's night this year which makes me sad a bit. But truthfully? Hanging with these two and going to see a bit of Sesame Street Live is kind of going to be awesome.

Besides, where better to watch my youth slip on by than at an Elmo show??

Kidding. Sort of.

Bring it on twenty nine.